Page 38 of Say Something
Nothing.
Nothing.
That had been my second chance. My second chance to make a better choice, to react differently. To fall into my husband, instead of away from him. Another lost opportunity.
“Come on,” Danny said, patting my leg. “I want to show you the house.”
We got on the four-wheeler and headed back towards the barn. The ride back was quiet and less fun than the ride out. I didn’t hold on quite as tightly as I had before, it just didn’t feel like I should. A heavy silence hung over us, one that was my fault. I always had to go and make things uncomfortable.
I followed him across the driveway towards the large two-story farmhouse. It was painted red to match the barn, but I’d always imagined it would look more welcoming in a robin’s egg blue. He brought me in through the mudroom and we kicked off our boots. The kitchen came next, it was large but under construction, so it was impossible to determine how it would look when it was complete.
“How do you cook in here?” I asked, running a fingertip along the dusty granite countertop.
“I’ve been getting most of my meals from The Diner and from my mom.”
“What would we do without our parents?” I asked, realizing how ironic that statement was coming from me.
“They’ve been my rock,” he admitted.
“Mine have been really good to me since I’ve been home.”
“They would have been there for you before, too, you know?”
I turned away from him, frustrated. Why did he have to bring that up? Things were already weird enough between us.
“I guess I just don’t understand, Jess.” His voice was angry, bitter even. “After all this time, why you’re back. Why did you choose to come home now? Why did you choose to accept help now? Why couldn’t you have done that while we were together? When we still had a chance?”
Each one of the words stung, like a whip lashing at my back. So did the insinuation.When we still had a chance,as in we didn’t have a chance now. I honestly never expected a second chance with Danny, but the finality with which he spoke those words was cutting. It broke open a wound inside me I thought had healed or that at least had scabbed over. Maybe there had been hope. Some little seed of hope I hadn’t even known I still held.
Keeping my back to him, I walked to the front door.
“Oh, that’s real rich, Jessica. Walk away when it gets hard. I guess some things never change.”
Now that pissed me off. I turned around and glared at him. “Is this why you asked me here, Danny? To get me away from prying eyes and on your turf so you could tell me how you really felt about me? Huh?”
He had no answer for that. He looked surprised I was saying anything at all. Well, some things did change. Just because I wasn’t prepared to rehash our painful history didn’t mean I had no fight in me.
I shook my head at him. “And for the record, Danny, I’m not the one who walked away. That was you.”
As the front door slammed behind me, I knew what I said had been a low blow. I knew damn well he wouldn’t have walked away four years ago if I hadn’t have made him, but he pushed my buttons, and I pushed back.
The feisty “killer” Jessica was back. I hoped he was ready for her.
