Page 16 of Resilience on Canvas

Robert sighed. “We pet him for a while. I think maybe it was a comfort. I mean, it had to have been, right?”

Heaviness settled over Henry’s heart. He hadn’t never heard that kind of softness in Robert’s voice before. It was... nice. Real nice.

“I think it was,” Henry confirmed, keeping his voice tender.

Robert shifted positions again, and then the two of them sat in silence for a while. Henry stared off into nothingness, torn between wishing that the storm would pass and hoping that it would never end. He never thought he’d spend so much time with Robert. For years, he had been contented with seeing Robert for a few minutes in the store every once in a while. Of course, Henry had seen Robert in church plenty, too, but Robert and his family liked to sit in the back of the nave while Henry’s family sat up front, and so, it had been kind of hard for Henry to admire Robert too much that way, at least for more than a couple of seconds here and there.

Eventually, Robert moved some more. He must have spread his legs wide because one of his knees bumped Henry’s, and that tiny bit of contact sent a surge of longing zipping through Henry’s veins so hot and fast that, had he been a lightbulb, it would have probably resulted in enough wattage to light up the entirety of Oklahoma.

“Sorry,” Robert said. “I’m worried about my family. It has me feelin’ like there’s bugs crawling on me. I ain’t sure if you know this, but I’m responsible for everyone. Not my pop. He’s... well, he’s been a real bastard since my ma passed. Not that he was ever the kindest person before, but it’s even worse now. And so, I’m the one who takes care of things. Which is why I wanted to marry Clara off. See, I wanted to make sure she found someoneelsewho would take care of her. Someone with more money than the little we have. Sometimes we barely even have enough food for all of us. And then I’m stuck eatin’ a couple of sorry bites of salad for supper.”

Robert went quiet. After a moment, he moved some more, enough to cause the wooden frame of the couch to make a low whining sound. Goodness, the piece of furniture must have been old as sin.

Seconds passed, and then Robert said, “Dammit, I’m sayin’ too much. I think the dust particles must be muddlin’ my brain. Don’t pay me no mind, Hen.”

“It’s okay. I like it. Not, uhm, what you’re sayin’, really, because that sounds... well, it sounds like things are real hard for you, but I like listenin’ to you.” Henry’s heart was still feeling fluttery, but now it was heavy, too. He ought to help Robert somehow. Maybe Robert or Clara could work in the store. Earn some more money for their family. Henry could take on fewer shifts himself. It wasn’t like he and his family needed the money, really. Not in the same way. “Say, what if you took up workin’ in the store sometimes? Couple times a week or somethin’?”

“Mr. Sherwood needs more help?” Robert asked. “I can’t remember seeing no advertisements in the Sunday paper.”

“Oh, well, he only realized it yesterday,” Henry said. It was a miracle how easily the lie had come to him. He’d have to talk to his folks to make this happen. And his uncle, too, of course. Maybe he could propose it as a way to repay the Davis family for backing out of the wedding. “Do you want me to tell him that yer interested?”

Robert was silent for a few seconds, probably contemplating the offer.

“Yeah, Hen, that’d be nice,” Robert said, wonderment in his voice. “Thank you.”

The sweetness in Robert’s tone had Henry swooning. Gosh, it might have been the loveliest sound in the entire world. Henry would have loved to tell Robert how much he liked him right then. Just blurt it out. Because now Henry knew why it was called acrush. He was feeling such a heavy fondness for Robert that he was finding it hard to breathe.

Henry was still struggling to take a proper breath when Robert said, “Really, Hen. Thanks. Yer one in a million.”

One in a million.Lord Almighty, that was probably the best compliment Henry had ever received. Seconds passed while Henry’s heart hammered and fluttered in his chest, the heavy weight of his long-held crush still so enormous that Henry had trouble figuring out how to be.

Before Henry could find his voice, there were two small thuds, followed by some more movement. Robert’s feet bumped into the side of Henry’s thigh. Henry realized that the thuds had been from Robert’s shoes.

“I think I’ll try to nap,” Robert said. “Gotta pass the time somehow.”

Henry’s heart stuttered. Ain’t no way he’d be able to sleep with Robert right next to him like this, especially not with Robert’s toes touching him.

“Yeah, I ought to try, too,” Henry said, though he knew he wouldn’t.

Only seconds later, Robert started snoring. Henry couldn’t help but smile. Because maybethatwas the loveliest sound in the world instead.

Despite knowing that he’d never relax enough to sleep, Henry still closed his eyes, and then he let his mind wander. He wished so much that the world wasn’t what it was, that he could confess his feelings to the man beside him, even if those feelings weren’t returned.

After a while, Robert’s feet found their way atop Henry’s thighs.

And Henry let his hands fall on top of them.

Blanketed in the blackness of the storm, Henry found the courage to pretend that there was something between them. How wonderful it was to be sitting with Robert like this, to be physically close with a man, and to let himself imagine what it would be like for them to be together.

And so, even though God-knows-how-many people were outside there suffocating in the storm, Henry was left feeling like he could finally breathe.

Chapter Five

Robert

WhenRobertwoke,hismind was foggy, his eyelids were heavy, and there was a stiffness in his muscles that seemed to suggest he must have been sleeping for a long time. Somehow, he felt both well restedandexhausted. What a thing that was. When Robert tried to stretch, he noticed that his legs had crept up onto Henry’s lap while he’d been out.

Shit.

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