Page 55 of Most Likely to Deny Love

“That’s just it. I don’t have a sex life. It was an accident.”

Emily stopped walking and planted her hands on her hips. “Mia Harris, I’ve known you since we were in diapers. I’ve never seen you this twisted up over a guy. You like him. A lot.”

I started walking again, unable to stand still with all the nervous energy crackling through my system. “It doesn’t matter if I like him. I sexually assaulted my boss in my sleep.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Emily jogged to catch up with me. “You didn’t assault him. You had a sexy dream and acted on it. And from what you told me, he was not exactly fighting you off.”

The memory of Jack’s groan, deep and raw, flashed through my mind, sending a wave of heat straight to my core. I’d been trying very hard not to remember that sound for days. I swallowed hard.

“It doesn’t matter. I humiliated myself. I can’t even look at him.”

“Well, he can’t stop looking at you,” Emily countered. “I’ve been watching him. He’s like a sad puppy that’s been kicked. He keeps staring at your office when he thinks no one’s watching.”

“You’re imagining things.”

“I’m not. And there’s no denying he’s hot for you, Mia. The man is practically vibrating with it. I don’t care what you think you know. That man wants you.”

I huffed out a laugh that held no humor. “He’s being nice. That’s all.”

“Nice?” Emily’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Nice is holding the door open. Nice is remembering your coffee order. Nice is not getting hard in your hand while spooning on his couch.”

“Emily!” I swatted at her arm, but she danced away, laughing.

“I’m just saying, men don’t usually get aroused over nothing. They get aroused from being touched by someone they’re attracted to. Someone they want.”

I picked up a small stone and tossed it into the lake, watching the ripples spread outward. “Even if that’s true, I’ve made things so fucking awkward now. How am I supposed to face him? What would I even say? ‘Sorry I grabbed your dick while I was sleeping, want to go to dinner sometime?’”

“Actually, yes,” Emily nodded enthusiastically. “That sounds perfect. Direct and to the point.”

Despite everything, I found myself laughing. “You’re the worst.”

She linked her arm through mine as we continued walking. “I’m the best and you know it. Look, all I’m saying is that what happened between you two isn’t as catastrophic as you’re making it out to be. Just talk to him. Clear the air.”

“And say what, exactly?”

“How about the truth? That you’re falling for him. That it wasn’t just the fake dating or the notes or the job thing. That it’s real for you now.”

My stomach clenched at the thought. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because what if it’s not real for him?” The words felt like glass in my throat. “What if I tell him how I feel and he has to let me down gently? I couldn’t stand the pity in his eyes, Em. I just couldn’t.”

Emily stopped again, turning to face me directly. “Mia, you’re my best friend and my cousin and I love you more than almost anyone on this planet. So I need you to hear me when I say this. That man is gone for you. The way he looks at you isn’t pity. It’s not kindness. It’s not fake boyfriend material. It’s the real fucking deal.”

I shook my head. “It is not.”

“It is.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I have eyes in my head. And there’s lots of evidence.” She held up her hand, counting off on her fingers one by one. “The notes. Offering to be your fake boyfriend. He wants to take you to Paris. Don’t get me started on how mad I am that you’re still saying no to that. And unless I’m wildly misreading the situation, he was very, very happy to have your hand down his pants. You’re just in denial.”

I groaned and covered my face with my hands. “When you lay it all out like that...”

“It sounds like he’s crazy about you? Yeah, that’s my point.” Emily gently pried my hands away from my face. “So stop hiding. Stop avoiding him. And for the love of all things holy, go talk to the man before I lock you both in the supply closet.”

She wasn’t wrong. I knew she wasn’t. But the thought of laying myself bare, of the chance of rejection, made me want to throw up.

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