Page 115 of Out of the Storm

Gary slunk back. “Don’t.” He hung his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m so sorry, Jeff. Did Brandon call you? Or was it Mel?”

“It was Brandon.” Jeff came closer, but Gary backed up again. “Why are you moving away from me? Why are you saying sorry?”

“Because I made you come over.”

“Youmademe? Gare, you never even told me you were hurt.”

“It probably seems like I was trying to force you to come see me,” Gary mumbled, his gaze trained on the floor like he couldn’t even look Jeff in the eye.

“No, no, no,” Jeff said, mustering up every bit of tenderness he could when he spoke. “I know you’re not like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Gary choked out, his eyes now brimming with tears.

“Stop.” Jeff lifted his hand up but hesitated. “Can I touch you?”

“No.”

And then Gary started to cry, and fuck, Jeff wanted nothing more than to hold him.

“No?”

“Because then we’ll start to cuddle and then you’ll push yourself too far and then that’ll hurt you and it’ll be my fault.”

Jeff ran a hand over his face. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“No, come on, I promise that won’t happen.”

“You’ve promised that before.”

“Baby, I . . .”

Jeff’s voice cracked. Now he was tearing up too. Gary was right. Jeff really had fucked everything up, hadn’t he? He’d fucked up so hard that now his boyfriend was too scared to let Jeff hold him. Even when he fucking needed it most. Teeth clenched, Jeff turned and smacked the side of his fist on the wall half-heartedly, barelyenough to feel it, but enough to let out some of the rage that had started simmering beneath his skin. How the hell was he supposed to fix this?

“Look, Gare, Ireallypromise this time.” Jeff looked into Gary’s beautiful green eyes, not really sure if Gary’s vision was sharp enough to read his expression but trying to wordlessly communicate his sincerity anyway. “Let me hold you. Or...” He took a tentative step forward and was relieved when Gary didn’t shy away this time. “Did you even put ice on your nose?”

“Not yet. I was trying to fix my glasses.” Jeff followed Gary’s gaze over to the coffee table. “I tried to straighten out the frames, but then one of the arms fell off and I had a spare screw, but I dropped it and now I can’t find it because...” He laughed derisively. “Because I can’t see the stupid thing!”

“I’ll look for it,” Jeff said. “Go wait on the couch. But I’m bringing you some ice first.”

Jeff hurried over to the freezer to fetch some ice. Luckily, Gary had a couple of cubes left in his ice cube tray. After plopping them in a tiny plastic bag, Jeff covered the bag with a paper towel and then came back to find Gary on his hands and knees searching for the screw in the carpet.

“I told you, I’ll find it,” Jeff said, placing a hand on Gary’s back. “Come sit with me.”

Without a word, Gary pushed himself up and stood, and Jeff took his hand and gently led him over to the love seat. They sat next to one another, and it was only then that Jeff finally saw what was left of Gary’s black frames up close. One of the lenses had come out (and was in pieces on the coffee table), but the other was still intact. The frames themselves were pretty mangled. How would they even stay balanced on Gary’s face once he replaced the screw?

He turned back to Gary and lifted up the ice.

“Let me take care of you, baby,” Jeff said. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Gary mumbled, his face still wet from tears.

Very carefully, Jeff reached out his free hand and tried to use his fingertips to wipe the moisture away. Gary smiled a little.

“Thanks, Jeffrey.”

Jeff rested the ice atop Gary’s nose, taking care not to let it press too hard. Gary let out a little whimper.

“What happened? Where’d you even see Don?”

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