Page 63 of Resilience on Canvas

It was barely loud enough for Robert to hear, but still, Robert couldn’t miss the pain in Henry’s voice. Robert winced from the sudden sharp tug in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to hold his little wolf and to heal the hurt that Henrywas feeling.

“Go ahead and enter that dance competition or whatever it is,” his father said, his tone somehow both weary and biting at once.“I can’t even look at you right now.”

Henry’s father came back and skulked through the living room, his mouth a hard line. Not once did he look in Robert’s direction. After a moment, Henry appeared in the doorway, his face long and sad and tired, his eyes fixed on his shoes. Robert hopped to his feet and rushed to him.

“I’m sorry, Robert,” Henry said softly. “I meant to tell you that my folks were movin’, but I wanted to find the money to bring you and yer family with us first. I thought maybe that would be easier for you if I paid my parents back for the funeral like I said I would. And you wouldn’t really have to feel like you owed me, then. Because it’s you and me, you know?” He paused to inhale a trembling breath, and it took everything Robert had not to wrap his arms around him. “I thought we could put the extra from the winnings toward the train fare. It wouldn’t even be enough for everyone, but it would cover most of it. And I was hopin’ we could find the rest together after.” When Henry finally lifted his chin, Robert saw that his eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. “Gosh, what a stupid plan that was. I know yer probably upset with me for keeping this from you. I’m never not messin’ up somehow.”

Any other time, Robert would have wanted to scold Henry, to tell Henry that he took care of his family his own self. Goddammit, part of himstillwanted to. Because he was feeling like he was losing himself. Like he was losing the person—theprovider—he wanted to be. But...

Seeing the pain in Henry’s beautiful brown eyes, it was enough to shatter every bit of his stubborn pride.

“No, Hen, it was a fine idea,” Robert said, trying his best to make his voice warm. He reached out to lay his hands on Henry’s shoulders and offered what he hoped would be a comforting squeeze. “Do you still want to try it?”

“Try to win the money, you mean?” Henry asked, one of his eyebrows ticking up.

With a shrug, Robert said, “I mean, yer father said you could go, right? So, go.”

Henry’s mouth curled into a tentative looking smile. “Yeah?”

Robert would have preferred to be the one to take care of his family—to pay their train fare and pay Henry’s folks back for the funeral—but he could feel in his bones how badly Henry needed this.

“Yeah,” Robert replied, smiling back. “Can I come, too? Can I watch you win the money?”

“Really?” Henry asked, his voice cracking.

Christ, Henry was cute. He was the biggest Goddamn sweetheart that Robert had ever met. How had Robert thought that Henry would have ever left him behind?

Lowering his voice to the faintest whisper, Robert replied, “Yeah, little wolf. Of course.”

Henry’s tentative smile blossomed into the biggest, most beautiful one that Robert had ever seen. He bounced up onto the balls of his feet—once, twice—and, God, it was so cute. Robert snort-chuckled in response.

Holy hell, he was one lucky man to have found Henry Sherwood.

“Do you want to tell Clara, then? She’ll have to watch the kids while you’re gone.”

Robert chuckled once more. “Yeah, I’ll tell her. I’ll meet you outside.”

After one more silly, endearing bounce, Henry hurried off, and Robert stayed fixed to the spot for a moment, smiling to himself. Him and Henry, they had really become something, hadn’t they?Damn, they hadn’t even kissed yet, but somehow, that didn’t seem to matter.

Because the two of them, they were meant to be.

Not even bothering to temper his lovesick smile, Robert left for the kitchen, thoughts of sunshine and the ocean and a future with his perfect person swirling in his mind.

***

Hours later, Robert, Henry, Joe, Rose, and Rose’s cousin Audrey were closing in on Alva, Oklahoma. Luckily, Clara hadn’t seemed to mind that Robert would be away for a little while. She could tend to their little vegetable plot herself without issue and could see the children to school easily enough since Robert was leaving the car behind in Guymon. Not that he’d had much of a choice in that matter. He wouldn’t have been able to afford the fuel to Alva on his own. It was lucky that Joe and Rose hadn’t minded him coming with them.

On the way, Robert spent most of the ride lost in thought. And maybe a little lost in jealousy too. For the most part, Robert could let his mind wander to him and Henry’s future life in California. He hadn’t never been to California, but he imagined it’d be lush with vegetation in comparison to the Oklahoma panhandle. It was easy to become lost in fantasies of him and Henry starting their own farm or something.

Well, it was easy enoughmostof the time. Except for the minutes of the ride when Henry and Audrey were having a conversation. Once the two of them started chatting, Robert had trouble staying focused on the future that the two of them might haveon the coast. In fact, he couldn’t think of nothing except that Henry and Audrey would soon be hanging on each other—really, truly, hanging on each other—for hours and hours while they danced. Robert had seen some of them photographs of these kinds of marathons in the newspaper from time to time. Always, it seemed that the final contestants had become so exhausted from the constant movement that they ended up clinging to each other for support. Son of a bitch,heought to be the one cuddling up on Henry soon. Exhausted and sweaty and—

Letting out a huff, Robert squirmed in his seat and adjusted his pants. Christ on a cross, him and Henry hadn’t even found the privacy to kiss each other yet, but soon Robert would have to watch his man swaying his hips to some music with a beautiful girl. Didn’t matter that she was only seventeen. Didn’t matter that she was most likely not a threat to what him and Henry had. Robert’s blood was still boiling anyway. All Robert could hope for was that every other contestant would succumb to exhaustion before he would have to bear witness totoo muchupright cuddling between them two.

Once they arrived in Alva, they had to locate the church where the contest was being held, which was easy enough, thanks to the huge cross out front and the signs on the lawn for the marathon. Other than the cross on the building and what looked to be a relatively short bell tower, the church looked more like some kind of federal building, like a bank. The church was rectangular in shape, the walls made with gray stone. It was large, too.Muchlarger than the churches in Guymon were. Its enormity was probably the reason why it had been chosen for the contest. While it was curious that the dance marathon was to take place in a house of worship, perhaps both the organizers and the church leaders knew that the people who would enter something like this, risking theirGoddamn health for a bit of money, were sorely in need of help from the Lord.

Robert sure as hell was. Would God see fit to let Henry and Audrey win? Even though Henry and Robert were what they were to each other? Robert had to hope so. He needed something to go right for once. And Henry...

If it’s not one thing with you, it’s another.

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