Page 68 of Glass Jawed
She stops again. Not for long. Just enough to reset her breath, I think. I can’t see her face from here, but I feel the unraveling.
It keeps happening.
She keeps pausing. A hesitation here. A hand rubbing her eyes there. But she doesn’t fully collapse. Doesn’tletherself.
She’s barely holding it together, and somehow that’s worse.
Eventually, she turns left—into the small public park behind her building. The one with dim lights and a few wooden benches. Homeless tents are scattered across the grass. She doesn’t hesitate as she walks in. Doesn’t even look around.
She just drops onto a bench like her bones gave up.
I stay hidden near a hedge, far enough to keep myself invisible.
But I see her.
Even in the dark, I see her.
She’s hunched forward, like her body is too heavy. Like devastation is pressing down on her spine. Her hair is a mess, her shoulders shaking again. Her hands fumble with her tote until she pulls out her phone.
Her fingers tremble so violently it takes her a moment just to unlock the screen.
She is making a call.
My chest aches with hope—for a second I wish it’sme.
But whoever it is, they don’t answer.
I watch her close her eyes. Her thumb hovers. Then she types something.
She doesn’t hit send right away. Just stares at the screen. Then slowly lowers the phone into her lap, her hand still clutching it.
She looks around after that and she looks... dejected.
She’s not trying to spot someone.
But it’s as though she’s searching. Hoping. Asking silent questions to a universe that’s given her nothing but loss and pain.
And I know. Iknowwhat she’s asking.
Why did this happen to me?
What did I do to deserve this?
Nothing, I answer inside my useless, empty head.
Nothing, baby. You didn’t do a goddamn thing wrong.
And then... she starts shaking.
Not the soft trembles from earlier. Not tears. This isdifferent.
It’s erratic. Shallow. Her back curves inward like her chest is tightening.
No. No—no, please. Notthis.
She’s having a panic attack.
And all I can do is stand here like the pathetic coward I am, watching the wreckage I created unravel in real time.
