Page 93 of Resilience on Canvas

“Goddamnsonofabitch economy!” Robert shouted, smacking the steering wheel. “Dammit, even though we wasted a whole tank of fuel travelin’ through what feels like every Goddamn neighborhood of this Goddamn city, we somehow can’t seem to findone‘Help Wanted’ sign without forty other fuckin’ people waitin’ outside of whatever the hell business it is.”

Henry leaned forward to rest his forehead on the dashboard.

“I’m sorry, Robert.”

Robert sighed. “Me too.” He closed his eyes and whispered a soft, “Dammit.”

Why couldn’t they find nothing? It made no sense. Even though the economy was the way it was, they were in a whole huge city. How could there not be no work? Even with so many stores? Sure, they had seen plenty of closed businesses lining the streets, but some of them were open, and the ones that were open had to need help, right?

But the only thing him and Henry had found in the whole city were lines.

Bread lines.

Soup kitchen lines.

Lines of folks waiting to be taken by truck out to the valley so they could pick fruit.

Lines. Lines. Lines.

Son of a bitch!

Letting out a small scream of frustration, Robert pounded the steering wheel once more. Dammit, he couldn’t fail like this. Not when him and Henry had come so far. Not when the fantasy of their future together was so close to becoming a reality. Him and Henry were meant to make a life for themselves out here. Robert was sure of it.

And there wasn’t no way in hell that Robert was letting the Sherwoods literally raise his siblings for him, not when he had spent the entirety of his life so far protecting them and cooking for them and buying the things they needed for school. He had worked so hard. Being their provider, that was who he was. He wasn’t a leech like his father had been. He wasn’t someone who let other people shoulder the burden of responsibility that should have been his. No way in hell would Robert let Charles Sherwood become the provider forhisfamily.

And yet . . .

When Robert closed his eyes, he found he couldn’t picture him and Henry’s future no more. All he could see were lines.

Hopelessness coiled in Robert’s stomach, the bleakness of the future tightening around him like a hungry man’s belt.

Robert was still lost in his godforsaken misery when he felt Henry pulling him in for a sideways cuddle-hug.

“Hen, not here,” Robert complained, his eyes fluttering open, though he couldn’t manage to make it sound like he was protesting for real, exactly.

Even though there wasn’t no one nearby, they were still in the middle of the city. It wasn’t smart for them to be being so brazen like this. But, oh, it was nice...

“Just one minute,” Henry said, squeezing tightly. “I think we earned one minute of closeness. We need it. At least, I need it.”

Robert hummed. “Yeah, I need it too.”

Henry clung to Robert for a few long minutes. After they parted, they both instinctively checked to see if they had been spotted cuddling. Thankfully, no one was around.

“Alright, now what?” Robert asked.

“Uhm...” Henry’s cheeks turned the cutest Goddamn shade of pink. “I have an idea, maybe? What if we spend some time on the beach? Just, you know, to see it? Maybe it’ll make us feel better. And when we’re feelin’ better, we can try to come up with a plan?”

Robert chewed on his lip, thinking this over. He still wanted to see the ocean. Up close. Not only in passing while they were scouring the streets for “Help Wanted” signs.

“Yeah, okay,” he said. “Not like I can stand the thought of searchin’ some more for work right now anyway. We might as well have fun before we head back to the house with our Goddamn tails between our legs.”

Robert took the car west, toward the ocean, and parked in front of a large sign for a tire shop. Of course, Robert couldn’t help but check to see if they were hiring. But there wasn’t no sign outside. And while there were a whole bunch of other cars parked nearby, there wasn’t no line in front of the business, neither. Robert sighed. All them cars were parked here because of the beach, which was only on the other side of the busy road.

After Robert climbed out of the truck, he sucked in a long inhale through his nose, relishing the salty scent of the sea, one he had smelled faintly in parts of the city. But none of those little whiffs of the ocean had even begun to compare to the intensity of it here, right by the water. Some kind of bird cawed loudly overhead.

Together, Robert and Henry walked to the beach, and when Henry first stepped on the uneven mound of sand, he nearly lost his footing and stumbled. But Robert steadied him.

“Good God, we’re finally here,” Henry said, wonderment in his voice, his brown eyes sparkling with hope.

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