Page 117 of Out of the Storm

“Wait.” Gary pushed away the ice and sat up to face him. “Do you think when I look hurt, it’s because I’m upset that we have to stop whatever it is we were doing? Like, when you were sucking me off, you thought I was sad that we couldn’t finish?”

“Well, yeah, kinda.”

“No,” Gary said emphatically. He shook his head. “Never. Never ever. Do you know what hurts? It hurts that I can see you pushing yourself too far for me. It hurts that you won’t be honest with me. It hurts that you feel like you have to hide. It scares me too, Jeff. I’m constantly worried that you’ll leave, that you’ll throw in the towel because it’s too much for you. I’m worried that I’ll keep messing up and it’ll push you away. But I never have a chance to evenknowthat I’m messing up until it’s too late. I mean, I wish that whenever you felt like... like however you feel when it’s too much, you’d say ‘Hey, Gare, I need a break’ or ‘Hey, Gare, I need you to stop touching me like that’ or—or whatever. I wish you’d behonestwith me. I keep trying to check in with you, but you’re never honest.That’swhat’s hurting us, Jeff.”

Jeff’s chest felt tight as he tried to process Gary’s words. He swallowed hard. “I... I don’t know... What do you want me to do? You want something like—like me telling you exactly how you can touch me? God, that sounds pathetic. Or you want to constantly check with me to make sure I’m okay? Gare, that’s...”Shame coiled tightly in Jeff’s stomach. “It’s fucking sad is what it is.”

“It’s not sad,” Gary said immediately.

“Well, it’s not hot. It’s not . . . sexy.”

“I think it can be.” Gary took the ice away from Jeff and plopped it onto the couch behind him. “Watch.” He looked into Jeff’s eyes. “Ask me.”

Jeff cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“Ask me if you can touch me.”

Jeff’s eyes flickered up to the ceiling. God help him. He held up his hand close to Gary’s cheek. “Gare, can I...” But then he scrunched up his nose. “Nope. Can’t. I feel stupid.”

“Here, let me try.” Gary lifted his hand and let it hover a couple of inches from Jeff’s face. “Can I touch you?”

“Christ, this is so stupid. Yes, Gare, you can touch me.”

Gary cupped Jeff’s cheek and started stroking with his thumb. So stupid.

Gary moved closer and said in a very tender but slightly teasing tone of voice, “Can I kiss you?”

Smirking, Jeff replied, “With that swollen nose of yours? Yeah, sure, you can try.”

Slowly, Gary leaned in and brushed their lips together, his touch so featherlight it sent tingles up Jeff’s spine. He couldn’t help but laugh a little from the sensation, and his laughter broke their kiss. Next, Gary started placing tiny, sweet kisses along Jeff’s jaw.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Jeff said, still smiling. Gary Graham. He was never not absolutely adorable. “It’s okay.”

Gary pressed another few kisses along his jaw, and Jeff closed his eyes as warmth continued to pool within him. Then, just as he wastaking a deep breath, he felt Gary’s hand set on his thigh, and the unexpected touch made him flinch a little.

“Sorry.” Gary took his hand away. “I should have asked if it was okay first. I’m still learning.”

Jeff opened his eyes and let out a shaky breath. “It just startled me. But it was okay, Gare.”

“Okay.” Gary gently rested his hand on Jeff’s thigh again and resumed kissing Jeff’s face, slowly moving lower to his neck. With each touch of Gary’s lips, the hand on Jeff’s thigh inched higher, working its way carefully toward Jeff’s crotch. Already, Jeff felt himself becoming hard. Gary paused. “Is... this... okay?” he asked, punctuating each word with a kiss.

“Yeah,” Jeff breathed. “Yeah.”

“Can I...” Gary stopped kissing him and sat up straight, looking into Jeff’s eyes again. “Can I open your pants?”

Swallowing hard, Jeff nodded. “Yeah.”

Seeing Gary fumble with the zipper had Jeff feeling momentarily lightheaded. God, he was so fucking excited. Once Gary finished unzipping his pants, Jeff lifted himself up so that Gary could pull them down.

“Wait, Gare,” Jeff said. “Briefs.”

“Are you sure?” Gary asked.

Jeff nodded. Gary hooked his fingers inside the waistband and pulled those down too. After he’d kicked his pants and briefs off, they both looked down at Jeff’s cock—now completely hard, sticking straight out and practicallybeggingfor attention—and then back at each other. Gary’s hand found Jeff’s bare thigh, but this time, Jeff didn’t flinch.

“Jeff, I want to touch you,” Gary said. “Can I try?”

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