Page 89 of A Rift in the House of Bruin

“It’s not.” He gulped, choking back his tears. “I have… to tell you…” He paused between labored breaths. “I’m sorry.”

“Jase—”

“No… let me.” He groaned, trying to lift his head. “I tried to stop him sooner. I didn’t… I was a fool. I’ve made so many…wrong choices. I… I denied… my fate. Denied my beast. And now… I’m paying the ultimate price.” He swallowed hard. “Michaela… I love you.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Tears spilled freely down my cheeks. Consumed with emotion a silent scream erupted from my chest. “Why?” The word broke out in a sob. Why, if he loved me, had he betrayed me so violently?

“I was… afraid.” He coughed, blood seeping from the corners of his mouth. “I’ve never… never felt… such overwhelming desire. Mic…” He reached for my face, brushing away my tears. “It’s too late.” His eyes closed. His brow furrowed and he let out a groan of agony. “Forgive…”

“Jase,” I called, trying to rouse him. He was on death’s doorstep, and fading quickly. “Jase? Don’t leave me. Not yet. I…”

“Forgive… me,” he whispered.

“I forgive you,” I cried. “Please, don’t leave me.”

I was drowning in fear. Lost in a rising tide of heartbreak. I had to tell him before he was gone. He couldn’t die not knowing.

“I love you, Jase.”

He stared back at me blankly. His body limp in my arms.

“Jase? No, no, no.”

He was gone.

“Please,” I sobbed, pulling him into my arms, rocking him back and forth. “I love you. I love you,” I repeated, praying he would somehow be able to hear me in death.

The morning had finally arrived, bathing the two of us in a puddle of light, giving a false warmth to skin that had long since grown cold. I knew my arms should ache from holding him all night, from pressing on a wound that had stopped bleeding hours ago. But I was numb. My face felt tight, a reminder of the countless tears I’d shed. They’d finally subsided when my body had nothing left to give. But I knew they’d return.

I fixated on the back of my hand, entranced by the blood that had dried there, memorizing the pattern of cracks. Wondering if my soul looked the same. I was in shock, and somehow that was easier than the thoughts that took turns tormenting me. At this point, I welcomed the madness.

My emotions swung wildly. One moment, I was sure that if I just held him for a little while longer, he’d stop staring at the wall, past what my eyes could see, and tell me everything was alright. The next, I was back in the nightmare where Jase was dead, and it was my fault. If I had never come to Hiraeth, none of this would’ve happened. Gunner would still be alive. So would Jase.

I had become the one thing I hated most. A harbinger of death. A curse on the House of Bruin. Had I unwittingly made a bargain with the reaper? Every time I denied him my soul, was it another notch in his belt against me? Another life to be claimed in my stead?

His dagger still lay beside him. I picked it up with shaking fingers, wiping Johan’s blood from the silver blade. He hadn’t even bothered to take it. A testament to his assessment of me—I was no threat. A fragile human girl posed no challenge to him, and my perceived vulnerability made anger well inside me. Not because he’d underestimated me, but because he was right. I had done nothing to save Jase. Or Gunner. I was a liability to everyone I loved, and the knowledge made me sick.

I gripped the blade in my hand, the cold steel of the hilt biting into my palm. I hadn’t been able to save Jase or anyone else with this knife, but maybe I could spare the lives of those who loved me. If I ended my life here and now, no one else would suffer for me. No more lives lost because of me. No more pieces of my soul stripped away.

The more I allowed myself to go down that dark path, the more it felt like mercy. I lifted the blade to my wrist, laying it across my pulse. It would be so easy. A single cut. With Jase still in my arms, I could go with him. “I’m sorry, Gwen,” I whispered to my sister, my emotions caught thick in my throat. The tears breaking loose again.

But before I could move, shadows poured from my palms, curling around the dagger. The darkness snapped me out of my spiraling thoughts. The blade dropped from my hand and hit the floor with a dull thud.

“Jase?” I breathed, hope leaching into my mind. I scurried out from under him, his body lying limp on the floor. I had seen his shadows. They had stopped me from doing the unthinkable. That meant something—didn’t it?

I dropped my head to his chest, listening. Desperate for a heartbeat. But there was only silence.

The door burst open. “Oh my Divine, My Lady! Are you alright?” Mirabelle’s voice filled the room as she rushed in, eyes wide at the macabre scene before her.

“Mirabelle,” I said her name like a plea. “Help me. Please! I think he’s still alive.”

She dropped beside me as I leaned over him. I saw the moment her panic faded into resignation.

“Michaela… look at me.” She grabbed my shoulders, gently pulling me upright. I met her eyes, already knowing what she was going to say. I could see it written all over her face.

“Don’t say it,” I whispered. “Don’t. I can’t take it.” I raked my fingers through my hair, my voice rising. “You haven’t even listened. You don’t know for sure.”

“I don’t need to,” she said softly. “He’s gone, Michaela.” She let the finality of her words sit heavy between us as I shook my head, refusing to believe it. “You know it’s true. You can feel it.”

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