Page 68 of Out of the Storm

“Yeah.”

After a few more steps, Gary stopped walking. Jeff stopped too.

“I want you to initiate things from now on,” Gary said. “Or, for a while.”

“Yeah, no problem, Gare.”

“I never want to mess up like that again.”

“I told you, it wasn’t—”

“I know, I know, but you know what I mean, right?”

With a sigh, Jeff said, “Yeah. I know.”

They started walking again, hand in hand, and it wasn’t much longer before they reached the waterfall. It wasn’t a big one—truthfully, it was a bit of a stretch to even call it a waterfall—but it was kind of nice. They stopped together and stoodthere, watching the water from the small stream crash into the pool below. Underneath the treetop canopy, the late-spring heat of the Midwest was tolerable, and the burbling sound of the water helped Jeff feel even more at ease. And although they continued to hold hands, it just wasn’t enough. Jeff wanted more. Heneededmore. More importantly, he needed to be better. For Gary.

Letting go of Gary’s hand, Jeff moved in front of him. Then he reached for both of Gary’s hands, took them, and wrapped himself up in a backward hug.

“You’re okay with this?” Gary asked as Jeff leaned against him.

It was both sweet and infuriating that Gary felt the need to ask about something so small.

“Yeah. I won’t break, Gare.”

Gary nuzzled the side of Jeff’s head and squeezed Jeff a little tighter. “Okay.”

Over the next few minutes, they stood like that, like a real couple, and Jeff’s chest swelled from the rush of both relief and happiness. It was a miracle—well, a pathetic kind of miracle, really—that Gary’s touch was making him feel safe. Ever since Don, no one else’s touch had really felt safe.

So maybe... maybe everything really would be okay between the two of them. Maybe they’d figure things out. Maybe Jeff would get better. Because Gary deserved better.

They continued to stand there, enjoying the sight of the piss-poor excuse for a waterfall, while Jeff snuggled closer to Gary and found the courage to hope.

***

That night, Jeff lay in his bed in the motel, trying to sleep but failing miserably. All afternoon and into the evening, he’d been utterly unable to stop silently obsessing over everything that had happened between him and Gary. Sure, the two of them had been fine the rest of the way to the motel. They’d held hands some more and shared cheese fries for dinner and enjoyed some more of Gary’s shitty music in the car. On the surface, everything seemed to be back to normal.

But Jeff kept mentally beating the shit out of himself.

Rolling to his side, Jeff looked over at Gary sleeping in his own bed, only barely visible from the low light spilling in from the bathroom. Watching Gary’s chest slowly rise and fall with each breath, Jeff kicked himself for not initiating something physical earlier in the evening. One of their mutual masturbation sessions at the very least. He’d been half expecting Gary to break his word and initiate something instead. But that had been a stupid thing to hope for. Gary was a man of his word. And Jeff loved that about him.

Jeff heaved a sigh. Maybe they’d try tomorrow.

He shut his eyes and tried to sleep again. Minutes passed.

Eventually, Jeff opened one eye and whispered, “Gare?”

No response. Gary was really out of it. After a couple more minutes of torturous silence, Jeff climbed out of bed and walked over to Gary’s, shimmying underneath the covers. Roused by the movement, Gary turned to face him.

“Hm?” he mumbled, eyes fluttering open before closing again.

“Hey,” Jeff said in a hushed voice before curling closer.

He waited for Gary to hug him, but somehow, Gary still had the wherewithal to keep his hands to himself. Frustrated, Jeff lifted one of Gary’s arms, hooking it over his own shoulder, and then he wrapped a leg around Gary’s midsection, pressing his stiffening cock to Gary’s thigh.

“I think we forgot our nightly beat-off session,” he said, intentionally shifting his hips forward a little.

Gary mumbled something incoherent, seemingly still teetering on the edge of consciousness.

---