Page 21 of Pistols and Plush Toys

He stepped toward the bags, taking a peek at the ones with clothing first. The bags were emblazoned with the name of a store Elliot didn’t recognize, but inside were several T-shirts, four pairs of sweatpants with drawstring waistbands, sets of underwear in different sizes, and a package of socks.

Things that would fit him, more or less comfortably. He didn’t know how he felt about that.

The other bag had brand-new travel sizes of shampoo, conditioner, mouthwash, and body wash. There were also two sealed toothbrushes, a pack of floss, and two different kinds of deodorant. Notably, there were no shaving razors.

Elliot busied himself with pulling out a change of clothes. The T-shirts were all plain cotton in neutral colors and the sweatpants were all black, so Elliot didn’t need to spend a lotof time choosing which ones to wear. He opened one of the packages of underwear and pulled out a pair, then did the same with the package of socks.

With his little armful of clothing, he turned his head back to Nikolai. The man was just standing there in the doorway, facing away. He seemed focused on whatever he was working on on his phone.

Still, Elliot hesitated. He wanted to believe that Nikolai was going to respect his privacy, but he had no reason to believe the manwould. Elliot was a… hostage here. Totally under Nikolai’s control.

Nikolai hadn’t really done anything so far to make him think he was going to look at or touch Elliot. He seemed more repulsed by Elliot than anything else.

But Elliot couldn’t shake the fear of it. Showers weren’t safe or private spaces when someone else was around. Elliot had learned that with Mattia.

It had almost been fun in the beginning, being looked at, wanted like that. The way Mattia would stroll into the bathroom and be unable to help himself, undressing and sliding into the shower stall with Elliot–

Elliot had no idea when it had become so uncomfortable. When he’d started timing his showers to be when Mattia was out of the house or asleep.

This wasn’t helping.

Elliot set the clothing on the floor right next to the shower, so he’d be able to grab them quickly, then got out the bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. He had no reason to think that Nikolai even liked men. So far everything about this situation had been businesslike. Straight forward. He’d said Elliot was beautiful, sure, but that didn’t really mean anything. He’d been trying to sell threats to Mattia at the time.

Odds were that Nikolai didn’t give a fuck what Elliot looked like, and Elliot was just getting worked up for no reason.

If that wasn’t the case, well, it… it wasn’t like Elliot had a choice in whatever might happen anyway. He doubted Nikolai would let him go back to the bedroom without showering, and he personally didn’t want to either. He hated how the sweat had dried itchy on his skin, how he reeked of fear stench. Slipping under the hot water might also help to ease the pounding headache he now had from all the crying.

Elliot took a deep breath, and made himself take the bottles over to the shower stall. It was clear glass, just like Mattia had at his place. It seemed like all rich people were the same in at least one way. There would be no hiding if Nikolai did decide to look at him. He’d just have to get over it.

All he could do was get it over with quickly.

Opening the door to the shower, Elliot set the bottles on one of the ledges. There was a fresh stack of towels and washcloths in the built-in shelving beside the shower, so he reached for the knob and turned the water on hot. Letting it start to fill the bathroom with steam, fogging up the glass doors to the shower.

He couldn’t help glancing back toward the door as he did, checking to see if Nikolai had moved. He hadn’t.

Elliot took a deep breath, and then another.You can do this.

He started to strip.

Elliot did so quickly, heart pounding as his cheeks flushed. He kept his eyes on the shower, unable to bear the possibility of looking over to discover that Nikolai was actually looking athim. He focused instead on getting off his clothes as quickly as possible, leaving them in a heap before he climbed into the shower. His hands were still shaking as he grabbed a washclothand the body wash, fumbling with the bottle before he managed to open it and pour soap onto it.

It was one of the quickest showers of his life. He washed his body with ruthless efficiency, taking a few precious extra seconds to make sure his feet were clean of grime. He scrubbed the shampoo through his hair and rinsed it out, resisting the urge to look toward the door, even when the hair raised on the back of his neck as though someone were watching him.

If Nikolai was, there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Elliot was a captive here.

He couldn’t bear the thought of taking any more time under the water, so he forewent the conditioner, finishing the shower in minutes. He barely rinsed off the last of the soap before he was reaching to turn the knobs off. His hand darted out to grab a towel and he hurriedly dried off, the only saving grace being that the glass doors had indeed fogged up with the heat of the water.

Heart in his throat, Elliot wrapped the towel around himself then slid the glass door the rest of the way open, glancing over at Nikolai despite every instinct in him screaming that he shouldn’t.

Nikolai was still there, still leaned against the doorframe. Still on his phone. Not looking.

Quickly, Elliot bent to scoop up the clothing he’d set on the bathmat. He turned away and dropped the towel, pulled on the underwear, then the shirt, then the sweatpants. He cinched the tie on the sweatpants to fit his waist, then stepped fully out of the shower. When he looked again, Nikolai still hadn’t moved.

He felt… better now that he was redressed. Clean and redressed.

Elliot reached back into the shower to pick up the towel to hang it up. He didn’t want to make Nikolai upset by being untidy. Then he pulled on the clean pair of socks before headingback to the bags. He got out the toothbrush and toothpaste and went about scrubbing his mouth down. He followed it up with mouthwash to clear the last of the sickness from his palate.

All in all, it had to have taken less than fifteen minutes for him to clean up. Feeling clean was doing wonders for him though. The fear and anxiety of the morning had turned down if only slightly, and even the headache had retreated to a manageable throbbing behind his temples. He went and rolled up the bundle of his dirty clothes together before edging up to Nikolai where he was still tapping away at his phone.

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