Page 76 of Pistols and Plush Toys

Meredith:Gerard’s idea isn’t…the worst idea in the world.

Gerard:Thanks, love.

Meredith:I don’t love it. I think that’s asking a lot of Elliot, who’s already been through some shit. But I do agree with Gerard that it’s bound to work. And probably work fast.

Gerard:Kolya, let me put it this way:

Gerard:If the roles were reversed and you saw Mattia putting his hands all over Elliot, would you sit back and take it?

Nikolai’s jaw clenched, mind immediately going to Elliot’s extensive bruises. The fingerprints around his throat.

Nikolai:I will ask Elliot.

Chapter 15: Elliot

Despite all the poking and prodding, Elliot liked Dr. Williams. He was friendly and efficient, and they got through the entire checkup in under an hour.

It had been… uncomfortable to give both a urine and blood sample, and even harder to allow someone to get close enough to his side and ribs to check to make sure nothing was broken. But Nikolai had said he trusted Dr. Williams, so Elliot made an effort to be compliant.

He tried not to think too hard about the fact that Nikolai had also trustedHorace. Horatio.

Nikolai, who had told him in no uncertain terms that it would never happen again. Who had given him Sheep. Touching his bruises so carefully with Sheep’s soft nose.“???? is sorry that you were hurt.”

So Elliot had fought down the unease and let Dr. Williams look him over. He did see the merit in doing it. He—he very much wanted to know what his test results would be. He’d never thought about it before, because he and Mattia had been in a stable, long-term relationship. He hadn’t even considered that Mattia might cheat on him.

But there were a lot of things Elliot hadn’t considered possible when it came to Mattia.

The positive side to that horrible thought was that, despite the bruising, Dr. Williams assured him that it didn’t seem like anything was seriously wrong. He’d need time to heal, to stop feeling the ache, but arnica cream and painkillers would help.

And… thinking of the arnica cream…

Once Dr. Williams left, Elliot flipped back his covers where he’d hidden Apricot and Sheep. He picked Sheep up and cuddledhim close, memories flooding back of that morning. The way that Nikolai had come into his room, offering the stuffed animal with a hopeful caution.

What he’d done afterwards, when Elliot had faltered…

Sheep wants to help, he’d said in that low, accented voice of his. It had sent shivers up Elliot's spine. Not only that Nikolai had been offeringcare,care and comfort, but that he’d chosen to try to do it with something as soft and simple as a plush toy.

Accepting that aspect of Elliot, and then using it to give Elliot something precious.

“What’s with the baby toy?”Was the first thing Mattia had said upon seeing Apricot, tone heavy with derision.“What the fuck do you have this thing for?”

They’d been going through Elliot’s things during Elliot’s move-in, and Mattia had been making a pile of all the items he’d said Elliot was “too good” to keep. In the pile were clothes Elliot was comfortable in and battered but well-loved cookbooks. Elliot remembered fumbling under Mattia’s judgmental stare. It had been earlier in their relationship and he’d wanted so much for Mattia to find him worthy.

“It’s sentimental,”he’d said. Like an apology.

Mattia had snorted.“It’s seen better days, El. Here, let me toss it for you.”

And he’d thrown Apricot into the trash bag.

Elliot had had to wait nearly an hour for Mattia to leave the room on a phone call to dig Apricot and the cookbooks out. He’d hidden both in one of his old backpacks, stowing it in a secondary closet that Mattia never used.

He’d been careful after that to ensure Apricot never made another appearance.

It was astounding to see the difference in how Nikolai had reacted to Apricot, even all those days ago when Elliothadbeen a prisoner in his home. He hadn’t said a single disparaging wordabout the toy. He’d even later given Elliot a gift in the form of Max the bear, and that was when Elliot was still being used as a bargaining chip.

Now he’d given Elliot Sheep, too.

Maybe that was why Elliot had decided to be brave and show Nikolai the marks Mattia had left on his body. Why he’d been able to strip off his shirt and bare himself.

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