Page 44 of Resilience on Canvas

“Uhm . . .”

Gosh, he was cute. Robert had to risk it. Hehadto.

Heart hammering, Robert released Henry’s hand and then reclined back. Henry, the sweet thing that he was, opened and closed his newly freed hand a few times, like he was surprised by the feel of it. Smiling to himself, Robert took out a cigarette from his tin—his last one—and lit it. Henry was still sitting up, seemingly unsure of himself, when Robert finished lighting it. He transferredthe cigarette to his right hand and then reached out and snatched Henry’s hand with his left, concentrating on keeping himself from either smiling too much or trembling from nervousness. God, he hadn’t never thought he could be so happy but so terrified at the same time.

Slowly, Henry reclined back too, and the two looked up at the sky.

But, hell, the stars weren’t even close to as beautiful as Henry was.

“Thanks for stayin’ here so late, Hen,” Robert said before taking a puff of his cigarette. Blowing out the smoke helped calm him a little, enough to try to broach the topic he couldn’t let Henry bring up earlier. “I like bein’ with you. Hell, I would be with you all the time if I could.”

“Yeah, me too, Robert.”

Henry squeezed Robert’s hand, and Robert squeezed back.

“We can’t tell no one about whatever this is,” Robert said, lifting their linked hands. He smoked a little more, trying to find the words. “Can’t have people shunnin’ me or... or shunnin’ my family, neither. If people stopped buyin’ our pitiful little vegetable hauls or if I lost my shifts in the store, I might as well start shovelin’ our graves. Save the town the trouble. We can be buried right here on our fuckin’ failure of a farm.”

Henry shifted uncomfortably.

“Do you think people can see us up here?”

“Nah, my neighbors are asleep by now. And their farm is pretty far.” Robert pointed with his hand that was holding the cigarette over toward the closest farmhouse. “That house there is the closest, and still, it’s a ways away.” He lulled his head to the side. “No one can see that we’re holdin’ hands, Hen. Don’t worry.”

Henry smiled a little. Robert squeezed his hand again. Gosh, it felt so right for them to be linked like this. It was a perfect fit, likethey were made for each other. Forget what the church said, God had created Henry Sherwood especially for him.

Robert took a puff of his cigarette and held it out toward Henry.

“Last chance,” Robert said. “I won’t be buyin’ no more tobacco. Can’t afford it. And this here is my last cigarette.”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll... I’ll try some,” Henry said, his voice wavering as he took it.

He brought the cigarette to his lips. Not two seconds later, Henry, sweet little lamb that he was, started sputtering and coughing. He sat up and handed the cigarette back to Robert, who snuffed it out on the roof. Henry continued to cough. Releasing Henry’s hand, Robert sat up with him and began patting Henry’s back.

“Christ, Hen, I’m sorry,” he said, though he couldn’t help but laugh a little.

After a few more seconds, Henry stopped coughing. Groaning, he put his head in his hands.

“Gosh, I must seem pathetic.”

“Nah, not pathetic. Innocent. In a sweet kind of way.”

“Gee, thanks,” Henry mumbled, removing his hands, and then his mouth set into a frown. He wouldn’t even meet Robert’s eyes.

Robert took Henry’s hand again, hoping he could make Henry’s smile come back.

“Don’t be like that,” Robert said. “Remember what I said earlier? I’m impressed by you, Henry Sherwood. Yer smart and kind, and you have this... this incredible sweetness about you. And youknowhow much I like sweet things.”

Henry’s lips curled into a smile. After a moment, Henry looked up from his shoes, and he and Robert locked eyes. They sat there, staring at each other, and Robert’s stomach tumbled again as everything else fell away. Right then and there, every single one ofRobert’s worries and sorrows ceased to exist. It was like the two of them were the only people left in the whole entire world.

Son of a bitch, this was it. Robert was ready to kiss Henry. He was ready to kiss the sweet puppy-man he had started falling for. The lovable little lamb with a secret bit of wolf in him. Holy hell. Heart thudding wildly, Robert inched his face closer.

“Robert!” Clara cried out from below, her voice wrought with panic.

Goddamn son of a bitch. Now what?

“Yeah?” he shouted back.

“Come back inside, please! There’s something wrong with Pop!”

---