Page 55 of Wicked Games We Play

“Have you heard from him?” she asked, bending to sweep a pile of debris into her dustpan. Her question made my heart instantly ache.

“Once,” I told her. “It was really quick though, but he said physically he’s doing okay.”

“He loves you, you know. He always has.”

I stopped pounding the rubber mallet against the top of the paint can, letting it lay lax in my grasp as I turned to face her. “I know,” I whispered, hanging my head. A fresh wave of sadness crashed through my body, and I bit the inside of my lip to contain my emotions. As sweet as Elle was, I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to open up to her.

“Did he ever tell you I accidentally eavesdropped on you guys when you told him you were staying with Ryder? I had no idea what I was listening in on, but I knew I had never seen my best friend feel like that. Before that day in the basement, I wasn’t even aware he had feelings for you, or even knew you for that matter. But when he slammed his fist into the locker… I knew. I knew he was in love with you.

“Noah is a lot of things, Lily. He’s kind and supportive, but he can also be a giant ass, and he makes mistakes.” Our eyes met. “But when he loves, he loves fiercely and without apologies. He’s the type of guy who would light a match and watch the entire world burn around him if it meant the people he loves are safe. I know because I have been best friends with him for almost my entire life, and I’ve been the recipient of his love. Albeit, a different version of his love, but his love all the same.

“I can feel your sadness and see the love you have for him too, Lily. I know you probably don’t want my unsolicited advice, but when he comes home, don’t push him away. Let him love you. You, more than anyone, deserve the type of love we only dream of and read about, and I know Noah well enough to know he’d give you that and more.”

Speechless, I stood there and stared at her like a deer in headlights, processing her words while my heart hammered inside of my chest.

She moved toward me and brushed her hand against my arm, offering me a soft, tight-lipped smile. “Just think about it, and follow your heart,” she said before she picked up her purse that sat beside the door and walked out of the boutique.

The weight of the world felt like it was hanging on my chest and the one thing that flared in my mind constantly, like a flashing neon sign, was that I wanted to talk to Noah. I wanted to tell him everything I was feeling, and feel him hold me. I missed his touch, his laugh, his snark. The playful banter, the sexy messages. I even missed the way I wanted to ring his neck and the jealous rage that coursed through my veins at the mere thought of another woman being in his bed.

As if I had summoned the devil himself, my phone vibrated on the nightstand and the illumination from the screen cast a soft glow to the surrounding space. Reaching for it, I let out a small squeal when I saw it was a text from an unknown number.

UKNOWN: Are you awake, Flower?

I couldn’t will my fingers to type the three letters fast enough.

Me: Yes.

Immediately, my phone rang.

“Noah?” I answered, although I already knew it was him. My heart beat erratically and my entire body hummed with anticipation. It had been over three months since I heard his voice, and I was desperate for the deep rumble.

He groaned, low and heavy. The sound shot straight through my soul and pooled in my belly. “Lily, I fucking miss you so much.”

“You have no idea.”

“We can’t talk long, Flower. But I needed to hear your voice. Are you waiting for me, Lily? Or have you moved on?” His voice sounded sad with his question, and I frowned in the darkness of my room.

“You know the answer to that, Noah. It’s you. Only you.”

“I know. I just needed to hear you say it,” he breathed. “Lily, I need to tell you something.”

A wave of nausea hit me like a ton of bricks. No one wanted to hear “I need to tell you something.” I need to tell you something usually translated to something bad, and naturally, my mind went to the darkest places.

Had he met someone else? Did he fuck someone else? Was he in danger? Was he not coming home? My thoughts ran rampant, thinking up every scenario that he could throw at me.

“Okay,” I finally whispered.

“I can’t come home yet. The assignment’s taking longer than I thought it would and I can’t leave yet.”

“How long do you think?”

“I have no way of knowing. But I promise you, Lily, I’m working as quickly as I can. I’m losing my mind being away from you.” His voice was somber. The melancholy tone emitted through the phone and sank into my heart. He wasn’t coming home. “Flower, I have to go. I’m so sorry. I’m thinking of you, always.”

His words hung in silence, everything that could be said hanging between us but not spoken. Once again, the overwhelming feeling to tell him how I felt begged to be set free, but once again, it was not the time. Instead, I said the only words, his words, and I knew they would convey everything I wanted to say without saying them.

“I’m still waiting, Noah,” I whispered to the quiet phone, hoping he was still hanging onto the other end of it.

The sound of him sucking in a harsh breath filled the speaker, letting me know my message had been received. “As long as it takes, Lily. I’ll wait forever for you.”

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