Page 86 of Pistols and Plush Toys

“I appreciate your understanding. We do try to make sure that there are no unfortunate surprises with people around us.” Then Meredith sighed. “In regards to the mess with Horatio—I wanted to apologize properly for that.”

“What?” Elliot furrowed his brow. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was.” Meredith said gently. “I have to take responsibility. I helped hire him, and I missed something somewhere. And I’m really, truly sorry you suffered the consequences.”

Elliot shifted in his seat, uncomfortable. He hadn’t expected that from her. “That’s–it’s–” he almost saidfine, but kept the word in. “You can’t control everything.”

“I know,” Meredith said. “But you were hurt, and that matters. So I’m sorry.”

Elliot was hard-pressed to think of a single time Mattia had ever said sorry to him, but Nikolai had, and now Meredith had too, even though he blamed neither of them for what had happened.

He swallowed hard around a knot of emotion. “I’m–I’m glad to not be there anymore,” he confessed.

“From what Nikolai tells me, you were put in the middle of something you never should have been,” Meredith said, keeping her voice soft.

“I-I didn’t know what Mattia did for work. I–I should have, but I–” The tightness in his throat increased, cutting him off.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Meredith said. “Sometimes our paths change quickly, or get away from us. We end up doing things we didn’t know we were capable of. One day you’re a project manager at a healthcare software startup, hating your life choices, and the next your best friend from college is calling you up and asking you if you want a job managing a startup jewelry business with a famous Russian mob boss’s son.”

Elliot stared at her, wide-eyed. “Is that–is that how you met?”

“That’s how I met Nikolai,” Meredith said, humming. “Gerard and I were friends in college. We met when he stabbed a guy for me.”

Elliot didn’t think it was possible, but his eyes got rounder.

Meredith laughed. “It was technically self-defense, but I’d say it built a lasting bond between me and Gerard.”

Elliot didn’t even know what to say to that. “Wow.”

Meredith smiled. She had a really nice smile, warm and friendly. “And now it’s twenty years later and I don’t know where I’d be without them. Certainly it’s not a career trajectory I’d recommend to everyone, but even on hard days I’d rather be here than drudging through corporate America. Nikolai and Gerard are the two best things that ever happened to me, and sometimes you have no idea how your life is going to go.”

“I, um, I guess I understand that, yeah,” Elliot said.

“Maybe someday all of this will feel worth it to you,” Meredith said. “Even if it’s scary and hard to manage right now. Mattia Vitale doesn’t seem like a nice man to be in close quarters with, so I’d say I’m also glad you aren’t with him anymore.”

“I don’t think I’m as brave as you,” Elliot said, looking down at his hands, “I didn’t really choose to change my life, Iwas kind of… taken from it. Which I’m grateful for,” he added quickly, “I probably would still be there if not for, um, all of this.”

“I don’t think that’s giving yourself enough credit,” Meredith said. “You still made a decision when Nikolai came to get you. You didn’t have to go with him, but you did. It takes a lot to leave someone who’s hurting you. It’s brave.”

Elliot didn’t feel brave, but he didn’t want to argue with her.

“I just didn’t want anyone to get hurt,” he said quietly.

Meredith made a sound of understanding. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt either. That includes you.”

The knot was back in his throat and he swallowed around it. He never had had so many people care about him before. Not in the way Nikolai and now Meredith seemed to.

Meredith let the silence sit until the car was pulling into a parking lot.

“Alright,” she said when Alex had parked, unbuckling her seatbelt. “Let’s find you some new things for your new life.”

Elliot took a deep breath. “Okay.”

***

Someone was following them through the mall.

Before the kidnapping, Elliot wouldn’t have noticed. He’d never been involved with crime or anything that would have included someone stalking him.

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