Page 83 of Pistols and Plush Toys

After breakfast was finished and tidied up, Elliot went back to his room. He still wasn’t comfortable being out and about in the house, but for the moment Nikolai was leaving it be. He went to his own office to briefly look through his schedule for the day while he texted Meredith to catch her up on everything.

They arranged that she’d come by in about an hour to take Elliot out, accompanied by Alex. It would leave Nikolai the entire afternoon to take care of business. Which was good, because it meant Nikolai could go and handle the dirtier side of things and be back before Elliot was finished.

With that settled, Nikolai went to Elliot’s room to tell him of the plans. When he got to Elliot’s door it was cracked open, and Nikolai’s hand, poised to knock, paused.

Elliot was sitting in the window seat on the far side of the room, tucked up against the pillows, a puzzle book against his knees and Apricot in his lap. The sun was just beginning to come in on that side of the house, casting the whole scene in a golden softness.

Nikolai’s eyes lingered on Apricot, the small giraffe plush toy that at some point Elliot had stopped hiding from him. Perhaps the most precious thing Elliot owned. Nikolai had only touched Apricot once, but he knew the stuffed animal was old the way the fur had long lost its gloss. There’d been a few scrapes on its black eyes, further evidence of its history.

There was a story there that was private and all their own, but Nikolai wondered about it. Elliot must’ve had the stuffed animal for years. Before Vitale.

What had Vitale thought about Apricot?

It couldn’t be positive. He remembered the first few times he’d seen Apricot, and Elliot’s resulting nervousness. It spoke of shame. Of cruelty.

Not that that was at all a reach for Vitale.

Some men saw soft things and wanted to crush them for no other reason than because they could. Nikolai had seen it often enough growing up, how softness threatened some men’s masculinity, at what they perceived to be their power.

Under his father’s heavy hand, nothing had been soft. Nikolai had never been allowed tenderness or openness. Never been allowed to have toys or childish items.

Nikolai liked that Elliot did. That despite everything he’d gone through, Elliot had managed to keep Apricot safe, no doubt hidden. He’d stowed away this secret part of himself to keep it whole.

Someday he’d ask Elliot to tell him about his stuffed animals. About how Apricot had come to be with him. Maybe Elliot would even think him trustworthy enough to share.

His gaze drifted up to Elliot’s face. To the deep purple bruising that the sunshine couldn’t soften. It made Nikolai sick to his stomach every time he learned more about how Vitale had put him through hell.

Which led him back to Gerard’s plan. He needed to at least bring it up. See with his own eyes how Elliot felt.

He rapped his knuckles gently on the door.

Elliot didn’t startle, just turned his head, lifting his pen off the paper. He didn’t move to hide Apricot from Nikolai's eyes.

“I’m talk to Meredith,” Nikolai said first. “She will be by in one hour to pick you up.”

“Oh,” Elliot said. “Okay.”

Nikolai wanted to turn and retreat, to put this off, but he made himself stay. “There is… something else I’m wanting to talk to you about.”

His tone must have cued Elliot in on the seriousness of the topic, because he closed the book and set it aside, turning more completely toward Nikolai. His arms curled around Apricot, and Nikolai was glad Elliot had him.

“We’re getting news Vitale is in Italy,” Nikolai said.

That got Elliot to curl further into himself, expression tensing.

“First I’m thinking, okay, wait for Vitale to come back. But that will take time maybe, who knows,” Nikolai said. “So Gerard, he is saying maybe we could try different plan.” He sighed. “Is not bad plan. Probably would work I think. But it… involves you, and I’m not wanting to ask too much.”

“Me?” Elliot asked, sounding nervous.

“Nothing that involves you with Vitale,” Nikolai said quickly. “Gerard, he thinks… if we go out, you and me, if Vitale sees you with me, he’ll come back.”

A dozen emotions flickered across Elliot’s face. He landed somewhere near disbelief. “Sees me with you? Like working together?”

Nikolai shook his head. “Gerard thinks... if it looks like we’re on dates, then Vitale will get angry. Jealous. And come back.”

Elliot’s eyes grew wide, and his cheeks went pink. “Dating.Oh.”

“I’m saying is bad idea,” Nikolai said. “You have been hurt many times. But… Meredith thinks also it would work. “

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