Page 142 of Pistols and Plush Toys

But no one had to know.

Elliot started to move his hips against Fezzik again. Tentatively at first, and then with intention. He breathed hot against the bear’s fur, digging his fingers in around Fezzik’s neck. He liked that he could wrap his arms around Fezzik and hold onto him. It was such a different experience from Apricot or Sheep or even Max, who’d been the biggest previously.

Fezzik wasmassive.He covered Elliot in the best way, and the weight of him was another layer of pleasure. Fezzik wouldn’t keep holding him if he wanted it to stop. Fezzik was safe, just likeNikolaiwas safe—

Elliot gasped, the thought coming unbidden of Nikolai holding him down in this way, letting Elliot grind against him sohe could bring them both pleasure. The picture of it made him burn, hips bucking up out of his control as he started to harden.

He should stop.He should stop.But instead he nuzzled into Fezzik’s fur, hands clutching tight as he squirmed underneath the bear.

It felt so good,fuck.Before he came to Nikolai, when was the last time Elliot had felt good? Or been treated like he was interesting, or had value?

He gasped again, shuddering and trying to still his hips. He had to be quiet. His bedroom door was closed and Nikolai’s room was down the hall, but it wasn’t impossible that Nikolai might hear him. He’d come to Elliot’s room before when he’d heard Elliot having nightmares.

What if… what if he heard Elliotnowand came to his door?

Elliot bit at his lip to keep the moan in as his hips pushed up. Pleasure and heat were building in his core.

If Nikolai opened the door, what would happen? He—he wouldn’t be angry, no, nor disgusted, Elliot was sure. Nikolai was too good for that. Too gentle with Elliot, to act cruelly.

Maybe… maybe instead, Nikolai would be curious. Like how he’d turned to look at Elliot when they’d paused in front of the stuffed animal stall. Like he was there, if Elliot wanted to share. Open, if Elliot wanted to let him in.

Elliot wanted to let him in.

Then what? Would he sit beside and watch? Or would he touch Elliot with Fezzik like he had the other animals?

“Is what you like?”

Elliot could hear the thick tone of Nikolai’s accent, feel the warm weight of his gaze. He turned and buried his face against Fezzik, cheeks burning as his hips kept moving.

His boxer-briefs were still a layer of fabric between him and the fur, and he desperately wanted to shove them down andaway, to let his skin slide against that soft body. But he couldn’t let himself.

His whole body kept moving, his nipples peaked and sensitized by the fur. It was a slow boil, just enough to tease, just enough to get lost in.

“Easy.”

It was Nikolai's voice again in his head. With his eyes closed, Elliot could imagine his presence beside him. The way he’d watch, steady and without judgment. Maybe with eyes full of interest.

A full body shudder went through him, and he bit his lip harder on another moan. No, Nikolai wouldn’t—he didn’t want Elliot like that. Nikolai was good and kind, but he wouldn’t—he didn’twant Elliot.

The fur had grown wet where Elliot was panting against it, and it stuck to his cheek. Every move of his hips brought new zips of pleasure through him, and the ache of want cracked open inside him. Maybe Nikolai wouldn’t think he was bad for this. He’d just clean Fezzik up afterward, make him as good as new, like he had with Max after Elliot had been taken. Elliot could—

Elliot squirmed underneath the bear, his heartbeat a rabbit kick in his chest. He held Fezzik tight, moving beneath him, muffling his sounds within the fur.

If Nikolai ever touched Elliot, he would be so soft with him. He’d felt Nikolai’s hands on him a few times now, guiding him along or smoothing lotion onto his bruises. He’d always been attentive and gentle. If Elliot wanted it, Nikolai would pull him close and press him down and praise him as Elliot lost himself to pleasure.

Elliotdidwant it. He hadn’t wanted anything like this in so, so long, but it was like a pulsing, live thing under his skin. It was the warmth burning him through, the ticklish sensation ofthe fur. It was the idea that he might share this with someone and not be hurt by it.

“Show me how good you are feeling, sweetheart. How good Fezzik and I take care of you…”

Elliot moaned, undone at the thought of Nikolai holding him and Nikolai’s voice in his ear. His hips kept up his desperate motion, pleasure throbbing through him, and he started to come, biting his lip to stifle his cries.

It went on and on, longer than when Elliot actually touched himself. Certainly longer than he ever had with Mattia. It was as though he’d been coaxed to fullness, and now everything inside of him was pouring out.

By the time the aftershocks faded, Elliot was dry-throated and wrecked. His knees ached from where he’d unknowingly bent them, and he was sweaty and sticky everywhere.

He wanted nothing more than to just lie there under the heavy weight of Fezzik, but he couldn’t risk falling asleep. He needed to clean up and change.

He groaned as he pushed the bear off and cool air rushed in. With it came the guilt. A deep pain that Elliot had done something he shouldn’t have. Something bad.

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