Page 110 of Pistols and Plush Toys

What in the world was wrong?

“I’m, um, I’m almost done if you want to take a seat at the table.”

When the coffee machine delivered him a fresh cup, Nikolai took it to the table, turning the problem over in his mind. There were a lot of reasons Elliot might still feel skittish, but he’d tensed whenNikolaihad come in the room, and was continuing not to look at him. Had Nikolai done something?

It had to have been recent—Elliot was perfectly comfortable with him last night—

Last night. Was Elliot upset because of the way Nikolai had come into his room? Nikolai had touched Sheep—had used Sheep to touchElliot.He’d done it before and he’d thought it would be okay, but…

But maybe Elliot felt uncomfortable now about what Nikolai had done.

Nikolai sipped his coffee and watched as Elliot spooned the oatmeal into two bowls, covering it with freshly diced strawberries and a drizzle of honey. Nikolai wasn’t exactly a fan of oatmeal because it always tasted like cardboard, but he was eager to try Elliot’s version. Elliot hadn’t been cooking for Nikolai for all that long yet, but already Nikolai expected that whatever Elliot served him would be tasty.

Elliot set Nikolai’s bowl down in front of him and then took his own seat with his own bowl. Nikolai picked up his spoon at once.

Instead of cardboard, the oatmeal wasdelicious.Sweet from the strawberries and vanilla and honey. The brightness of fresh fruit meshed incredibly well with the sweetness of the honey.

“Mmm, is good,” Nikolai said when he finished his bite. “Is surprising. I’m have oatmeal before, tastes like cardboard. This much better.”

Elliot had been watching him, because he always looked to see how Nikolai enjoyed the first bite, but now his gaze skittered away.

“I have best chef,” Nikolai continued, smiling at him. Would that help set Elliot more at ease? “Make even cardboard tasty.”

“I-I’m glad you like it,” Elliot said, pinkening further. He ducked his head, focusing on his bowl.

Nikolai tilted his head and did his best to hide his frown.Wasit something Nikolai had done? Had he overstepped last night, in Elliot’s room?

He hadn’t meant to. He’d just wanted to—to see Elliot one more time before he turned in. To wish him good night.

That first night, when Elliot had had his nightmare, Nikolai had comforted him with Max and Sheep and it had been okay. Last night…

Last night Elliot had let him come in, and let Nikolai see him dressed down and cozy with his stuffed toys. Let Nikolai see him vulnerable and soft and so beautiful, and Nikolai had wanted—

Nikolai had wanted to hold him.

But he wasn’t allowed to do that. He’d furiously told himself that the night of Elliot’s nightmare, when Elliot had flinched from his touch. He’d reminded himself of that last night as well, for the same reason. So he’d used Sheep.

Maybe… maybe that was no longer okay?

Nikolai took several bites of oatmeal and watched as Elliot moved his spoon around his bowl, eating one tiny bite for Nikolai’s three. At least he was eating, if slowly. So he wasn’t so anxious and nervous that he felt sick. That was something.

He could still eat in Nikolai’s presence.

But the silence that reigned was awkward. Nikolai wasn’t sure if Elliot would welcome conversation from him. And he didn’t want to distract Elliot from eating by making him more upset.

So instead Nikolai ate his oatmeal and just observed Elliot. He was still bruised, the dark purple starting to fade into more of a sickly green. A reminder that he was barely out of Vitale’s clutches.

Certainly Nikolai could stand to not make Elliot even more uncomfortable.

He took another bite of breakfast, savoring it, but though he tried to keep his eyes off Elliot, they kept moving back of their own accord. Back to the bruising.

It still looked painful and tender. Nikolai wondered now how the one on Elliot’s torso was doing.

“Do you need more cream for your bruising?” Nikolai asked. That was probably safe, right?

Elliot looked up from his bowl. “Oh, um, I-I guess so? I’m almost through with the tube.”

Nikolai nodded. “I will get more.”

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