Page 68 of The Wish List
“My name is Beth. It isn’t short for Elizabeth or Bethany. Just one simple syllable. My sisters are Freya and Trinity. They have exotic, exciting names, and I’m just Beth. I made the mistake of sharing that with Greg in a moment of weakness. I’d always wanted to be an Elizabeth. His idea of a joke was that nickname.”
“Greg has a jackass sense of humor, and he can’t hold his liquor. It’s a pathetic combination. We should come up with a nickname for him. Greg the Goober.”
Beth laughed and hugged Declan closer. Oh, she was in trouble with this man. He refused to believe he was worth loving, and she remained committed to putting herself before anyone else.
Atrocious timing, but there was no denying her feelings for him, which grew stronger every moment. She might not be able to deny them, but she could at the very least hide them.
“Goober works for me,” she said and held him tight. He worked for her. Somehow Beth knew if she was with a man like Declan, nothing would prevent her from getting everything she wanted in the world. If it was a baby, he’d move heaven and earth to make her a mother, and it wouldn’t matter whether the child was biological or one they adopted.
Something fluttered inside her heart. Maybe it wasn’t that she didn’t have the desire to be a mother because of all those years of taking care of her sisters. Perhaps it had been Greg and the fact that she knew their marriage wasn’t built for the long haul.
No matter what Declan told her about not being a long-haul sort of guy and everything she said to him about not wanting commitment, there was that flutter again. Precious and dangerous. She clenched her hand into a fist and locked the secret yearning away deep inside her, safe from anything that could cause it or her harm.
If nothing else, she’d learned that keeping her heart safe was both the most difficult and important task she would face.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
TRINITYWALKEDINTOher mother’s room two days later, hoping that May would be asleep or at an activity. She cradled her stomach as if there were a baby still in there instead of alone in a hospital bassinet.
She was frustrated and still sore, her body struggling to recover when her heart hurt so badly, although she couldn’t fault anyone on the NICU staff. The nurses were caring and conscientious. Thomas was gaining weight, and if things continued to go well, he could be released soon, which both relieved and terrified Trinity.
The reality of having a baby was so much different than what she’d expected. Already, the thought of keeping that tiny, adorable, helpless bundle alive on her own felt like a daunting task. Just pumping enough breast milk to keep him going when she wasn’t at the hospital was overwhelming.
What would happen when he was home, and she didn’t have the nurses to rely on if something went wrong?
She knew she wasn’t alone. Freya would be staying through the New Year, and Beth had offered to spend the first few nights with them. Trinity would make this work no matter what.
To her surprise, May was standing at the window framed by holiday garland when Trinity walked into the room, her walker pushed to one side.
“Mom, should you be out of bed on your own?” Trinity hurried forward like her mother might stumble and fall if she didn’t reach her quickly enough.
“Fine,” May said with the lopsided smile that was becoming familiar. “I fine, Trinny. Where you been?”
May searched her face then her eyes widened as she looked down at Trinity’s stomach, which wasn’t exactly flat but clearly had changed shape since the last time she’d visited.
“Baby,” she whispered.
“Yeah, Mom.” Trinity did her best to blink back the tears that threatened to overflow. “You have a grandson. His name is Thomas Michael.”
“Trinny, so happy.” May lifted her right arm to envelop Trinity in a tight hug. Her left side was still stiff, although she was beginning to get some mobility back in her hand and wrist. “Where...” May pulled back and searched her daughter’s face. “Why you cry?”
“He’s still in the hospital,” Trinity said, trying to keep her voice steady. “He’s doing well, but because he was born so early, they wanted to keep him.”
“Baby healt...” May swallowed. Certain words and sounds continued to be difficult for her to form, although sometimes it was difficult to know whether her brain or her motor skills were causing the issue. “Healthy?”
“Yes.” Trinity pulled her phone from her purse. “Would you like to see him, Mom?”
May nodded and squeezed Trinity’s arm. Trinity still found it difficult to believe that her mother was so excited about a baby, but she was learning to appreciate May’s now typical enthusiasm for the tiny details of her daughters’ lives.
Not that a baby was tiny in anything but size.
They sat on the bed together, and Trinity scrolled through the dozens of pictures she’d taken of Thomas.
May cooed over each one and leaned in to press kisses against the screen. It was exactly the response Trinity would have hoped for, and it triggered a tidal wave of emotion.
“Mom, I hate that he’s in the hospital. He was born too early, and I can’t stop thinking I did something wrong. This is somehow my fault. What if I messed things up from the very start?”
“Trinny, no.” May tried to lift her left hand to grab Trinity’s then placed it on her thigh. “Thms perfect.” She cupped Trinity’s chin in her right hand until Trinity met her gaze. Then she said slowly, “You are good mama. I know tis.”
