Page 106 of Resilience on Canvas

He continued to press kisses to Robert’s face, each and every one filled with as much love and sincerity as he had. If only he could make Robert feel how proud he still was of him. Robert was still the strongest and most beautiful soul he’d ever met, no matter what kind of money he was making. Or wasn’t making.

It only took forty or so kisses before Robert cracked a small smile.

“It’ll really make you happy if I say yes to this, huh?” he said.

“Uh-huh.” Henry peppered a few more kisses on Robert’s face for good measure. “Real, real happy, Robert. I want our own room. I want us to keep fightin’ for our future. And I think the two of us havin’ our own little house is the first step. We won’t keep owin’ my parents so much that way.”

“Our own little housewithJoe and Rose, you mean. We’ll owetheminstead.”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Andwe’ll still have to chip in here for housin’ and food and everything.”

“Iknow,but—”

“But we’ll be together, I suppose. Which is something.”

“It’s a big something,” Henry said, hope fluttering in his chest. “At least,Ithink it is.”

Robert turned to face him, and they exchanged a soft kiss.

“Aright,” Robert said through a sigh. “We can live with yer friends if it’ll mean that much to you. But if Clara wants her and the kids to come with us, I’m not sure how we’ll manage to find a house that’ll be big enough for everyone. Not if we want our own room.”

“Let me talk to her,” Henry said. “I’ll see if I can convince her to stay here a while.”

“Yeah, you try that, little wolf.”

Henry nuzzled Robert’s nose. “Ipromisethings’ll work out, Robert. Iknowthey will.”

“I’ll pray for it, Hen, but I’m losin’ hope.”

Henry closed his eyes to block out the pain from hearing those words on Robert’s lips.

“Don’t lose hope, Robert,” Henry whispered. “I want to keep fightin’ for the life we want. Can you promise to keep fightin’ with me? Please?”

Robert exhaled a trembling breath. “I’ll try.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Holding tight to Robert’s promise, Henry captured Robert’s mouth in a kiss.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Robert

Relaxingonthestoopof the new rental home that him and Henry shared with Henry’s friends, Robert took a long pull on his cigarette—the first he’d had since before leaving Guymon. He only managed to relish the warm heat for a moment before his stomach twisted with shame and he exhaled, sending smoke billowing into the cool summer night. With how wrecked his lungs probably were from the Oklahoma storms, Robert knew it wasn’t smart to ruin them more with the cigarettes, but he hadn’t managed to resist. He needed to fuckingfeelsomething, even if that something was only the bit of comfort that came from the warm burn in his lungs.

It had been three weeks since Henry and Robert had moved into a rental home without the rest of the Davis family. Now Robert only saw most of the people he loved on Sundays. Both him and Henry had been staying home from the fields on Sundays to take a break from working. Instead of them earning more money on Sundays, they had been spending it, first in the church collection basket and then while they were with Robert’s family, either on the beach or elsewhere in the city. And Robert knew heoughtto have had stronger feelings of fury or shame or sorrow over the whole thing, but he couldn’t manage it. It was like the fire he’dhad in him since birth had been partially snuffed out by the black blizzard of failure.

With only a few of them embers still left smoldering, Robert was feeling numb.

Robert smoked his cigarette some more, cherishing the tiny blips of barely-there emotions he could still feel, like shame over puffing on the Goddamn thing in the first place and relief that he felt like crap over his terrible habit.

Watching the smoke clouds waft into the sky, Robert heaved a sigh.

He ought to have been steamed up over the fact that him and Henry were only paying six bucks toward the rent instead of half of what the house cost each month, which would have made it ten. But Rose and Joe hadn’t wanted them to “overpay” because they thought they “owed” Robert and Henry for the marathon money. Which seemed like a bunch of horseshit. So, Robert ought to have fought back to pay half of the rent. But he hadn’t.

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