Page 26 of Pistols and Plush Toys

The exact opposite reaction Nikolai wanted. At least Brooks had beeneatingbefore, if only the tiniest amount. In desperation, he started suggesting everything he could think of. “We could be having pizza. Or hamburgers. Or Italian pasta. Sandwiches. Mexican. Sushi. Which is favorite?” Surely Brooks would likesomething.

Brooks bit his ravaged lip, then he darted another glance at Nikolai and his teeth let go. Nikolai caught himself just before he praised Brooks for the fix.

It was only because Nikolai wanted Brooks’s lip to heal, that he was so concerned about it.

Brooks’s fingers fidgeted with the edge of the bowl holding the fruit. “Oh. Um. I’m not that picky.”

This time Nikolai had to stop himself from scoffing out loud. Not picky? Who did Brooks think he was kidding?

But calling the kid a liar wouldn’t help matters. “You have favorite food?” Nikolai probed. “Comfort food?”

It was perhaps too personal a line of questioning, but Nikolai needed to get somewhere with this. He was far from a man who counted calories, but Brooks had consumed very little in the going-on-three days he’d been in Nikolai’s home. He was on the verge of starving himself, and if he could just throw Nikolai a bone and answer the question about what he would be willing to eat, Nikolai would get it for him.

Certainly Nikolai shouldn’t try to cook again.

“M-maybe pizza?” Brooks said quietly. Everything about him was so quiet. Like he was afraid of being louder.

But at least he’d answered the question. Nikolai would happily order Brooks a pizza. Or three. At this point no matter what it was that Brooks would want to eat, Nikolai was ready to provide it. Pizza was easy.

Meredith was going to give Nikolai an earful later when she saw the order, but even she would agree that ordering something Brooks would actually eat was a worthwhile decision.

“Pizza.” Nikolai nodded. “Is good choice. There is nice place not very far. What toppings you like?”

Brooks's shoulders had dropped at successfully jumping that hurdle, and Nikolai was glad for it. He didn’t want Brooks to be so afraid he couldn’t even function while he was here.

“I like plain cheese,” Brooks said after a second. “Or um, pepperoni. But I’ll eat anything–”

“I’m not say you should eat anything,” Nikolai said abruptly, doing his best not to let his frustration show and missing by a mile if the way Brooks wilted was anything to go by. He soldiered on. “I’m asking what you would like. Plain cheese and pepperoni?

Brooks nodded.

“Good,” Nikolai said, relieved. “Thank you. I will also order the cheese bread, because I like that. Maybe also pasta.” He was already pulling out his phone, swiping over to the ordering app. He’d probably throw in quite a few extra things, just to see if Brooks would be tempted. After the last few days of not eating, Brooks’s cheeks, which had been hollow to begin with, had gained a gauntness that was alarming. Even his fear responses were slightly delayed, Nikolai was noticing, as if Brooks's brain was slowing in reaction time due to lack of nutrition.

Not good.

Nikolai kept his focus on the app, adding things he thought looked interesting. Out of the corner of his eye though, he kept an eye on Brooks. He watched him relax again, then his fingers inch back toward the grape.

Nikolai wasted time on the app long enough that three grapes made the slow journey to Brooks's mouth.

Progress.

***

That afternoon when he retrieved Brooks for lunch, he’d already put out all of the delivery items on the table. They sat once more across from each other, and Nikolai watched Brooks blink down at the food-laden table. Brooks even glanced backover his shoulder, as if he was expecting to see more people show up.

“I’m get carried away, so please eat everything you like,” Nikolai said when Brooks glanced back his way.

“Carried away, no kidding,” Brooks mumbled. Then he must’ve realized he’d spoken aloud, because his teeth snapped shut and a quick flush flared across his cheeks.

Nikolai only chuckled. Embarrassment was a big step up from how Brooks always seemed halfway to a panic attack. “I’m not getting to have pizza often. Meredith, you know, she wants me to live to be old man.”

“That’s… good.” Brooks said hesitantly as he took his seat. Nikolai started helping himself, pulling slices from boxes and then grabbing a new plate to scoop a healthy spoonful of cheesy pasta onto. He was looking forward to this. This place made much better pasta than Nikolai’s sad attempt at spaghetti.

“Yes,” Nikolai said. “Is annoying, but is maybe good my friend cares that I should live long time, yes? Since I’m won’t ever be having husband who wants same thing.”

Brooks looked up from putting a slice of pepperoni on his own plate, his eyes wide, but for once it didn’t seem from fear. More shock. Maybe he wasn’t expecting Nikolai to reveal that he was into men, even though Elliot himself was dating Vitale.

Then again, Vitale was pretty much the epitome of toxic masculinity. “You… won’t?” Brooks asked.

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