Page 57 of Up in Smoke

Maybe not the best idea on an empty stomach, but I might as well get started now. I know an incoming night of drinking when I see one. Weekday or not.

“Marriage is not the death of your dreams,” I argue. “Not when you don’t have any dreams to begin with.” I tap my index finger on the side of my head while taking a long swig. “It’s the death of everything else, though,” I make sure to add. “This, for example.”

I gesture to the three of them sitting at the kitchen island. Their boots in a line by the door. The entire place. Everything we’ve known for the past decade or more.

“Here we go,” Heston sighs.

They stare at me like they’re waiting for me to smile or crack a joke to make them all laugh. My teeth grind instead, and nothing about my expression says anything but fuck off. I don’t want to hear shit about Gage getting married or anything that reminds me of what I can’t have. I damn sure don’t like thinking about how everything and everyone around me insists on changing, either.

I liked the way things were—free and easy. I want it all back.

“You’re a ball of cake and rainbow sprinkles tonight. I take it shit finally hit the fan with Mesa,” Warren says, fixing me with the sharpest look. It’s some sort of big-brother energy, and I don’t like it one bit.

With a long swig, I try to steady the frantic thoughts in my head. I know I’m just overreacting, tired, and fresh out of composure. I need to get over myself. My eyes close as I swallow down my cynicism right along with the beer.

I grab the second bottle, toss the already empty one, and walk away. Still, his voice follows me down the hall.

“Savannah said Mesa was a ray of sunshine when she visited her this afternoon,” Warren blurts out.

My feet stop. The subtle buzz I was working on fizzles out completely.

I turn my head just enough. “She did?”

Warren nods with a smile because I fell right into his enticing trap. “Yep. Savvy told me some things, you know. She said you and Mesa really care about each other.”

Gage leans back in his seat and looks at me. “Now’s the part where you pretend you don’t care but quiz him about how she looked or what she said and if she mentioned you.”

Even Heston waits with a hint of curiosity.

I don’t do that. They know this.

But hell, I want to. I want every detail. Why was Savvy visiting Mesa? Is it because Mesa didn’t want to hang out with me today? And did she mention we kissed and fooled around and now she can’t stop thinking about it?

I’m losing it, and I’m pretty sure all three of my friends can tell.

“What kind of shit is this?” I say, putting up a front. “Y’all look like a circle of gossipy sorority sisters conspiring together. Stop worrying about me. Annoying as fuck.”

I sigh, turning back toward my room. My phone buzzes before I step inside and check the screen. The incoming call from Mesa cuts off before I have the chance to answer. Then four missed call notifications from her pop up.

20

TRIPP

The porch lightsare on when I pull in at Mesa’s house ten minutes later. I walk up to the front door that’s wide open and letting in the evening breeze. A conversation carries outside before I have a chance to walk in.

“It’s fine,” Mesa says. “My friend is coming to get me.”

“If you say so,” another girl says with a laugh.

“I do,” Mesa answers smugly, and I picture her sticking her tongue out. “Now give me your hand. I learned how to read palms at summer camp.”

I chuckle, realizing how tipsy she sounds. Neither of them notices me when I finally step forward to lean against the doorway. Mesa’s house feels like a fucking oven. She and her friend are sitting on the floor, facing away from me.

It doesn’t register at first, but once I put the voice and the pale blonde hair together, the blood in my ears starts to pound. Hattie Jo laughs while Mesa holds her palm in her hand to read the lines.

“Two marriages. One love,” Mesa says dramatically. “Oh my gosh.”

Hattie gasps like Mesa’s prophecy is gospel. “What does yours say?”

---