Page 64 of Resilience on Canvas

I can’t even look at you right now.

Henry needed something to go right for once, too.

After Joe found a parking spot (two whole streets over since so many people had parked their Model As and Model Ts near the church itself), everyone walked together to the building. Robert and Henry stayed behind the others, neither of them speaking much.

It wasn’t until they reached the walkway to the front of the church that Robert took notice of Henry instead of selfishly focusing on his own upset. When Robert finally caught sight of Henry’s expression—his large brown eyes filled with unease and lips pressed into a thin line—he realized how nervous Henry probably was, and a rush of sweet sympathy unfurled in his chest, blooming like the most beautiful flower, one so magnificent it nearly made Robert stop in his tracks. With that lovely blossom of sympathy, however, came a heap of shame. Dammit, what the hell was wrong with him? In his heart, heknewthat Henry wouldn’t never fall in love with Audrey. He was only trying to help the two of them start a new life in California.

And for that to happen, Robert needed to stop being such a bastard. He needed to offer Henry some real encouragement so Henry could find that mental strength and self-confidence that Henry had in him, though he never seemed to know it.

Robert cleared his throat to try to pull Henry out of his nervous thoughts, but Henry kept chewing on his fingernails, his eyes fixedon the church ahead. Robert tried once more, this time sputtering a ragged-sounding cough instead, and Henry turned toward him, his forehead immediately wrinkling with worry.

“Gosh, maybe we ought to have brought some masks,” Henry said. “Are you—”

“I’m fine, Hen,” Robert said, slowing his walk so he could put some space between the two of them and Henry’s friends. “I wanted to talk to you, is all.”

“Oh.” Henry slowed his pace to stay with Robert. “I, uhm, well, I thought you weren’t really in the mood for talkin’ right now. What with yer face like that, you know? You looked... mad.”

Robert snorted. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t mad, really. I was...” He pinched his mouth while shaking his head. “Never mind what I was. Never mind my Goddamn face. And if you see me lookin’ mad when yer out there swingin’ and swayin’ with Audrey, I need you to ignore it. Don’t pay me no mind, you hear? Focus on winnin’ the money for us.”

Abruptly, Henry stopped walking and raked a hand through his hair. “Alright, I can try. But, Robert, what if we lose?”

Robert looked over Henry’s shoulder to see Joe, Rose, and Audrey continuing toward the church, and then looked back at Henry as the man ran his hand over his face.

“God, Robert, weneedthis money. I’ve beentryin’to think of some other way for us to come up with enough, but I can’t. And, heck, evenwiththe money from the contest, we won’t even have enough left for the whole of everything we’ll need. Because we need to pay my parents for the funeral. Not only will we be short on the train fare, but the livin’ expenses to boot. Where will we even stay when we’re out there? We can’t stay with my folks. I mean, you saw the way my father...” His faltering voice cut through Robert like a knife. Robert clenched his teeth, his muscles tensing. “He won’t never support us startin’ a life out theretogether.”

Robert inhaled a long, slow breath and relaxed his jaw.

Forcing a small smile, he said, “Don’t worry, Hen. We’ll think of somethin’. I can sell my car, maybe. And the tractor. Combined with the winnings from this, that will be enough for the train tickets. Maybe even enough for us to rent some kind of place, too. I’ve never rented a little home in one of them shared buildings myself, but between the two of us, I suspect we could make enough money for that.”

“Would you really sell the tractor?” Henry said, his eyes wide and hopeful.

Robert’s small, fake smile turned genuine.

“Of course I would. What the hell would I take it to California for? How would I even bring it with us? Ain’t no way we’re travelin’ bytractorto the coast,” Robert said with a smirk. In a playful tone, he tacked on, “Geez, Hen, think before you speak.”

Cheeks reddening, Henry let out a soft chuckle. “Sorry.”

Son of a bitch, Robert wanted nothing more than to kiss the hell out of him right then and there. He curled his hands into fists and waited for the urge to pass.

Once it had, Robert leaned and whispered, “We shouldn’t be frettin’ so much. Because you and me, we’re leavin’ this here hellhole together. I swear it.”

“Goodness, I hope so,” Henry said, his voice still tinged with a mixture of nervousness and uncertainty.

All the encouragement Robert had provided so far wasn’t enough. He needed to try something else. Something bigger. Something bolder.

After checking to make sure no one else was watching—swiveling his head from left to right to search the church lawn and the sidewalk—Robert snatched Henry’s hand.

“Little wolf, Iknowyou can win,” he said in a hushed tone as he squeezed Henry’s fingers.

Henry squeezed back, and the corners of his mouth curled into a small smile. “I will.”

Finally, there was a little bit of confidence in Henry’s voice. It wasn’t much. But it was there. Robert would have to pray that it was enough.

After one more rough squeeze, Robert let go of Henry’s hand. And with it, he let go of the last of his insecurities too. What mattered most was him and Henry making it to California.

“Come on,” he said, nodding toward the church. “I bet yer friends are waitin’ for us.”

Shoulder to shoulder, Robert and Henry went inside. First, they traversed a long hallway lined with a series of doors. Then, they followed the handwritten paper signs on the walls telling them where to find Alva’s First Dance Marathon. When they reached the end of the hallway, Robert ignored the sign instructing them to turn right and turned left instead. Never having been in such a large church before, Robert was curious to see its layout, regardless of where they were supposed to go. Henry followed close behind, wringing his hands while they explored. At the end of the short hallway, there was a velvet curtain, and behind that, they found the nave, with rows and rows of pews and a cross near the pulpit. Only one window, too. One that was large and colorful and made of beautiful stained glass.

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