Page 100 of The Fake Husband Play
We win 4-2, but it feels hollow, fake.
In the locker room, the rest of the team gives me a wide berth as they celebrate, making plans to grab a late dinner or drinks near the hotel. I take my time in the shower, ensuring the room is nearly empty by the time I emerge.
It’s just Parker and Blue waiting for me as I sag bag onto the bench.
“So, what’s up? You think this is the end?” Parker asks.
I shake my head. “No. No way, I just…” I drag a hand through my damp hair. “I don’t know what to think right now. It feels complicated all of a sudden.”
“It’s always been complicated,” Parker counters. “I mean, you married a woman you barely know.”
“He knows her,” Blue says softly. “And she knows him.”
“He’s right,” I whisper. “That’s how it is with us. It feels like I’ve always known Elly. Like I’ve just been waiting for her, if that makes any sense. I know it doesn’t, but…”
“No, it does,” Parker says. “I mean, if you’re aromantic with a sappy streak a mile wide, it does. Which, you are.”
I reward the attempt at a joke with a twitch of my lips.
“And you two seem happy together,” he adds.
“We are,” I whisper, hating that it feels like a lie.
It’s not a lie, but…is it really the truth, either? When we’ve both been keeping big secrets?
“Talk to her,” Blue says. “Not tonight or on the phone. In person.”
I nod. “We made plans for brunch at home tomorrow while Mimi’s at school. Elly’s been wanting to talk to me about something anyway, so…” I shake my head, suddenly feeling like a complete idiot. “Probably about this! Fuck, I’m so stupid.”
“You’re not,” Blue says. “You have a lot going on. Learning to be a husband and a father and the leader of a new team is a lot for one man.”
“Yeah,” Parker agrees. “Give yourself some grace, man. And don’t end it with Elly. She’s my only in with Makena. I need you to throw a ‘Yay, we’re staying married’ party and invite both of us. Then, I’ll show up, looking fine as hell and super kissable, and Makena will have no choice but to make out with me after and fall hard for me and be my sex queen.”
Blue grunts.
“What?” Parker asks. “It’s a solid plan.”
“This isn’t about you,” Blue says.
“I mean, I’m here, aren’t I?” Parker says. “It’s at least a little bit about me.”
Grateful for a break in being the focus of attention, I change, pack up my gear, and am ready to roll by thetime Blue’s done giving Parker a pithy lecture about knowing when to embrace main character energy.
We grab wings and beer at a place near the hotel and carefully avoid talking about my personal life. We talk about Blue’s art class, Parker’s parents’ increasingly messy divorce, the new merch the Voodoo is rolling out to celebrate our winning streak, and the best places to get a Shrimp Po’ Boy by the airport.
Parker’s craving one, but doesn’t want to have to go all the way into the city center.
All I’m craving is for this night to hurry up and be over already so I can go to sleep and be that much closer to sorting things out with Elly.
We can sort this out. I know we can.
Or, at least I really hope so.
I go to sleep with hope and wake up to news that our flight’s been delayed due to storms in the southeast. We waste the entire day in the airport, bouncing back and forth between the lounge and the gate as our flight is scheduled then delayed, scheduled then delayed. I keep in touch with Elly via text, but I’m too nervous to call. I have a shit poker face, especially with people I love. She’d be able to see that something’s off, and I won’t be able to put her mind at ease from North Carolina.
We need to have this talk in person. I don’t know much for sure right now, but that feels like an absolute necessity.
By the time we finally take off, the sky is already growing dark, but still, I’ll be home by eight-thirty, nine at the latest. That’s not too late to have a serious talk, and if all goes well, we’ll be able to head to bed after and celebrate getting all our shit out in the open.
