Page 59 of Resilience on Canvas

Clara lay her head on his shoulder. He turned and kissed it.

After a moment, he asked, “How did you know?”

“I’ve never seen you look at no one else like that before,” she said. “And the way you’ve been wanting to spend so much time with him, I knew it couldn’t be friendship.”

Robert bristled a little.

“Why couldn’t it have been friendship?” he scoffed. “I’m notthatbig of a recluse, am I?”

Clara laughed softly. “You are. And, Robert, you wanted to cook pancakes for the man.”

Son of a bitch, she had seen right through him.

Robert started to laugh, too. “Yeah, I suppose that’s true.”

Soon, their light laughter faded, and then that eerie and solemn silence was back.

Letting out a sigh, Robert said, “I really will figure out how to fix this.”

“I know,” she said. “You’ve never not taken care of us.”

Resting his head on top of Clara’s, Robert prayed for that to stay true.

Chapter Sixteen

Henry

Ithadbeentwenty-threeand a half hours since Raymond Davis’s funeral, and Henry still hadn’t worked out how to tell Robert that his family was moving to California. Or that he’d come to the conclusion that Robert and his family ought to come, too. Henry couldn’t ignore the fact that there was no future for none of them in Guymon no more. Henry had finally internalized this realization the previous evening, when Robert had hinted at not wanting to stay in that house of his. Which meant maybe there was a chance foreveryoneto start over somewhere else. Somewhere like California.

But leaving Guymon together would mean that Robert would be even more beholden to Henry’s family for the travel expenses. Henry’s parents were taking a train to the West Coast in only a couple of weeks. When they had broken the news of their plan to Henry before Raymond’s funeral, Henry had inquired about the cost of the train tickets, and oh, him and Robert wouldn’t never make enough at the store to pay for Robert’s family in time. But if Henry stayed behind in Oklahoma with Robert, where would they live once the bank took Robert’s farm?

At first, Henry had the thought that maybe Robert and his family could travel by car. And Henry could come with them. Henry had heard of a lot of other families in Guymon leaving that way—packing everything up and loading their belongings into their vehicles—and he figured it would make the most sense for everybody.

But then he remembered poor May, who was coughing a whole heck of a lot nowadays. Even when she’d been staying in the house most of the time. Her poor little lungs. Henry couldn’t imagine what would happen if they somehow had car trouble on the way, necessitating that they spend a whole bunch of hours outside. It wasn’t worth chancing.

Good Lord, everything was changing so fast, and there were so many things for Henry to consider when trying to work out a plan. He knew his parents still expected him to come with them. But he had promised himself that he wouldn’t leave Robert. Probably his parents would welcome the Davis family to come with them, especially once they caught wind of the fact that Robert’s family would soon lose their home, but Robert...

Oh God, it would break him to owe Henry’s family for both the moveandthe funeral.

And so, Henry had kept this bit of life-changing news a secret. Now the secret was festering in his mind, its black tendrils feasting on his conscience like them creepy crawly little bugs he had seen on Raymond’s body, eating him up from the inside out.

Henry was so torn up over it that he hadn’t even taken Robert up on his offer for the two of them to go on a walk by themselves the previous evening. When Henry had seen the look in Robert’s eyes—wicked and playful and filled withwant—he had knownexactlywhat Robert had been hoping might happen if the two of them were to wander off to be by themselves, maybe find their way to the shed or somewhere else with privacy. And Henry couldn’tbring himself to be with Robert like that right now, not when he was keeping something from him like this. Not when he hadn’t yet figured out how to fix everything so that Robert and his family could come to California too.

Thankfully, Henry’s flimsy excuse of being too exhausted had placated his friend well enough. And then, in the morning, Robert had left for church with his family. Henry’s parents hadn’t been too happy that Henry had insisted on staying home, but they hadn’t forced him to come, neither. So, for now, Henry and his secret were safe. But Sweet Virgin Mary, Robert would surely want to see him later, and then... oh, that would be it! Henry knew himself. He knew that the moment Robert moved to kiss him, the secret would spill out of him like water flowing from a faucet.

If only he could figure out how to bring Robert’s family to California without having to beg his parents for the money. Because that would solve everything. Robert and his family could look forward to their future in the state that many had come to think of as the Promised Land. Out there on the coast, surely the two of them could find some work. Together, they could take care of Robert’s family. Everyone could live together, too. How magical it would be!

Anxious for a solution, Henry thought he might pick Joe’s and Rose’s brains for a while. Both of them were smart people. And social. Sometimes they knew of opportunities that plumb near no one else knew of, simply because they talked everyone’s ears off every chance they had. It was possible that they’d know of someone who was selling their train tickets for cheap. Or maybe they’d have a suggestion for some kind of medication that May could take to help heal her lungs. Henry needed to trysomething.

Since Henry’s parents had taken the car to church, Henry needed to walk over to Joe and Rose’s house. Most likely, they’d be in church, too, but Henry could wait for them on the porch. It wasbetter than staying home by himself, studying the wallpaper and counting the minutes he had left before he’d have to tell Robert that he thought they all ought to start over in California.

On the way through town, Henry checked every store window he passed for flyers in case someone was looking for extra help. Every cent him or Robert could make might help them reach California. But, of course, there weren’t no signs like that. Folks who needed to hire someone, even for something relatively small, probably had a list of interested parties that was over a mile long.

After leaving the town center, Henry took one of the unpaved roads to the farms in Guymon that were farthest east, where Joe and Rose’s home was. Along the way, he kicked up puffs of parched soil with his feet and watched each of the little clouds slowly fade as he walked past. Gosh, he couldn’t walk nowhere without being confronted with how badly their land was hurtin’. Whether he was looking out at the stretches of farmland—land that used to be prosperous and profitable—or whether he was staring at his shoes expecting to see earth packed flat to make a path for cars but seeing a bunch of powdery topsoil instead, the fact that Oklahoma wasn’t nothing like it used to be was never far from Henry’s mind.

After walking for a mile or so, Henry came to Joe and Rose’s house. He was surprised to see their car still parked there. Worry prickled at Henry’s insides, and he removed the cloth mask from his face as he approached. Rose and Joe never missed an opportunity to socialize, even if the opportunity happened to be at church.

Henry hurried to the porch and rapped a series of furious knocks on the front door. Only moments later, Joe answered wearing ahugesmile. Excitement was radiating off of him so fiercely Henry could feel it too. He found himself smiling back before they even said hello.

---