Page 83 of Resilience on Canvas

Chapter Twenty-Two

Robert

Dayslater,Robertwasstanding on a train platform in Oklahoma City to see his siblings off to California. All of their belongings—everything they could fit into a couple of borrowed suitcases—were either being taken on the train or had been loaded into the car that him and Henry would be taking to the coast. Even though Robert hated the thought that his siblings would be spending so much time with the Sherwoods over the coming week, he knew it was the only way that him and Henry could start their life in California without risking the health of the children. Robert had considered taking one or more of his siblings with him and Henry in the car so that they could save their portion of the train fare, but it seemed wrong to split them up. Besides that, if a black blizzard rolled through, especially one as big as the one back in April, the children might not survive it. Hell, him or Henry might not survive it, neither, but Robert couldn’t risk Thomas’s or Peter’s or May’s life like that. Or Clara’s, though he’d have never taken her with them. Someone had to travel with Henry’s parents and the children. Sure, Henry’s folks probably would have taken care of them kids without complaint, but Robert couldn’t have that. Accepting a bit of tit for tat—taking the car to California forHenry’s parents in exchange for the train tickets—was one thing. But expecting the Sherwoods to both entertain and watch over the Davis children for the entire trip themselves? Not a chance.

Kneeling, Robert welcomed all three of his smallest siblings in for a big hug. Wrapping them up in his arms, Robert squeezed them tight, trying to impart on them just how big of a moment this really was. But in only a couple of seconds, the children started to pull away, every one of them too excited for the train to really comprehend the enormity of the moment. Robert couldn’t blame them. Truthfully, he was a tad curious about the train himself. How would it feel to be moving so fast for so long? Would they really sleep in one of them berths? Robert hoped that Clara could paint the picture for him when they met up again in San Francisco.

After Robert was finished irritating his siblings by hugging them for too long, the children ran over to Henry’s mother, begging her to take them to their seats. As soon as Robert stood, Clara barreled into him, wrapping him up in a rib-crushing hug of her own. Robert laughed softly in her ear as he hugged her back. God, he’d miss her.

“You’re coming straight to San Francisco, right?” she asked, still holding onto him.

“Of course,” he replied. “I can’t let y’all bother the Sherwoods too much. We’ll bring the car to Charles and Lillian’s new house the second we find ourselves a place to stay. Maybe we can rent a little house in the city if that’s where we find work. With the money me and Henry will make workin’, we’ll have enough to rent a nice place for everyone.”

“Thank you,” she said before pecking him on the cheek.

After a few more seconds of hugging, Clara released him and then took two of the luggage bags to the train. Robert waved to her as she stepped up onto the train.

Once she was inside, Robert turned to Henry’s father who had been waiting nearby. Approaching, Charles Sherwood adjusted his straw boater hat, tugging on the wide brim.

“Well, we should be in San Francisco late tomorrow. I expect you and Henry to meet us there within a week.”

The train they were taking would head southwest, first to El Paso and then north up through California, initially passing a big city called Los Angeles before finally reaching San Francisco. Robert and Henry’s route would be more straightforward, but slower. Hopefully they’d make it without issue.

“Yes, sir, that’s the plan,” Robert said. “I hope the money from me and Henry will cover the food and such. We’ll have more money for you soon, too. When we’re livin’ in California, every penny that the two of us earn that isn’t spent on housing or food will be put toward payin’ you back for the funeral. And for whatever else you might end up spendin’ on this train ride or while we’re still travelin’ to meet up with you.”

Charles Sherwood nodded, his face tight like he was trying to hold back from saying something, likely the same thing he had been saying over and over ever since Henry had proposed the plan in the first place, which was that him and his wife were happy to help the Davis family find their footing in California, even so far as to provide them with housing and food while Robert either found the right type of work or saved enough money or both. But Robert had refused.

Robert’s eyes were fixed on Henry’s father when Henry came up beside him, shuffling his feet awkwardly as the train whistle blew. Scratching the side of his head, Henry took a few more tentative steps toward his old man. Apparently, the conversation they’d had regarding Robert’s offer to take the car hadn’t been the most pleasant, especially since Charles seemed to have figured out that Robert and Henry were more than friends to each other. Still,Charles had ultimately agreed to Robert’s proposal, if only because he wanted to help the kids.

Henry and his father shook hands, neither of them even trying for a hug. Robert’s heart turned leaden in his chest. If only he could save Henry from his hurt and feel the pain himself instead.

Afterward, Robert shook hands with Charles, too. Then, Robert and Henry walked back to their car. Henry’s family’s Model A truck was loaded up with a couple of bags, mostly heirlooms from Robert’s mother that he hadn’t been forced to sell as well as a few other things from the Davis family—toys and clothes and the like—that Clara and the children hadn’t been willing to part with. Even with those things plus Robert and Henry’s luggage, there was plenty of room left in the cargo bed, which was good because the men would need a place to sleep for a night or two on the way.

Leaving so much behind had been bittersweet for Robert, though the bitterness outweighed the sweetness by a mile. While the Davis family knew the reason they had to leave Guymon, it had still been their home. California was more like a fairy tale than a real place in some ways.

But it was one that Robert needed to believe in.

Over the next couple of hours, Robert and Henry made their way back west to Guymon to meet up with Joe and Rose, who were ready to leave for California, too. They pulled up outside Joe and Rose’s house, and when Robert saw their own Model A, the cargo bed overflowing and a mattress strapped to the roof of the cab, he couldn’t help but feel a little thankful that him and his family had been forced to leave so much of their life behind. It would have been real hard to try to carry plumb near everything from their old life and force it into their new one.

Robert was ready for a fresh start instead.

From Guymon, Robert, Henry, Joe, and Rose left for the coast.

Miles and miles later, somewhere in New Mexico, Henry scooted closer to rest his head on Robert’s shoulder. Robert let his right hand fall to Henry’s thigh for a few moments before returning it to the steering wheel. Over the constant roar of the engine, Robert heard Henry let out a soft sigh, long and tinged with sadness.

“Thinkin’ ’bout yer pop?” Robert asked.

“Yeah,” Henry said. “I can’t seem to help it. All my life, I’ve wanted to make him proud, but I never managed to be the son he wanted. I bet you he’s finally given up the hope that I’ll ever be... whatever it is he thought I’d be. Married and workin’ in a bank like him, maybe. I’m not sure. Anything other than who I am, I guess.”

Robert set his jaw, his muscles tensing from his fast-rising anger. “He’s a Goddamn fool, Hen. Because you areperfect.”

“Thanks,” Henry mumbled.

Christ, how Robert hated this. He wanted Henry to be excited for their future together, not wallowing because his old man was too stupid to see what a wonderful man his son was.

Over the next several hours, the tone of Henry’s half-hearted “thanks” clattered around in Robert’s head, mixing with the rumble of the engine and stirring a fierce protectiveness in Robert’s soul. He needed to help his little wolf see his worth. Somehow.

Later that night, when him and Henry were settling in, Robert would make sure that Henry knew how special he was. He’d hold Henry close and whisper words of praise in his ear and pleasure him ’til he couldn’t fixate on this hurt no more.

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