Page 35 of Fallen Starboy

He chuckled, and it dissolved into a groan as I shifted my weight on him. “If you can find something to complain about, I’ll be surprised.”

I didn’t bother responding. Instead, I rose on him, falling with grace as I let him fill me up. Over and over, like a woman possessed, I fucked myself on his shaft, riding him like my life depended on it. Like I’d spent the last seven years dreaming of this moment. Like he’d starred in every single one of my wet dreams and solo session fantasies.

Because he had.

Because It was always him. It was only ever him. And it would only ever be him.

There was never going to be another. Not in this lifetime, or the next.

Jun filled me up over and over, stretching me in ways I forgot my body could, making room for himself in a place I’d never let another man even think of being. With every thrust, he carved his name on my soul, reclaiming his place in my life like he’d never left. His hands moved to my hips, assisting me as I switched to rocking and bouncing, pushing him against every inch of my insides to feel him everywhere.

I needed to etch him on every part of me. Parts that would only belong to him. So that I would never forget him, even after he was out of my life again.

The tears that formed in my eyes refused to stay silent this time, and with a gasp, I tossed my hands over my face and leaned into it, hoping he’d mistake my sobs for body-shaking ecstasy.

“Fuck, Ari, babe, you’re so good at this,” he moaned beneath me, his hips rocking up to meet mine as I moved, shoving himself inside me as far as he possibly could go. “Been practicing?”

With each word he spoke, I broke apart a little more inside, whether he realized it or not. And the further he pushed, the harder it’d be to come back to myself when this was over.

I should walk away right now. This shouldn’t go any further. But I was too far gone to care, too deep in the delusions and desires I’d locked up for far too long, to pull the plug on this last act of self-gratification now.

I wasn’t strong enough to walk away anymore.

Chapter

Fourteen

JUN

I might not havethe experience I let her think I did, but men talked. Men shared stories. And I’d always been a good listener. Every move, every technique, was learned through someone else. I’d never so much as held another woman the way I’d once held Ari, let alone fucked them.

But she didn’t seem to notice.

Maybe she’d just been with that many losers that my learned skill was superior to what scraps she’d been living off of.

Her body sucked me in as I eagerly met her thrust for thrust, our bodies working in tandem as we both raced toward the finish line and sweet release. She felt like fucking heaven around me, so tight, so achingly perfect, like we were meant to be together.

A low growl escaped me as she tossed her hands over her face and arched her back, soft moans and whimpers leaving her with every shift in our bodies.

I was tired of being underneath her. It was high time I show her who was really in charge here.

Me.

In a quick move I’d learned with clothes on as part of a variety show, I hooked her with my arms and legs and flippedus so she was beneath me on her back, still hidden behind those hands. She parted two fingers to peek out at me as I gave her back as good as I got, taking the opportunity to showcase my hips, the part most integral to an idol’s marketable sexuality.

Her moans deepened, and as if she’d forgotten to hide from me, those fingers fell away, baring her face to my scrutiny.

She was crying.

Tears streamed down her face, giving me pause enough to slow my movements as her eyes met mine. And then I spotted the fire in the depths of her gaze and brushed that momentary guilt from my mind.

I shouldn’t feel bad for her shame. If she felt a certain kind of way about what she was doing, she’d had multiple opportunities to back out.

“I’m not going to last long like this,” I growled at her, grabbing for one of her hands as I spoke the words. “If you want that orgasm, you’d better help me out a little.” I guided her hand to her lower stomach, hoping she picked up the hints I was dropping. I didn’t want to do it like this. Everything within me screamed at me to touch her, stroke her, show her pleasure that she’d never known before. But my brain was at war with that softer side, insisting I take what I wanted and leave her to get her own on her own time.

I couldn’t bring myself to pick a side, so this was the best middle ground I could offer.

Her tears shimmered in the corner of her eyes as she forced a smile to her lips. “Cheater.” Despite the taunt, I could see the brokenness in her leaking out, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

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