Page 21 of Durango

As I approach Durango’s house, my stomach churns. I walk up the steps to the front door and stand there without knocking. My nerves are trying to take over. Tonight is the night. I’m going to tell Durango my story. Something I’ve put off for so many months now.

The door swings open. I jump, startled.

“Did you knock?” he asks.

The smell of his shampoo hits me first, and it turns me on. Then I take in Durango. He’s wearing jeans and a fitted T-shirt. He’s lost some muscle mass these past few months, but he still has so much more than most men.

“No, not yet,” I say.

He steps aside, and I walk in.

“I’ll order a pizza. Pepperoni okay?”

“Sure.” I hide my smile.

Piper shared that Durango likes to order pizza a lot, to the point that she doesn’t want to see another pizza again for a long time.

After he orders the food, he motions for us to sit on the couch. “Do you want anything to drink? A beer?”

I sit down. “You wouldn’t happen to have green tea, would you?”

He frowns. “Sorry, no tea.”

“Water will be fine. Thanks.”

He returns a moment later with two glasses of water. Then, he sits on the other end of the couch. The air is thick, and I’ve never felt so uncomfortable around him.

He continues to sit there and not say a word. There is a ticking sound. My eyes roam the room until I spot a clock on the wall.Tick. Tock.Finally, I can’t take it anymore.

“You said we need to talk,” I start.

He nods. “A couple of months ago, I told you to take all the time you need. And I really wanted to mean that. But the longer you take, the more I’m in my head, thinking you just want to be friends.” He holds up his hand. “And if that’s true, that’s fine. I won’t like it, but I’ll live with it. But Piper told me not to give up because you’re dealing with something big.”

He leans forward and grabs his glass of water. “And I guess what I’m trying to figure out is why you were able to confidewhatever is going on to Piper, but you can’t talk to me.” His eyes meet mine. They are filled with expectation and a little fear.

My heart is pounding so loudly that it’s about all I can hear now. My mouth is dry as I search for the words I need to say. I grab my water and drink half of it down.

“Madison, Alicia, Piper, and I were at happy hour one night, and I’d had my fair share of margaritas. Piper told me briefly about what she went through with her ex and then asked me what my story was. At that moment, talking to Piper was easy because she’s dealt with a controlling, abusive ex, and she understood how a person can get caught up in a situation like that.”

He leans back. “You had a controlling, abusive ex?”

I set the glass down and lean back on the couch. “Sort of.” I take a deep breath. “I’ve wanted to tell you what happened all these months, but I also haven’t wanted to tell you. You will think less of me.”

He scoots closer and takes my hand in his. “It sounds like you had an asshole ex. Trust me, between Piper’s ex and her sister’s ex-husband, I’ve seen how they control people. I won’t think less of you.”

I nod. “That’s what my ex did. He controlled me. Everything about me.” I stand up, pulling my hand from his. There is no way I can tell this story and look him in the eye, so I pace behind the couch instead.

“About ten years ago, I moved from Virginia to Oregon. Portland specifically. I got a job and decided to make a fresh start. It was at a tech startup company. For four years, I was happy. I loved my job, and I had a great group of friends. It was through one of these friends that I met Tyler.”

I glance over, and Durango is watching me closely but patiently waiting for me to continue.

“Tyler seemed great. At first. We dated for six months before he asked me to move in with him.”

He coughs and then reaches for his water. “You two were serious?”

I nod. “You have to remember; this was after everything that happened with Ozzie. I was certain you had no interest, so I was trying to move on. Tyler seemed nice, so I agreed and moved in. A few months after I moved in, he started to change. It was subtle at first, and I thought I was imagining things.”

I feel so stupid saying it out loud. “He really had me convinced a lot of issues I had with him were in my head. There was a time when I thought I was going a little crazy. And because of that, I didn’t confide in my friends about what was happening.”

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