“Something wrong?”

“No, quite the opposite.” I wiped the tears from my cheeks. “These are happy tears. I can’t believe I got to be one of your firsts.”

“Delilah,” he grabbed hold of my knees and pushed them into the mattress, opening me wide again for him to deliver a devastating deep thrust that killed the last laugh on my lips, “I fully plan on making you my last.” As if the words weren’t enough, Beck spilled himself into me. Giving me exactly what I’d asked of him. A last quiver trembled up my spine when his hips stilled.

With his charcoal eyes on me, Beck’s lips formed a simple five-letter-word:

Yours.

FIFTY-SIX

four weeks later

“Hey Blondie,what do I get if I win?”

“We don’t even have to discuss that, because you’re going to eat my dust.”

“Alright, then you’ll have no issue to agree that if I win, you get back in the ring with me. For real this time.” She’d gotten better over the last few weeks, since our staff had gotten mental health awareness training, but she still refused to let me go anywhere near her at the gym. I got that it brought back complicated emotions, but I hated the way she’d be happy and energetic with everyone at Vortex, only for her face to fall whenever she spotted me.

“That’s not going to happen because you’re not going to win.” Her chirpy voice filled my car.

“So you agree on the prize?”

“Fine.” She looked over, squinting at me through the windows of our cars. I saw her lips move, but her voice came through the speakers connected to my phone. “WhenI win, you wear a red ribbon the next time we go to Clandestine.”

Isaac cleared his throat. “You are aware that this is group call, right?”

“Done,” I said, ignoring Isaac.

“What’s Clandestine?” Tabitha piped up.

“Sex club,” both Cordelia and Defne replied.

“Why do you guys know about a sex club, and I don’t?”

“It’s quite expensive and exclusive to members only,” Cordelia explained.

“More than happy to take you some time,” Isaac replied.

“How doyouget into an exclusive-”

“Excuse me? Can we please get back to the real reason we’re here?” I could practically hear Delilah roll her eyes. “Preferably before the cars grow roots.”

“I got it. Don’t worry, I’m here.” Defne stepped up onto the road, positioning herself in line with the ten-foot gap between our cars. She’d dressed up in a black and white checkered mini dress and held flags in the same pattern in each hand. She fumbled with her headset that made her look more like she was about to give a pop concert than start a race. “Everyone ready?”

“Yep,” Del quipped.

“Yes,” I agreed.

We had gotten her father’s car out of storage, and it was almost entirely fixed up by now, but for this occasion both Del and I sat in much newer sports cars. After complaining about my driving one too many times, I’d finally told her to follow through on her promise from summer and race me. It had taken a while, her hand always falling back to the jagged scar along her ribs when I brought it up, but two days ago, she’d looked up from the papers she’d been grading and said, “I’ll beat you so bad, you’ll never get behind a wheel again.”

We’d driven two hours out of town, to acres upon acres of dirt that had been acquired by my grandfather but had never been developed.

“On your marks. Set.” Defne raised the flags above her head. “Go!” She brought the flags down and we tore off.

The gravel crunched beneath my tires and my engine roared as I ripped my car past Delilah’s. But then she easily slipped past at the first corner when my tires skidded over dust, her bubbly laughter ringing through the speakers.

She stayed in front of me, kept swerving to cut me off whenever I tried to make a move, but by the last turn we were neck-and-neck again. We shot over the finish line, and I had no idea who won, but Del’s loud hollering over the phone was infectious enough to make me laugh along with her.