“Yeah, I’m okay if you want to leave for a bit.”

“Thank you,” she said and turned on her heels.

“I mean, I kind of thought you were already doing it, considering that video of him pulling you into the bathroom and then your mic cutting out,” Tabitha said.

My spine stiffened. Of course I wouldn’t be able to escape the fake leak. Up until now, I had at least been blissfully unaware of which video Silas had picked. “You watched it?”

“We all did,” she retorted.

“Did you not check the group chat?” Del asked.

“No, I haven’t checked my phone today, but for what it’s worth, nothing happened in that bathroom.” I looked around the room. God, it was strange to have actual girlfriends to share these things with. I could have used more of that over the years, but this was good. Now was good. “What was it like for you guys? Losing your virginity?”

“Hmm, not great to be honest,” Del mused. One would think Tabitha would be the first to speak up about her sex life, but Del had become a lot more relaxed over the last few months. Being with Beck was good for her. She seemed less tense. “I think that’s just what happens when you lose it at 15. We were in his bedroom while his parents were out with friends for the night. Took less than 5 minutes, and I spent the entire time wondering if I was doing everything the way I was supposed to be doing it, wondering if his parents would come home early, wondering about the chances of the condom breaking.”

“Did it hurt?” I asked.

“A little.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Defne added, “mine was completely pain-free, and I actually had a good night. My ex took his time, so I had like two orgasms before we even got to the actual sex. At that point, I was ready to go.”

“Okay, so foreplay,” I concluded.

“Lots of lube. Just use lots and lots of lube,” Tabitha chimed in. When all of us kept our eyes on her, she groaned. “I technically did it myself, okay? I didn’t see the big deal. I wanted to hook up with random guys and I wasn’t going to wait around for some dude to stick his meat pipe into me once, just to get the first time out of the way. And what? Have him brag to all his friends that he banged a virgin?! My big sister was really cool about the idea and bought me a dildo when I asked her to. Didit hurt? Sure, but it was also a sparkling, pink silicone dick, so I can’t tell you if it’ll be different with an actual flesh one.”

I blinked as I let her story sink in. “I think you’re the coolest person I know.”

“Thanks.” She held up her tablet with a small boutique’s website opened. It showed a lacy empire waist dress fit for a regency romance. “Del, I think I found your dress.”

“Gimme,” Del’s eyes lit up and her hands shot forward.

“Areyou sure you want to stay up?” Del asked as she climbed off the sofa, a pile of magazines in her hands.

The others had cleared out earlier, leaving us with too much food and too many haphazard bridal magazines. Del had spent the last hour going through them again with color-coded sticky notes, while I worked on the plans for the pond. We’d have to get that installed in time for the lawn to recover and the new plants to get settled, or the aisle would be a mudslide.

“Yeah, just a little longer.” I glanced towards the door. Victor usually didn’t come home this late without giving me a heads-up.

“I’ll be reading for a while if you need anything.”

“You’re not going to call Beck?”

“Sure,” she grinned sheepishly, “but I like reading while he’s on the phone. Just hanging out together.”

“I get it,” I said, trying to suppress the aching in my voice. Based on Del’s sympathetic smile, I didn’t do a good job at it.

“I’m sorry. Let me know if there’s anything you need, okay?”

Once she was gone, Irina walked in and we cleared away the leftovers. We both stood in front of the loaded dishwasher with puzzled expressions though. Turned out, Irina had grown up with just as much household staff as I had. We watched a YouTube tutorial and immediately failed because we couldn’tfind the dishwasher tabs. In the end, we left it. Victor or our housekeeper would know how to handle this. Heck, maybe Del would know.

By Irina’s third yawn, I sent her to bed.

When I had finalized the list of plants for the pond to make it a welcoming habitat for fishes and frogs and ducks, I finally picked up my phone again. I ignored all the notifications and brought up the only chat that had been quiet all day. Which wasn’t like him at all.

Cordelia • 3:32am

Are you alright?

At some point,I must have fallen asleep on the sofa, because I woke up to the sound of the coffee machine, my phone stuck in the crook of my neck.