Page 185 of Pistols and Plush Toys

Elliot keened as Nikolai stoked the fires of his pleasure, and he bent down, unable to help himself, as he sucked a small mark, then another on Elliot’s neck. He only forced himself to pull away to keep from leaving anything lasting.

“You are so beautiful,” Nikolai said. It was hitting him over and over again what a gift this was. The tenderness, theopenness. Things Nikolai had thought he would never be able to have.

But somehow he was here, with Elliot. Elliot who was letting him be this close. Who trusted him. Trusted Nikolai to hold him and trusted Nikolai to keep him safe.

“I will keep you,” he whispered into Elliot’s ear. “The way I feel… I have never had this.”

Elliot made a sound almost like a sob, and his head turned to catch Nikolai's mouth.

Nikolai kissed him and kissed him and kissed him, his body moving without thought, hips fucking into Elliot, urging him higher and higher.

“I want to take care of you,” Nikolai heard himself saying in between kisses. “I want to make you come. I want you in my bed, in my life—” Nikolai’s throat tightened on emotion and he had to swallow around it.“Elliot.”He said his name like a plea.

Suddenly Elliot was curling up against him, hands clutching hard where they’d found Nikolai's shoulders, nails digging in as his body went taut. In this he was silent, body shaking as he started to come. Nikolai felt it around him and he followed Elliot over the crumbling edge.

The orgasm crashed into Nikolai hard, wave after wave of it as he moved inside Elliot. For long perfect seconds there were no other thoughts except for Elliot, except for the pleasure woven around them.

It felt ruinous, the closeness, the easy affection. There would be no coming back from it. There would be no satisfaction with less, the way Nikolai had been going on before. In so little time Elliot had changed him.

The collapse on the other side came soft.

Nikolai felt his strength wavering after having supported himself the whole time on just his one good arm, so he shifted from on top of Elliot as he pulled out so he wouldn’t crush him.In the shuffling Sheep slid off somewhere in the blankets, but Nikolai couldn’t bring himself to fumble for the plush just then. He’d find Sheep later for a cleaning.

For now he stayed close, wrapping his arm around Elliot’s waist to pull him back in. They would get up and clean up and face the world soon, but Nikolai wanted just a few more moments with Elliot. Just a few more moments like this, tangled up together, as Nikolai breathed Elliot in.

The soft sigh against his throat that followed meant everything.

The room fell still and silent. Nikolai was warm and sweaty but already cooling down. His sheets were a wreck. He couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Nikolai?” Elliot said, breaking the silence from where his face was pressed to Nikolai's chest.

It took Nikolai an extreme amount of resilience to open his eyes. “Hm?”

He felt Elliot pull back and Nikolai looked down. There was a smile, heart-breakingly sweet.

“What?” Nikolai asked.

Elliot giggled. “It’s just—you look more tired now than after all of yesterday.” His smile dimmed, as if remembering why he shouldn’t find any of this funny.

Nikolai couldn’t have that. He cupped Elliot’s face with his good hand. “You wear me out, ?????.”

That got him a stifled laugh and a nose wrinkle. “Uh huh.”

“Is true,” Nikolai said, stroking his thumb over Elliot’s cheek. “No one is like you.”

“What do you mean?” Elliot asked.

“Before you, I could not be… open with partners,” Nikolai said. He lifted a shoulder. “I’m not wanting to be open, maybe.”

He watched Elliot’s face as he thought that over. “I’m glad you let me in,” Elliot said. “I… it’s so different with you.”

“Good different?” Nikolai asked.

“Yeah.” Elliot turned to kiss the palm of his hand, making Nikolai’s breath catch. “I feel more like me. More me than I’ve been in a long time.”

Nikolai smiled. “You should always be most you.”

“So I should always be with you?” Elliot said, with a playful grin.

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