Page 66 of Our Moon
“I’m going to miss you while you’re gone.”
“Please. We’re going to be Skyping so much that you’re going to be sick of me.”
I giggle at his dorkiness. “Promise me you’ll be nice to him,” I say quietly. He pulls back and looks at me; he knows exactly who I am talking about. “Please, Alex. It’s as much my fault as it is his, and if you forgive me, you have to forgive him, too.”
“Ally,” he sighs.
“No, Alex. Please,” I beg. “You’re going to be on that bus with him for six months. You can’t be angry with him while you’re on tour. You guys need to get along. If you don’t, I will worry about you the whole time you’re gone.”
Alex looks over towards the bus, where everyone is now standing, watching our exchange. He sighs again, “Fine. For you, I will. I promise.”
I hug him again. “Thank you. I love you,” I tell him, and I feel him tense up. I haven’t told him or Trevor that I love them since the coma. It isn’t that I don’t know how I feel; it didn’t take me long to love them as brothers. There was just never a natural moment to say it. Right now, it feels natural. It feels true.
“I love you, too, Ally.” He squeezes me tight and then helps me up from the ground. “You okay?” he asks, gesturing to my knees from when I fell.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” I sniffle. My jeans protected my knees from the fall so I’m not cut up.
Now I want them to leave even less; I feel like Alex and I have wasted so much time with him being angry at me.
“We’ll be back real soon,” he says as he leans forward and kisses my forehead.
“I know,” I nod.
Trevor walks over and gives me a hug, “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I smile as I hug him close. “I love you, Trev.” I feel his breath catch as he reacts to my declaration.
“Love you, too, kid.” His voice catches, but he still smiles as he pulls away. “See you in a few weeks in Raleigh,” he calls out as he walks back to the bus.
I’m meeting them on their tour stop in Raleigh; it’s close and it coincides with a short break I have from school.
“I’ll see you then,” I say. I go to wave to Alex and smile as I see him and Chase shake hands and share a quick bro-hug, Alex’s term, not mine. Looking past Alex’s shoulder, Chase catches me watching them and winks. I smile back at him.
Things between Chase and I came to a complete halt after that day at the house when he revealed everything. He apologized to me endlessly for lying, and for withholding information from me. Determined to start off with an even cleaner slate, a few days after the big reveal, I convinced him that we should ‘fess up to my brothers about our more recentfeelings. He agreed. They took it about as well as could be expected. Not like anything could have gotten any worse, and we were no longer acting on it. So there’s that.
Chase never pressured me or tried to get me to remember what we once had. He was always there as a friend, but even that was a little strained since he so obviously loved me, and I was clearly attracted to him physically and maybe just a little more. Okay, a lot more. But I decided to focus on finishing my education since I was having a hard time with the idea of letting him back in in that way. I didn’t think he would lie to me again, but I had to protect myself.
After I accept my diploma from the dean, I turn to walk off stage and startle briefly when a flash of Alex’s grinning face pops into my head. That was weird. My mind clears and I hear Alex’s cheers again. I look out to the crowd. I’m unable to locate him, but I smile and wave anyway. I’m finally a college graduate!
It took a little longer than planned for me to complete my programs at the Art Institute. I was working on two programs – traditional chef’s school and baking. But I also took some time off to join the band on their second tour. Actually, it was their third tour, but the second one I was actually around for. I joined them for a short while, only missing one semester, but it still resulted in my taking longer to complete the programs. My school friends were so jealous, but I sent them tonsof pictures. I was a little disappointed I wouldn’t be graduating with them, but we still see each other often, and I know they are here today somewhere.
I wouldn’t trade it for the world though, because I had a great time with them on tour. Alex and Joey were an absolute riot. And I had a great time with Evie and little Max. Max, who is now just over two years old, got into everything and says everything. He’s his father’s son for sure. Alex and Joey need to watch their mouths around that little man.
I meet them all in the back of the auditorium after the ceremony concludes. I can’t help but smile and laugh as I’m passed from person to person for hugs and congratulations. Lucy is here from California, too. It’s nice having everyone together. My school friends, Suzy, John, and Tim, fit in real well with our group, too, which is a relief for me since I won’t have separate school and work lives now that I’ve graduated.
As usual, Chase is the last to hug me. When he pulls away, he looks down at my wrist and touches the bracelet I put on this morning. The one he apparently gave me.
“You wore it?” he asks.
I nod. Regardless of what happened between us, he still gives me butterflies and I don’t quite trust my voice at the moment.
“I love it,” I finally say to him. “And it seemed appropriate.”
He smiles bright and nods. “It is.”
To any onlookers, we probably look like a happy couple of people just talking about the day. But on the inside, I know Chase and I are still struggling. I’m struggling with not knowing what I want and if I’m ready to trust him and let him in. And he’s just struggling--without me.
Thankfully, Trevor steps over and breaks the awkwardness. “You ready?”
