Page 9 of Our Moon
“Yeah, we were puzzled more than anything. I was just trying to ask about it without getting you excited about a possible memory or something. I didn’t mean to make it seem like we were accusing you of something.” Trevor reaches down, takes my hand and squeezes.
“Chase explained everything, and it makes sense now,” Alex says. The sorrow in his voice matches his face. I reach my right hand over and take his hand in mine.
Wait a minute. Rewind. Chase explained everything? Huh? “What do you mean? About Chase?” I ask.
“He said he plays it sometimes. Said you probably heard it through the windows when you were out back or something. I’m sorry I freaked out and confronted you like that,” Trevor says. I can tell he’s really beating himself up over this. He’s the level-headed one. He’s always so thoughtful, he never reacts, and he’s so meticulous. The fact that he had reacted without thinking, possibly for the first time in his adult life, is apparently causing him devastation.
“It’s okay, I guess I can see how it would have seemed weird that I was humming that song.” I squeeze his hand back in an effort to reassure him. “But please, tell me about this song. What is it about this song that caused you to freak out?”
“It’s not really the song. I mean it is, but it isn’t.”
“Trev, that doesn’t really clear things up,” I snicker.
He sighs. “Chase wrote the song. He wrote it while you were in the coma. We all worked on it together really, but we’ve never played it in public and we never recorded it. It was just kind of odd that the one song of ours you hum happens to be the one no one has ever heard.”
“Yeah, I mean ‘Fall Down’ we’d understand, It’s has the most airtime on the radio. But ‘Our Moon’ has zero airtime. Zero play time at all, really,” Alex explains.
“Should have known you might have heard it from Chase,” Trevor shakes his head. “I really didn’t mean to interrogate you like that, I just didn’t really know how to ask about it without kind of freaking out. I guess.”
“What’s it about?” I wonder out loud.
“Chase hasn’t ever said specifically, but it’s not hard to figure out,” Trevor says.
“The one that got away,” Alex adds.
“A girl?” I ask. I’m not really sure I want to know the answer to that question. Kind of ruins the fantasy for me if there’s a girl in Chase’s life or his heart.
“Seems that way,” Trevor responds. “Chase is very private, so we don’t press him about it. His mom pretty much screwed him up as far as relationships go, too, so it’s a rough topic in general. Pair that with him actually taking a chance and it backfiring, no good.”
“No bueno,” Alex says.
What did his mom do? I remember Alex saying that Chase and Joey had bad home lives, but he didn’t share anything specific. I guess it’s really not my business, but I just want to know everything I can about Chase. Something about him has been pulling me in since I first saw his picture.
“So,” I begin, trying to lighten the mood, “did you think I have ESP or something? Asixth sense? I don’t think I was floating around outside my body while I was in a coma.”
“I don’t know what I thought,” Trevor says solemnly.
“Look, it’s okay. Really. I’m going to have anxiety attacks over stupid shit. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
“We just didn’t mean to upset you and make you cry,” Alex says.
I shake my head, “I’m just embarrassed. It was embarrassing. I can’t engage in a simple confrontation without freaking out. It’s humiliating. Why can’t I just have simple reactions and interactions?”
“You’ve been through a lot, kid. You’re entitled to some high quality freak outs.”
“Thanks,” I laugh. “I’m glad you condone my behavior.”
Trevor lies back on the bed, and the three of us quietly stare at the ceiling fan for a while. I can’t help but feel lucky and content, despite my earlier episode, being here with my brothers beside me.
Then Alex goes and breaks the silence. “Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?” Trevor answers.
“Dwayne.”
“Dwayne who?” I chuckle. I have no clue where this was going, and knowing Alex, it can go anywhere.
“Dwayne the tub, I’m drowning!”
