Page 78 of Out of the Storm

Chapter Fourteen

Jeff

On the last night before Jeff had to return to work and Gary had to resume hostingGraham’s Flour HourandTell Me S’more, Mel invited both of them over for a movie night, something Gary said he hadn’t been able to participate in for a long time. Jeff wasn’t too excited about spending their last completely free evening together with Mel and Ken, but he could tell how excited Gary was. And Jeff wanted Gary to be happy.

When they arrived at Mel’s house, Mel answered the door and greeted them with a grin, and Ken called out a very enthusiastic “Hello!” from the kitchen. After Jeff and Gary kicked off their shoes, Jeff walked over to the couch, nervousness twisting inside him. He still felt uneasy with Gary’s friends. Mel and Ken both seemed so... chipper. Gary’s chipper-ness never bothered him, though. He liked it.

They settled on the couch, and as soon as Gary sat next to him, Jeff reached for his hand. The now-familiar touch felt incredible, small though it was, and Gary must have thought the same, because he was suddenly smiling the biggest, silliest smile Jeff had ever seen in his life. And it made him feel wonderful. Somehow, even though he was so messed up, Gary still wanted to be with him.

“You’re something else,” Jeff said, squeezing his hand and smiling back.

Mel chimed in, “Gary is never not expressive.”

“Why waste time pretending not to be happy? Especially when you’rethishappy?” Gary asked. “Now, come on, that seems very silly.”

“Personally, I prefer not to look like the Cheshire cat,” Jeff teased.

Gary laughed. “Jeff, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but the first time I saw you at the mall, I thought you looked a little like a serial killer instead. I’m pretty sure that’s worse.”

Jeff couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Wow, thanks, Gare Bear.”

“No problem,Jeffrey.”

Mel sighed very dramatically. “You two are too cute, you know that?”

“Oh, I know,” Gary said. “Jeff brings most of the cuteness, though. Blame him.”

Jeff kicked Gary’s foot. As Gary kicked him back, Ken came in from the kitchen with popcorn, and for a moment, Jeff’s entire body tensed. Even when he had been with Don, they’d never been affectionate in public. Or even in semipublic. Too many people were still shitty about men who were, as Jeff’s father liked to say, “light in their loafers.” But Gary had reassured him that everyone in his friend circle was cool. And Jeff wanted to trust him.

When Ken’s only reaction to their hand-holding was to smile and shake the popcorn bowl, Jeff’s muscles relaxed a little, and he took a couple of pieces with his free hand. Gary took some too. Seemed as though Gary had been right.

“Can Mel and I have some room too, or have we been banished to the floor?” Ken asked playfully.

Gary shuffled over a little toward Jeff to make room, and then the four of them squished together on the couch to watchCasablanca. It was surprisingly nice to feel like a normal couple for once, and as they held hands on the couch, Jeff letting himselflean up against Gary just a little, he could almost forget about the problems that still plagued him when it came to intimacy.

Partway through the movie, Gary fell asleep, and Jeff slowly let go of his hand so as not to disturb him. Gary always looked cute when he slept—brow furrowed the tiniest bit—and he always made these soft, barely audible snores. Jeff wished they were by themselves so that he could snuggle on Gary’s chest. Not that the movie was bad, but he was kind of tired himself, too. He would have liked a Gary-nap (so far, these naps weren’t as restful as regular naps, since Jeff was still roused whenever Gary moved a certain way). However, he also knew the movie wasn’t too much longer, so he’d make do and just hope that they’d get to go back to Gary’s and cuddle afterward.

A short while later, they ran out of popcorn. Jeff volunteered to be the one to make more, since Mel and Ken looked particularly comfortable snuggled up together on their side of the couch and Gary was still sleeping. Carefully, without waking Gary, he pushed himself up to stand and then picked up the now-empty bowl and headed into the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, Jeff saw a disposable foil-covered pan already waiting for him on the counter. He turned on one of the burners of the electric stove and held the popcorn pan over the coils.

As he stood there, waiting for the sound of the popcorn beginning to pop, Jeff couldn’t help but glance back toward the living room. Even though Gary was only in the other room, only a few feet away, Jeff found himself kind of missing him already—his touch, his smell, his smile. Gary’s touch... it was starting to feel like home. He made Jeff feel safe. Not one hundred percent of the time—not in his half-conscious sleep state, for example—but most of the time, especially when they were simply hanging out together, cuddling close.

“Need a hand?”

Jeff startled from the sound of Mel’s voice, and immediately felt ridiculous. He hated that sudden movements and sounds still caused him to panic sometimes.

“Nah, I’m okay,” he replied as Mel sauntered over toward him.

“Okay.” But instead of leaving, she leaned against the counter and continued to stare until the two of them locked eyes, and then she said, “So, how are things between you and Gary?”

“Uh, fine?”

She nodded thoughtfully for a couple of seconds. Jeff tried to smile.

“Gary’s really special, you know,” she said finally.

“Yeah. I know.”

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