Page 41 of Resilience on Canvas

“I...” Robert’s chest tightened. “I can’t. I need to be here for Clara and the kids. When my pop is like this, he can be a real bastard.”

“Yeah, uhm, I can see that. But, then, maybe everyone else can come, too? My folks won’t mind them bein’ there for a while. We can have supper together, maybe.”

“Ah, I can’t put that on yer folks.”

“Yer not.I’mthe one puttin’ it on them. And they won’t mind. I promise.”

Robert blew out a breath, puffing out his cheeks. He really wanted to spend more time with Henry. And it’d probably be better for Clara and the kids if they had a bit more time away from Pop, especially because he’d probably be a piece of work when he woke. Robert could put a plate of food together for him for later. He’d be mad, but Robert could handle his fury. He had been takin’ the brunt of Raymond Davis’s wrath for most of his life. Even before his mother’s passing, his father hadn’t exactly been a nice man, surely not to his kids. And Robert had never not taken on the responsibility of protecting everyone, even his mother, from his father’s harsh words and even harsher physical blows. Maybe the best way to protect everyone right now was to let them spend some time with the Sherwoods.

Or was he only trying to convince himself of that because of his Goddamn crush?

“Please?” Henry said, his big, stupid puppy eyes shining with so much tenderness Robert could barely even stand to keep looking at him.

“Alright,” Robert relented, and the moment he made his choice, a little tremor of excitement rolled through his body, sending his heart a-flutter.

Perhaps Henry had sensed some of that excitement. Because the son of a bitch reached for Robert’s hand. With a barely-there shake of his head, Robert pulled back.

Immediately, Henry retracted his hand and stuffed it into his pocket.

“Sorry, Robert, I—”

“Henry.” Robert shook his head once more. “Not now.”

Henry seemed to crumple in on himself, and Robert swore he could feel the poor man’s heart crack. But Robert still hadn’t figured out what they could be.

“Let’s pack up them carrots,” Robert said, nodding toward the kitchen. “We’ll finish the marmalade together at your place. It’ll be fun. I still want to teach you how to make it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

Of course Robert still wanted them to make marmalade together.

But, Goddammit, he wanted so many other things, too.

Chapter Eleven

Robert

OfcourseRobert’sGoddamncar wouldn’t start.

So, rather than drive, Robert and Henry were forced to walk into town together to find Clara and the kids. While the sky was clearer than it had been for a while, there were still occasional bursts of wind that picked up flecks of topsoil, flinging the particles this way and that, sometimes violently enough that being hit with them felt like being poked with hundreds of tiny needles. And these particles meant that there was a lot of static electricity, which could short out the cars, prevent them from starting. At least, that was what Henry had told him. Even with the little knowledge that Robert had about things like electricity, this seemed to make some sense. Smart man, that Henry Sherwood.

When they reached the center of town, they spotted Clara and the children in Bob Sherwood’s store, munching on some popcorn while they walked the aisles. Well, Clara and May were walking like normal people. Thomas and Peter were tossing pieces of popcorn into each other’s mouths every couple of steps. May probably would have wanted in on the fun, too, only she was wearing a pair of shoes that were too small, and so, her feet were probably hurting too much to try to catch the popcorn like her brothers.Even through the large store windows, Robert could see she and Clara were walking slower than snails.

Robert heaved a sigh. He needed it to be Friday so he could buy May a new pair of shoes. Robert had been hoping to wait ’til the following month, when he had planned on traveling to one of the nearby bigger cities so he could sell his mother’s earrings first, but, well, thanks to that son of a bitch Raymond Davis who had sold them for booze, there weren’t no earrings to sell. Robert would have to eat smaller portions of food for a little while so he could make up the money he’d be spending on the shoes instead.

As soon as Robert and Henry walked in the store, the twins ran to Robert wearing huge smiles. Clara and May followed. Over the next few minutes, Robert listened to Thomas and Peter talk about the popcorn, both boys rambling on about how tasty it was and how it had been freshly popped, and then May chimed in to echo most of what they’d said. May kept coughing while she talked, which was a little unsettling, though Robert tried to tell himself that it was only because she was talking so fast and because she had walked such a long way from school. Thomas wanted to save some popcorn so they could have it with milk, which was a treat the family enjoyed from time to time, but Robert had a feeling that their two remaining cows probably weren’t producing milk no more. Their babies had been sold off a while back, and there was barely enough food to keep them poor bovines upright. Robert hadn’t even tried to milk them lately. Maybe instead, he could try to convince Bob Sherwood to spare a bottle of the milk he had in the store refrigerator the following week. And then Robert could purchase a couple of cents worth of popcorn as a surprise for everybody.

After the children had nearly talked Robert’s ear off, he was finally able to propose the plan for everyone to head over to Henry’s house. Thankfully, Clara was fine with spending some time withthe Sherwoods. Since Henry’s family lived fairly close to the store, the walk wouldn’t be too bad either, even for May.

Fifteen minutes later, they reached Henry’s house. Henry asked that everyone stay outside while he explained the situation to his parents. It was only a short wait until Henry’s mother came out to the porch and welcomed everyone into her home.

The visit wasn’t immediately as awkward as Robert expected. The children quickly settled in to play checkers in the front room while Henry’s father sat nearby, listening to music from the phonograph. May’s coughing took a while to let up, but thank the Lord, it became better once she was busy whooping Peter’s butt in checkers. Once Robert was feeling confident that the children were happy, he and Henry went into the kitchen to finish making the marmalade. Clara was there cooking some stew with Henry’s mother.

Soon enough, supper was ready. Everyone congregated around the long dining table that the Sherwoods had in a room off of the kitchen. Robert had sat there once before, back when he had come to propose his plan for Henry to marry Clara to Henry’s parents. At the time, Robert had been brimming with optimism, confident that he was setting Clara up for a happy and secure future (while helping himself, too, since he would no longer be responsible for Clara’s meals and clothes and things). Back then, seeing the fine cherry-brown table, which was nicer than every other piece of furniture Robert had ever seen in his life, had made Robert feel hopeful and happy. But now, Robert was left feeling the exact opposite. Because he knew that he had not only failed to find Clara someone to marry but he had failed everyone else in his family too. Forget having a nice table. He couldn’t even find enough food for his family to eat.

While everyone enjoyed their stew, Robert sat stiffly and watched the little pieces of cooked vegetables float around in the broth.

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