Page 43 of Out of the Storm

Thankfully, the car ride was uneventful. Gary sat up front with Brandon, who was obviously very excited for the whole thing, and it was fun to see someone talkGary’sear off for once. Overall, Brandon was being surprisingly normal too, probably because he was worried that he might scare away the only person Jeff had shown interest in for forever.

When they arrived, they headed inside, and Jeff immediately realized the “party” was really less of a party and more of a potluck with crappy music and mediocre beer. Gary introduced Jeff and Brandon to Mel, who in turn introduced them to everyone else. Just five minutes later, Jeff couldn’t seem to remember anyone’s name. Gary probably remembered them, though, since he’d no doubt met many of them before and seemed capable of storing all kinds of facts in his head. Which was so cool. Jeff liked how smart Gary was. How sharp. It was incredible, really, how big of a brain Gary had. He was a sexy math teacher who operated his own radio station. Jeff, in comparison, was a mall janitor who liked to travel west to watch tornadoes a couple of times a year. One who couldn’t even be touched sexually. Or, hell, even sensually.

Gary was so far out of his league.

Needing something to help lift the crushing weight of inadequacy that had settled on his chest, Jeff proceeded to finish off a few beers in rapid succession. He’d thrown them back so fast that by the time Jeff was on his fourth, Gary was still only nursing his second. Meanwhile, Brandon had kept his promise to stay sober. Not that it mattered for him, socially. Ever confident, Brandon had been hitting on one of Mel’s friends without issue since they’d arrived. One hundred percent sober. In fact, as Jeff was polishingoff his fourth beer, Brandon and Mel’s random friend went out back to have a smoke, which probably meant they were kissing or maybe even rounding a couple of bases. Good for him. Lucky bastard.

Later, while Jeff was barely managing to resist the urge to find a fifth beer, he, Gary, and Mel became wrapped up in a conversation about the kinds of trips Jeff had been on to see storms. As Jeff used the opportunity to distract himself and to maybe impress Gary a bit, recanting the tale of the F4 he’d witnessed in Oklahoma last year, Ken, Mel’s boyfriend, came up behind Mel, wrapping his big, beefy arms around her shoulders and pulling her in for a backwards hug.

“Hi, babe,” he said into Mel’s ear, though he was still loud enough that Jeff could hear him. He looked up at Gary. “Hey, Gare.”

“Hey, Ken,” Gary chirped. “Congratulations on the promotion over at Radio Shack.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you a manager now?”

“Yup! Great timing, too, since takingthisone out costs a pretty penny,” Ken said as he nuzzled Mel’s neck, which had her blushing.

Jeff clenched his teeth, a sharp twinge of upset stabbing him in the chest. If only he could make Gary blush like that here. It was obvious to everyone that Ken was enamored with Mel. Meanwhile, it probably wasn’t obvious to even one person that Jeff was falling hard and fast for Gary. While self-loathing coiled in Jeff’s stomach, his eyes fell to Gary’s hand—free and holdable. It seemed so fucking close, but in reality, it was miles—no,solar systems—away.

Solar systems.The thought reminded Jeff of one of the first times he’d ever even heard Gary on the radio, talking about freeze-dried ice cream that was invented by some companyassociated with NASA. Concentrating on the memory, Jeff was surprised that he could recall the little factoids Gary had shared about the universe.

Supposedly, everything was expanding. Galaxies were moving farther apart—swirling masses of stars drifting away from each other over time. Just like his pseudo-relationship with the beautiful man from the radio.

Still staring at Gary’s hand, Jeff’s throat tightened. Because the two of them, they couldn’t even fuck. Hell, couldn’t evenkiss. Couldn’t even hold hands.

And every minute that passed, Gary’s hand seemed to be moving farther and farther away.

“I need some air,” Jeff blurted out, and without waiting for Gary to respond, he spun around and made a beeline toward the front door.

Stepping out onto the front porch, Jeff sucked in a long inhale, enjoying the sharpness of the cold air flooding his lungs. With his exhale, he managed to expel some of his earlier discomfort, but it wasn’t enough. Bending forward, Jeff placed his hands above his knees and took a couple more breaths before the porch floorboards creaked behind him.

“Are you okay?” Gary asked. His niceness made Jeff’s throat tighten again, more upset bubbling up inside of him. “I’m sorry if I messed up somehow.”

“It’s not you,” Jeff said, still resting his weight on his thighs. “I know this isn’t what you want. Whatever the fuck it is we have.”

“What?” Gary came closer. “Jeff, I like you. I’m having fun. I’m okay with us being... whatever we are right now. I like our phone calls.”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit.”

“Come on, Gare. Yes, it is.”

“No, Jeffrey,” Gary said, his voice filled with a tender sincerity. “It’s not.”

Jeff could feel his resolve cracking, the wall he was trying to erect between them crumbling before he’d even finished constructing the thing. Fucking Gary Graham. He was too nice, too cute, too perfect.

“Do you not want to fool around anymore?” Gary asked.

“Can it even be called that?” Jeff asked, though his tone was less harsh now, the ruins of that temporary wall lying in heaps beneath him.

“I think it can,” Gary said.

Jeff took another few breaths. Even though there was part of him thatstillwanted to push Gary back, to keep him away, his heart wasn’t really in it anymore.

“Of course I want it, Gare,” he said. “I feel like shit, though.”

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