Page 144 of Pistols and Plush Toys

“Fezzik,” he clarified, feeling wrong-footed. “Was nice to have him?”

But instead of an immediate glowing endorsement, Elliot gasped. It was a small catch of sound. Like he was offended? Like he couldn’t believe Nikolai would ask? Or was Fezzik not good? He had been sort of a gamble, considering all of Elliot’s other stuffed animals were small. But Elliot had seemed to like him. Elliot… Elliot had thanked Nikolai for him.

Thanked Nikolai so sweetly.

Nikolai wanted to ask, wanted to push, but he could sense it wasn’t going to go well. Whatever this jumpiness was from, he needed to move away from it.

Maybe that was it, maybe the questions were too close? Too invasive? They’d been in each other’s space so much since Elliot had come here.

Maybe he just needed Nikolai to back off, but was too sweet to say so.

“Y-yeah, um,” Elliot said, stilted. “Thank you.”

Right.He clearly needed some space.

“Good. I’m glad you like,” Nikolai said, taking his travel mug of coffee. He grabbed the matching lid and popped it on top. “Today I’m having meetings for my father’s work. Will be gone most of day. If you need anything, text Meredith. Okay?”

“Oh,” Elliot said, and turned toward him. “Um… be careful?” He made the request a question, as though he wasn’t sure if it was allowed.

Nikolai shrugged. “Should not be difficult.” Which was an understatement. Today would be routine, appearances he’d made for his entire adult life, but he would still rather be doing anything else. Would rather stay here with Elliot.

Unfortunately he had to pay his dues to his father. This was the price of the rest of his freedoms.

Elliot’s eyes drifted down to the travel mug in his hand. “If you’re leaving, here—let me pack you some muffins to take with you.” Elliot moved quickly to the cupboard where he pulled out an honest to goodness brown paper lunch bag. Three muffins went in and then he folded the top closed.

“Thank you,” Nikolai said, touched, as he took the bag.

Nikolai would miss this thoughtful, easy company in the mornings and evenings, and the hollowed out longing of a future without Elliot in it made Nikolai ache anew. It was one thing togo your whole life not knowing how hungry you were. Another to get a taste and live the rest of your life starving.

“I will be back by afternoon,” Nikolai said. “But Pyotr and Ivanov will be your home security.”

Elliot leaned back against the kitchen counter, his thumb tracing the edge of the marble. Nervous? Waiting for Nikolai to go? “Okay.”

Nikolai hesitated. Elliot was supposed to join him, Gerard, and Meredith for dinner this evening, but now Nikolai didn’t know if he should offer an out.

“Are you… still wanting to come out tonight?” He asked tentatively. “For dinner?”

But instead of looking more uncomfortable, Elliot brightened. “Oh! Um, no, yeah, if you still don’t mind me being there. I know it’s a celebration for you and Meredith and Gerard, but I’d–I’d like to be there with you all. To celebrate.”

The tension Nikolai hadn’t even realized had settled on his shoulders rolled off. Because he did want Elliot at the dinner. Tonight was a celebration dinner of sorts for Lucky Clover, which now had a tentative opening date at the end of the month. Mostly though it was just a good reason to get together that didn’t involve business. It had been too long.

And he wanted Elliot to be a part of that. Wanted him to be with Meredith and Gerard, Nikolai’s people.

“Good. Then later, yes? I will be back by afternoon. Have a good day,” Nikolai offered.

“You too,” Elliot said, with his sweet smile.

Nikolai took his coffee and his bagged breakfast and left, all too aware that that smile would help keep him going throughout the day.

***

Nikolai stepped outside, back into the sunshine. He felt the warmth hit his skin, and he tilted his head up into it as he put space between him and the building.

Several of his people were inside, going through clean up. They’d be dragging men back to cars to be dumped elsewhere and then hosing away the blood.

The men he’d had a “meeting”with today would live, because Nikolai was dedicated to that outcome, but it’d still been nasty business. One of the parts of the business he most hated.

But sometimes his father’s side of things demanded it.

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