Page 57 of Resilience on Canvas

“Robert, we were thinkin’ that maybe y’all should stay here for a while. At least through tomorrow night. We could keep the little ones occupied before the funeral. I know how hard it can be to return to your house once someone you love passes away. A couple of nights of reprieve might be helpful for everyone.”

“Ah, we couldn’t impose like that,” Robert said.

“We insist. Besides, I love having the children here. And Clara, of course.”

“Well . . .”

Robert looked over at Henry who merely shrugged. It seemed like this wasn’t part of Henry’s plan, but the man wasn’t objecting. Robert pursed his lips as he thought over the offer. Probably the kids were better off here. Eating proper meals. Sleeping in whathadto be bigger, nicer beds. It meant more time with Henry. But it meant imposing on Henry’s parents, too. Robert wasn’t fond of that notion, but he had to do what was best for his family.

“Alright, sure, we can stay.”

Robert would have to head back home in the morning to find some church clothes for everyone. Something they could wear for the funeral. And then, once their pop was buried, Robert would have to tell Clara they were losing the farm.

Lord help him. What a month it had been.

Chapter Fifteen

Robert

RaymondDaviswasfinallyin the ground. Truthfully, the world was probably better for it. Walking away from the burial plot he had selected near the barn, Robert untensed his muscles for what felt like the first time in forever. Henry came up behind him and clapped Robert on the shoulder as he passed. Earlier that morning, Henry had offered for him and his parents to take the children back to their house so Robert could talk to Clara in private. Even though part of Robert still wished that him and Henry could talk to her together, maybe it was better this way. Because Clara wouldn’t feel no need to put on a show for her new friend if it was only her and Robert. She would be free to scream or cry or whatever she needed when she found out that their family was losing the farm. Clara could fall to pieces. And Robert would be there to pick them up.

Robert held his breath as he and Clara walked into the house together. Death seemed to be hovering like a specter in the shadows. Ghosts of memories—some bad, some not—were haunting every corner of the main room. It smelled faintly like cleaning solution, but the stench of their father’s passing lingered beneath it. Robert wrinkled his nose. Heading into what had beentheir parents’ bedroom—the one Henry had cleaned for them not twenty-four hours before—Clara visibly shuddered. Robert knew, then, that she could feel the reaper’s presence too. He let out a breath and shoved his hands into his pockets.

Clara touched her fingertips to the wooden footboard post and said, “It’ll be strange to come back here with the kids soon. I suppose it’ll be nice that one of us won’t have to keep sharin’ our bedroom since this one’ll be free now, but...” She shook her head. “I can still feel him here somehow.”

“I know. Me too.” Robert sat on the edge of the mattress. Its springs creaked beneath his weight. “I felt that way when Ma passed for a while. But it faded. With time.”

Robert cringed as the words left his mouth.Time.Time that they wouldn’t have. The way the house was now—its haunted presence included—that was the way it would stay for them in their memories. Unless he could figure out how to make every one of them missed loan payments. Even then...

Could he stand to keep living here? Coming back home now had colored his perception of it. It was coloring his thoughts of the future, too. After watchingtwoof his parents succumb to illness within these walls, could Robert really continue on here? On the failing farm?

Even if Robert somehow found the money for them to stay, part of him... part of him wasn’t sure he wanted to.

Still, he had to tell Clara what the bank had told him.

Keeping his eyes fixed on the floor, Robert said, “Clara, I have to tell you somethin’. I think you ought to sit for it.”

“Oh. Alright. Uhm.” Clara sat beside him and immediately began twirling a lock of her hair. “What is it?”

Robert clenched his teeth as a tightness formed in his chest.

“Pop... he took out a loan from the bank some time back. When our family bought that extra land for the wheat crops,remember?” he asked. Clara nodded. “Well, he took out the money to pay for it by offerin’ up the farm as collateral or somethin’. He must have kept some money aside, too, that we eventually bought the tractor with. So, that’s what we’ve been payin’ back. When Pop took the mortgage payments to the bank, he was tryin’ to pay back the loan for the land, too. But before he passed, hestopped payin’.” Robert curled one of his hands into a fist and struck the mattress between them. “That Goddamn son of a bitch ruined everything. Yesterday, I went to the bank, and they... they told me that there ain’t no money in the whole farm now. Not only that, but... but we’re losin’ it, Clara. We’re losin’ the farm if I can’t make up the payments he missed.”

Clara’s hands flew to her mouth, and the little knotted lock of hair fell to her chest, the strands coming to rest near her heart. She stilled, her eyes welling with tears.

After a moment, Robert mustered the strength to pry her hands from her face. He found his own eyes tearing from the sight of her trembling bottom lip.

“Oh, Lord, what’ll happen to us?” she eked out.

Tears tumbled from her eyes.

“Don’t cry,” he said, the evenness in his voice wavering the tiniest bit. “I promise you, I’ll think of somethin’. I talked to Henry, and... Clara Marie, I promise we’ll fix this.”

“We? Robert, I can’t fix none of this.”

“No, I meant... I meant me and Henry.” Robert scooched closer. “Hen’s a smart man, Clara. He was the one who sent me to the bank in the first place when I was tryin’ to come up with the money for the funeral. I know that turned out not to be so helpful since they wouldn’t lend me no money, but my point is that me and him, we’ll fix this. Together. Iknowwe will.”

Me and Henry.Christ, what was Clara thinking now? Could she somehow sense that there was something between the two of them? Something romantic?

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