Page 120 of Pistols and Plush Toys

Elliot:I’m a lot better now. It’s been so much better now that I’m not with Mattia anymore.

Xander:That sounds like a huge improvement. Good for you for leaving!!

Elliot smiled down at his phone and decided to offer up something else.

Elliot:Thank you. Nikolai, the guy that I was with at your restaurant, he’s helped me a lot. He helped me leave, and for right now he’s letting me stay at his place.

Obviously not exactly how things had gone, but it was the closest version of the truth that he could give.

It was still painful to put into words just how bad everything had gotten with Mattia, but Elliot wanted to look forward. He was doing so much better now, and that’s what he wanted to focus on.

Xander:Gotcha, wow, okay. I’m glad you’re out of there!! And SAFE!!

Elliot:Me too.

Elliot:Sorry again to have disappeared on you and everyone. It was a shitty thing to do.

Xander:Hey, no. Look, it’s totally water under the bridge. It sounds like you had a lot you were trying to handle.I’m just happy I spotted you at Blue Snake and that you wanted to reconnect!

Elliot:I am too. I really did miss you.

Xander:I mean who wouldn’t ;P

That made Elliot laugh. He could picture Xander’s face and tone, as well as the wink he’d definitely be doing.

Xander:But really, I’m so happy we ran into each other. You’re going to get so annoyed with me wanting to hang out with you all the time now.

Elliot:I’d never get annoyed with you.

Xander:Well OKAY but maybe your friend would if I monopolize all your time.

Xander:Wait.

Xander:Are you and Nikolai together?? Or is he just helping out as a friend?

Xander:Wait, wait, is that too invasive of a question??

Xander:Don’t tell me if you don’t want to!!

Elliot read the string of texts once and then twice. He knew what heshouldtell Xander, if only because he and Nikolai were trying to keep to a certain story, but thinking about typing it made him blush. For some reason the idea of writing it out to Xander made it feel more real.

Maybe because to Xander it would be.

For a moment Elliot fell into the fantasy of it. If all of this were real. The dates, the dinners, the evenings after…

If Nikolai actually touched him.Kissedhim—

His face got hotter. What would it be like to have Nikolai kiss him? Hold him? What would it be like to be tucked in bed for the night with Apricot and Max and Sheep andNikolai…

A jolt went down his whole body and Elliot swallowed hard. Fuck, he shouldn’t be thinking about that. Nikolai wasn’t actually interested in him. He was kind, so utterly kind to Elliot, because Elliot was in a bad spot right now, but there was nothingbeneath the surface of the dates they were going on. That was all to lure Mattia back to the states.

Nikolai was too good for Elliot anyway. He was handsome and powerful and wealthy, with a devastating smile and a delightful sense of humor. He had several successful businesses and close friends that he’d loved for twenty years. What was Elliot to someone like that? Elliot, who was meek, who still jumped at shadows and flinched when Nikolai tried to reach out to offer comfort.

He made himself type a response.

Elliot:It's okay. And yeah, we’re… I guess you’d call it dating. We’re figuring things out?

That was a safe enough response, right? It didn’t commit to too much.

---