Page 175 of Pistols and Plush Toys

Elliot shivered. “I just wanted you safe,” he whispered. “I knew he’d kill you a-and make ithurt,and I just thought if I could buy more time—”

“So good and smart and brave,” Nikolai said, pressing Sheep’s soft nose to Elliot’s shoulder as his piercing blue eyes met Elliot’s hazel ones. “My good, brave Elliot.”

Elliot sucked in a breath, goosebumps breaking out over his skin. “I… I’m so glad you’re okay. That he… won’t hurt anyone anymore.” He meant it, but it was hard to say.

“I’m glad too,” Nikolai said.

This close he could feel Nikolai's warm breath. Elliot bit his lip.

“No biting, ?????,” Nikolai said gently, pressing Sheep to Elliot’s cheek again.

“Sorry,” Elliot said, letting go. A half laugh, half sob came out of him. “Sorry,” he said again, voice thicker, “I’m just so glad… I’m so glad everyone’s okay.” Then he realized he wasn’t sure. “Everyone’s okay, right?”

“Yes,” Nikolai assured him. “Polina was only one who was shot, and you saw her. She is fine.”

Elliot nodded. He didn’t like that she’d been hurt, but he was glad he had seen her. That none of it had gone worse.

Sheep pulled away from him, and moments later Nikolai reached out. Slowly, giving Elliot plenty of time to pull away.

He didn’t.

Then Nikolai was cupping the side of his face, his thumb swiping away a tear that had fallen. There was barely any space left between them.

“Will you keep me?” Elliot asked, apropos of nothing. They’d talked about it in the restaurant, but that seemed like so long ago. So much had happened. “Do I… do I still get to have you?”

“Always,” Nikolai rasped, like a promise. His thumb wiped gently back over Elliot’s cheek.

Elliot’s hand found its way to Nikolai's shirt. The fabric was soft, like Nikolai had owned the shirt a long time. Elliot took hold of it and tugged Nikolai closer and then leaned forward that last bit of distance.

Nikolai’s lips met his in a soft, tentative press. It was a gentle question, asking if this was really what Elliot wanted.

He’d never wanted anything so badly.

Elliot’s hand slid up to Nikolai's neck, finding a spot there to hold on, to urge Nikolai closer.

It was clumsy, the first kiss. It had been so, so long since Elliot had kissed anyone with anything resembling desire. He’d forgotten the feeling, the swell underneath his breastbone where his whole body tuned in.

Nikolai didn’t rush him, letting their kisses spin out soft and sweet. He tasted like toothpaste and warmth and the pleasure of it wound slowly between them. But Elliot knew he couldn’t take things further, even though he burned to. It had been a long day and Nikolai was still injured–

Nikolai was still injured.

Elliot pulled back with a gasp. “Your face,” he said in distress.

“My face?” Nikolai's voice was deeper, rough. His eyes were dark. “What is wrong with my face?”

“You’re hurt. I–and your lip–” Elliot couldn’t believe he’d forgotten. He’d been looking right at Nikolai and had still gotten carried away. He had a split lip and kissing had to hurt. “I’m so sorry–”

A chuckle cut him off. “Is okay, ?????. I took the pain medication. It does not hurt. Even if it did, I would be stabbed many more times to kiss you more.”

Elliot’s breath stuttered.“Nikolai,”he said, not sure if he was aghast or delighted.

Nikolai laughed again, then leaned forward, eyes intent. “Can I kiss you more, ??????”

Heat flooded Elliot’s face and he pulled Nikolai back in, kissing him.

This time there was more heat to their kisses. It felt like coming back alive, his heartbeat picking up, the warmth filling every part of him.

His body arched against Nikolai, wanting more. It was like the cap on a bottle had come free, and the rest of the jumbled feelings of the day were spilling out. These weren’t sad or scared,they were doused with the need to keep hold of this man, to feel alive with this man.

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