Page 37 of Wildest Forever

Leaning against the doorframe of his bedroom, I scope the room out. He has already fixed the window, they're both open slightly and the once musty room now smells fresher.

The bed is stripped and bare, boxes still littered over the floor.

My chest aches a little and I find myself flattening my palm across my heart and through the thin material of my cotton tee.

We made this room up years ago. I asked my pops if we could make a room for my mom, you know, just in case she ever came back.

He knew she would never return, but me, a child, dreamt of the day she wrapped her arms around me and promised to never leave me again.

But of course, she never came.

The harsh reality sunk in finally and I knew it would always be me and him.

It wasn't a problem. He was the best mom, dad, granddad and grandma all rolled into one.He was there for every damn thing and I will never not be grateful to him. I never went without; he worked his fingers to the bone until he fell ill.

I hated that he was leaving me, but I knew that it was out of my control.

Sighing heavily, I feel his hand on my shoulder, and I turn to look at him.

“You need to stop biting his head off,” he gives me a small smirk, but I know that he is only smirking to soften his scolding.

I know he is right.

But I am bitter.

And I am allowed to be.

By gaining Pacey, I'm losing my pops.

And I wasn't ready for that.

“He isn't a bad kid, there is no way I would have chosen him if he was,” his grip on my shoulder tightens. “Don't ruin this before it has even started Morgan, I know this isn't what you wanted; it's not what I wanted, but this is the hand we have been dealt and whilst I can still make choices that I feel are best for you and this ranch, then I will make them. Rivera was the right call. He will fix this ranch up like it is his own, he will work hard, and he will support and care for you.” I lower my head so he can't see the tears that prick in my green eyes.

“If you're really that unhappy, once I am gone and the ranch is out of trouble, then divorce him. Just don't take him off the deeds. I don't trust anyone but you and him, I can't have the risk of someone swooping in and taking my legacy away.”

I roll my head up as my eyes volley between his and I suck in a breath.

“We will work together, I may not always see eye to eye with him, but I'll try and not be so harsh...” I pause when I hear the sound of the creek on the bottom step before I see his head pop up as he climbs the stairs.

“That's my girl,” he places a kiss on my cheek before turning his back and patting Pacey on the chest as he passes him then disappearing into his room, closing the door behind him.

I allow myself to look at him, skating my eyes up and down his body.

I wish I didn't find him attractive, it really would help with this whole situation, but of course he has to look like he has been hand carved by God himself.

He stops in front of me and my stomach knots when his whiskey eyes burn into mine.

“How was your mom?” I ask, eyes dropping to the linen laundry bag that his fist is clinging to.

“Good, knitting,” he lifts his chin, his voice raspy. He goes to step around me after an agonising minute of silence, but I step in front of him.

“Look,” I drop my gaze for a moment before my sights are back on him. “I know I am a lot, I have not been very welcoming to you...” I knot my fingers in front of me and see the way his lips twist into a half smile. “But this is all new to me, I kind of feel a little out of sorts with it all... and well, you're you... I'm me. At Randy's that random Friday night I was feeling brave, I remembered you from the wedding, and well, I had a little fun being flirty. Never thought I would see you again and then a few weeks later you're in my kitchen and I am being told that we're to be married.” I take a breather, swallowing down the dryness in my throat. “And here we are, married, living in a house together and I'm sure it's not just me who can feel the tension that brews between us... and I am worried that this is how we're going to live our life out. Worried that I am stopping you from finding your one true love,” and the rest of my words get stuck at the back of my throat after the words that slipped past my lips.

“You're not,” his voice is flat as he answers me, “trust me, there is no one out there for me.”

I have no idea why, but it feels like he has just plunged a knife straight into my heart, and just when I finally catch my breath,he twists it up, slicing it open and watching as I bleed out in front of him.

“Cool, that's all I was worried about,” and tears mist my eyes, but I stand tall, my voice quiet as I roll my shoulders back.

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