Page 102 of Resilience on Canvas

Our family.Robert smiled a little.

“Hen, you can’t even tell which one of the twins is Thomas and which one is Peter,” he teased through a sob. “And yet yer still callin’ them family?”

“Don’t care which is which. I love ’em both. And I’ll work to support ’em. Because they’re yer blood, Robert. Besides, I’m sure I’ll separate them out in my head soon enough. Ain’t it only one of them who has a freckle on his nose?”

Robert let out an amused huff and wiped tears from his eyes. “Thomas.”

“See, I can remember that, no problem.” Henry took Robert by the sleeve and stood, pulling Robert up with him. “Come on. We’ll make the money we need. In time.”

Heaving a sigh, Robert tried once more to let that sentiment take root in his heart, but the melancholy and hopelessness he felt wouldn’t budge. He was a stubborn man, through and through. Even though Robert wished he could let Henry’s nice-sounding words uplift him, the weight of their broken tomorrow felt too heavy right then.

Hopefully, sometime soon, he’d manage to lift it.

Otherwise, he wasn’t sure how he could ever feel happy again.

Robert caught Henry’s eye and nodded, signaling that they could head back. Afterward, Robert and Henry collected their meager earnings, ignoring the whispers and stares from onlookers, and went back to the city on the same overpriced truck they’d ridden in on.

By the time Robert and Henry returned home, everyone had already eaten supper, which seemed to be the only small mercy they would be granted the whole Goddamn day. Because it meant that they weren’t forced to eat with Henry’s parents. Instead, Joe and Rose sat with them, keeping Robert and Henry company. Neither of them had had luck with finding work in the city, either. Joe offered to work with Robert and Henry in the fields.Despite the fact that it wouldn’t earn much money, Joe told them that it would be better than nothing. Besides that, Robert and Henry could catch a ride with him, which would mean that they wouldn’t need to pay the men with the trucks. Even with the savings, though, eighty cents wouldn’t be enough for the life Robert wanted. And he’d owe Joe for the cost of fuel, too. Even though Joe wouldn’t take Robert’s money right now, Robert would have to pay him back eventually. Hehadto. It was who Robert was.

Or, it was who he had oncethoughthe was. It was who he wanted to be.

Later that night, lying in bed, Robert couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t help but feel like he was losing everything. Everything from the life he wanted with Henry to his Goddamn sense of self.

Defeated and lost and broken, he cried himself to sleep.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Henry

Dayslater,RobertandHenry put the children to bed and then joined Joe in the main room to play some chess. Robert hadn’t had much practice, so him and Henry teamed up, like they had over the last few nights. On previous ones, either Rose or Clara had teamed up with Joe, too, in order to make it “fair,” though Joe would have been fine on his own. But tonight, the two women were seeing a play together in a local theater, courtesy of Joe and Rose’s marathon money, and so, it was only the three men playing while Henry’s parents read in their bedroom.

Sitting with Robert and Joe on the floor while they played chess, Henry was trying to hold on to what felt like his last thread of optimism, though the rope was on the verge of snapping. Hope had cratered beneath him and Robert’s feet, and even though Henry had somehow managed to leap out of the way, the news that their future would be harder to realize than either of them had ever considered had swallowed Robert whole. At first, Henry had remained steadfast in his positivity, Robert’s heartbreak helping him find some kind of courage within himself, one strong enough to keep him from falling right along with Robert. But, oh, it wasbecoming harder to be the sole person who still believed in their future together.

And RobertneededHenry to believe. So, Henry continued to clutch tight to that thread of hope, praying to a God he could barely still believe in that it wouldn’t break.

What a tenuous thing hope was proving to be.

Henry looked up to see Joe finally moving one of the pawns on the board. Before Henry had the chance to offer Robert some help, Robert moved his rook, which Joe then captured. Robert heaved a sigh.

“Robert, uhm, we’re supposed to be playin’ together, remember?” Henry said.

Robert threw up his hands. “Well, I thought that was a fine move, Hen! Christ, I’m still learnin’!”

“Yeah, I know yer still learnin’, which is why I wanted to help?”

Scowling, Robert turned back to the board, not bothering to say nothing to Henry in response. Robert was tired of being helped, that was for sure. Even though he needed it. Gosh, they were only a handful of moves into playing, and Robert was already on his way to losing.

After a half hour or so of Robert playing like Henry’s opinion either wasn’t worth considering or like he was making a specific move to outright spite him, the front door opened. Henry let out a sigh of relief, releasing some of the tension that had built up in his muscles. Lord, was he happy that the women were finally home. Hopefully Rose and Clara would want to tell everyone how the play was, which would be a nice change from watching Robert cuss every time Joe captured one more of his chess pieces.

“I havefantasticnews!” Rose exclaimed as she strode over to where the men were sitting. Clara followed, beaming in her own shy way. “Truly, truly fantastic!”

Joe hopped to his feet, and Rose immediately pulled him in for a kiss. When Joe very clearly tried to break the kiss, Rose tugged him right back in, kissing him even more forcefully, happy excitement radiating off of her like sunshine. Her happiness was bright enough that Henry couldn’t keep himself from smiling, even if he wasn’t even sure what the news was yet.

Finally, she let Joe break their kiss.

Clasping her hands together, she said, “I’m returning to the stage!”

Joe’s eyes flew wide. “What?! Really?!”

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