Page 101 of Pistols and Plush Toys

Elliot couldn’t help it, more tears squeezed from his eyes. His arms unlocked and he took Max, crushing him to his chest. “It’s okay,” he mumbled through tears, burying his wet face against the soft fur of the bear.

No one had ever offered him a stuffed animal for comfort before. Not since he was a literal kid.

But Nikolai had. Nikolai had seen Elliot flinch from him, from a comforting touch, and so instead he’d brought Elliot Max. A way to offer touch without contact.

Nikolai was possibly the most thoughtful person Elliot had ever known.

The blankets moved, and when Elliot peered up beyond Max, he could see Nikolai reaching around him carefully to find Apricot and Sheep. Gently, so gently as to not touch Elliot, he tucked one on each side of him, right up against his hips. It was almost like getting a real hug. Like being surrounded in comfort.

“T-thank you,” Elliot said when he could speak.

“I’m sorry you are upset,” Nikolai said, still speaking low. “You want to talk?”

Elliot bit his lip and then made himself release it. “I just had a nightmare. About Mattia. About… about the plan not working.”

That was sort of the truth. His lip wobbled, and he took a deep breath. His arms squeezed around Max. Stupidly, he was so, so glad that Max was fixed. He’d been hurt by Mattia too, in a roundabout way.

And Nikolai had said he was going to fix Max, and he had.

Nikolai reached slowly for Sheep and picked him up. He pressed Sheep’s nose to Elliot’s shoulder. “Plan will work. Mattia will not hurt you any more.”

Elliot swallowed and thought abouthe’s going to pay for touching what’s mine. “I don’t want anyone else to get hurt either.”

“I know,” Nikolai murmured. Sheep pressed another kiss to Elliot’s shoulder and then a line down his arm. Elliot had to suppress a shiver as Sheep’s soft nose brushed over his bare skin. “We are doing best to avoid it. But you are safe, Elliot. We go through employee records again, but just in case, only Alex and Pyotr come here now. Maybe Katyana sometimes.”

Elliot nodded. He believed Nikolai when he said Elliot was safe. He did.

But.

“What if he hurts you?” Elliot asked, his voice small.

Sheep trailed down his other arm, and when he got close enough to his hand, Elliot allowed himself to release Max and offered his palm. Sheep’s soft nose nuzzled there.

“He won’t,” Nikolai said firmly. “Vitale, he is not strong man. Is coward. His family are wanting him to go away. He has no friends, no loyalty. I have both. Gerard and Meredith would not let me die.”

Nikolai made it sound so simple. Like it was a foregone conclusion.

Elliot turned his hand over to brush across Sheep’s soft fur. “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me. Because I’m hiding away here like a coward.”

“You are not coward,” Nikolai said, in a tone that brooked no argument. “You are very brave. Very strong.”

Elliot almost laughed. He was curled up pathetically in his bed, having sweat through his shirt from a nightmare. He felt the exact opposite of strong and brave. “I’m not.”

“You are,” Nikolai said, in that same firm tone. “Brave, strong man. You were hurt. Is hard to be brave again after that. But you’re leaving with me when I come for you. Very brave. I think so many times.”

This time, as Sheep stroked back up his arm, Elliot leaned a bit more into it. “I was just too afraid to stay,” he said quietly. “Afraid of what–what he’d do next.”

Nikolai scowled darkly before he shook his head and cleared his expression. “Very brave,” he said again.

Elliot sniffed again and Sheep paused where it was still touching his elbow. A moment later Nikolai was reaching out to snag the box of tissues on Elliot’s bedside table. He offered the box to Elliot.

“Thank you,” Elliot said, feeling foolish for not thinking to reach for the box himself. He blew his nose, then used a second tissue to mop up most of his face. “Sorry again. For waking you.”

“Is nothing,” Nikolai said softly. “Glad you are okay. Safe.” Sheep, who was at Elliot’s other shoulder now, moved in gently, so gently, and nuzzled against his cheek.

Elliot let out a long breath, and his tension went with it. Now the emotions had finally passed.

Exhaustion immediately started pulling him back down.

---