Page 21 of Fallen Starboy

Instead of heading right back to the house, I decided to take Yejin out and do something. I didn’t need a bodyguard—Yejin was safe with me. Nobody here knew who she was, nor did I draw any eager eyes of cameras. Jun, in full makeup, however, was an international icon. If he came out in public without a disguise, he’d need an entourage to keep the mobs away.

“Miss Arista, Miss Arista, look!”

I followed her little finger and spotted the huge blue parrot perched just feet from us. His beady eyes regarded Yejin coolly, along with all the other kids around her at the exotic bird exhibit of the zoo. A child in the corner started crying, and the parrot turned his direction, mocking him with a mimic of his wails.

Which, of course, set the other children off in fits of laughter. All except Yejin.

She tilted her head to the side and regarded the bird with confusion, her tiny brows scrunched together. “Why is he being mean?” she asked quietly, her eyes never leaving his as he mimed the other child’s call for his mother.

“Mama! Mama! Birds are scary! Mama, mama!”

“He’s a bird, sweety,” I explained slowly, hoping a simple explanation would placate her. “He doesn’t understand things like we do. To him, there is no right or wrong. There just . . . is.”

She seemed to ponder my words as the bird turned away, returning its attention to the original crying child. His mother had come running in response to his cries, and she now knelt at his side, comforting him with hushed murmurs and a soft smile filled with sympathy.

“He’ll be okay,” I assured her, seeing the way her brows scrunched up and her frown deepened. “His mom will take care of him.”

“Is that what moms do?” she asked suddenly, so quietly I nearly missed it. “Take care of you?”

I froze, realizing we were suddenly in very dangerous territory. “It’s one thing they do for you. But daddies do the same thing. And you have a very good daddy, Yejin.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, twisting her skirt in her fingers. “But he’s not a mom.”

I didn’t know what to say to comfort her. I had no words that would ease her obvious sadness. And anything I could say got stuck in my throat as the urge to hug her rose in me. Like Yejin, though, I settled for twisting a stray lock of my hair around a finger, busying the itchy hands that wanted to comfort my daughter.

The one I left behind.

I’d done this to her. Left her with a hole she couldn’t fill. A sadness her father clearly wasn’t enough to ease, no matter how amazing of a dad he was. And that reminded me all the more of the weight of my decisions all those years ago.

“What would you like to do now, Yejin? Your daddy won’t be finished for a while. We could?—”

“It’s okay, Miss Arista. You don’t have to take me places today. I can just wait for Daddy like I always do.”

Her devotion to Jun was commendable. But I wasn’t about to let this day go to waste for her. “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t get the chance?”

“I don’t know. There’s a lot I haven’t done.”

I smiled down at her, suddenly realizing how I could turn this day around. “Then let’s do it all!”

We hit the arcade, the chocolate factory, the petting zoo, even the museum, before finally finishing out the day at a local bakery I frequented for their delicious morning muffins. By the time we rolled back into the house, it was growing dark outside, and the lights on inside the house were like a beacon of judgement.

It didn’t even occur to me how long we’d been gone. All I’d done that day was prioritize a little girl’s whims, giving her everything she wanted that Jun was too busy for.

I opened the door, juggling an armload of plushies from crane machines, Yejin hot on my heels.

And was met by a stern, angry glare from a pair of eyes I’d frequently drowned in a long time ago.

“Daddy! Look what we got!” Yejin bounded over to him with an eager smile, unable or perhaps unwilling to read the emotion in the room, or the animosity in his gaze that stayed pinned on me. “I won this for you.”

He accepted the little penguin she handed him with a soft smile, turning to her to examine the rest of her haul. “It’s almost as cute as you.” His eyes cut to me, then back down to her, the momentary flicker of rage disappearing in a flash. “Why don’t you take all these pretty animals up to your room and find them homes while Miss Arista and I have a little chat?”

She was gone in a flash, talking to her new friends as she took the stairs two at a time, before the sound of her door shutting echoed over the railing.

And just like that, Jun was grabbing my wrist to drag me into the kitchen, where we wouldn’t be overheard by prying ears.

“Hey, now, wait just a second—what’s the big idea, huh? Let mego!”

He stopped dead center of the room, refusing to release his grip as we faced off in what had to be the most tense and drama-filled moment of our lives. A standoff that the wild west would have been jealous of. Instinctively, I crossed my arms over my chest, ready to fight fire with fire.

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