Page 55 of Resilience on Canvas

In a flash, every ounce of rage and shame and want that Robert had been keeping contained inside him flared up, the twisted swell of emotions causing Robert’s heart to race. Without a word, Robert took Henry by the collar and pulled him outside.

Stumbling forward, Henry said, “Robert, I... I’m sorry. But Ihadto—”

“Goddammit, Hen, I’m so mad right now I can barely even think,” Robert hissed. Quickly, he reached out and shut the door, one hand still clutching tight to Henry’s shirt collar. Yanking Henry close, Robert turned to him and searched Henry’s worried eyes, while his own were wide and wild. “What the hell is wrong with you? Paying for the... the whole of everything for my pop? That wasmyresponsibility.”

“I couldn’t leave him there, rotting like that. And you said yerself that he ought to have a casket, that he was still yer blood and such. I mean, it wouldn’t be right to... to toss him in a hole without a proper burial.Youwere the one to make me realize that back in the store. Gosh, Robert, I’ve told you before that I want to help you. I wasn’t spendin’ that money on nothin’ important.”

Robert pulled on Henry’s collar—one fierce tug—and then, through clenched teeth, he snarled, “And your parents? What abouttheirmoney?”

Henry’s eyes went large and pleading, and, Christ, he was so Goddamn cute. Robert found his fury faltering a little.

“I’ll pay ’em back,” Henry said. “I promise.”

Robert huffed, though there was less strength behind his upset than there had been before.

“Great, so then I’ll oweyoumore money instead,” he said bitterly. “What makes you think that’s better?”

“Well... uhm...” Henry’s face reddened a little, and he started chewing on his bottom lip—his plump, pink bottom lip which, even through the haze of upset, Robert could see looked so Goddamn kissable. “Because it’s me, you know? Me and you? And I thought... well, I thought we were... something.”

Henry’s eyes fell to the wooden floorboards, and the last bits of Robert’s fury took off with the next light breeze. He released Henry’s shirt.

“Yeah, we are,” Robert sighed.

“Still?” Henry said.

“Still,” Robert confirmed.

Whatever had started between the two of them couldn’t be broken so easily. Although Robert still wished Henry hadn’t paid for the funeral himself like that.

“But, Hen, what you did...” Robert raked a hand through his hair. He wanted to say something biting. Something mean.Something to make Henry realize how Goddamn inadequate he had made Robert feel. But Henry’s sweet face and kissable lips and puppy eyes had snuffed out too much of Robert’s fire. Growling, Robert said, “Goddammit, I’m supposed to be mad at you!”

Henry huffed a soft laugh. He looked up at Robert through his lashes, and one corner of his mouth ticked up to form a barely-there half smile that made Robert’s stomach flutter in the most infuriating way.

“We can pretend that yer mad?” Henry suggested. “If that helps.”

Robert snorted. “Shut up, Henry.”

“I mean it. I’ll even let you hit me.”

Robert searched Henry’s beautiful brown eyes. Lord, there wasn’t the tiniest bit of insincerity in them. There was something else there, though. Something sinful and lovely.

“Don’t tempt me.” Robert took Henry by the shirt collar and pulled him close. Then, in a whispered voice, he said, “Because if I hit you, then I’ll need to make it better. And Iknowneither of us is ready for that right now.”

Henry’s face flushed. He exhaled a shaky breath. Robert leaned in and touched their foreheads together.

“Was that too much?” Robert asked. “Probably, right?” He made a sound in between a hum and a laugh. “I know we need to be careful, but honest to God, I can’t help myself when yer close to me like this.”

Henry chuckled, his little laughter barely loud enough for Robert to even hear.

“Uhm, well, yer the one who keeps pullin’ me close.”

“I know,” Robert said. And he knew, too, that he ought to pull back right now. But he wanted to savor their forbidden closeness for a moment longer. “God, I like you, Hen.”

Henry shifted his position, tilting his head so that their noses bumped together. “I like you, too, Robert. I like you so much. I’m sorry I went behind yer back like that.”

“I know you are.”

“God, I thought you might kill me for it.”

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