Page 89 of Pistols and Plush Toys

When they were finished, Meredith headed to the checkout with Elliot’s cart and her own. Gerard pulled Elliot away to keep telling him about a balisong competition he’d attended just last year. Gerard had come in second place, and was gunning for first in this year’s. Elliot had no frame of reference for balisong, but when Gerard pulled up a video and showed him, it was incredibly impressive.

They were interrupted only when Meredith finished checkout and Gerard hurried to grab the heavy bags from her. Gerard had been ferrying their shopping to the car the entire shopping venture so they wouldn’t be overwhelmed by too many bags.

“The first place video was brilliant,” Gerard said with a grin as he started to stride away. “Be right back and then I’ll show you!”

“Just one more stop,” Meredith said as she came to stand beside him. She tilted her head in the direction of an electronics store across the way.

“What do I need in there?” Elliot asked, confused. He already had a phone.

“A computer,” Meredith said matter-of-factly. “How else will you find and keep recipes?”

“Oh, but—I mean, I can do that on my phone,” Elliot stammered.

“You can, but this will be easier.” Meredith said smoothly, starting to usher him toward the store. “I’m getting one whether you use it or not, so come on.”

And Elliot had no choice but to follow.

***

“Are you sure you really want to go through with the plan to be bait?” Meredith asked when the car pulled out of the mall parking lot.

“I’m sure.” Elliot said, as certain as he could. “If I can help—I want to help. If… if this stops Mattia from hurting someone else then… I want to do it.”

Elliot had never been brave, but he didn’t want to be a coward anymore.

She fixed him with a searching look. “You don’t owe us anything, Elliot.”

“I do though. I kind of owe you guys everything,” he said truthfully, hands curling together in his lap. “But I can do this. I want to do this. And I… I want a new life, without—without worrying if he’s still out there.”

Meredith was silent for a long time. “I understand,” she said finally. “But if you change your mind, that’s okay too. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Thank you,” Elliot said. “For everything today. It was nice to get some new things. To, um, to buy some things that… that I wanted.”

Meredith smiled. “Good. You deserve it. And we’ll get your payment stuff set up this week, so then you’ll have direct access to your money.” She slipped her phone out of her pocket, eyes on it. From where he was Elliot could see the lock screen full of notifications. “Although now, unfortunately, I need to answer some more emails. I’m sorry.”

“No, that’s okay,” Elliot said quickly. “I’m fine, really.”

“No rest for the weary.” Meredith sighed and unlocked her phone.

Elliot turned back to his window and closed his eyes as the car headed back onto the highway, feeling the sun on his face. He felt… weirdly at ease. Safe.

Gerard had stayed with them all day, and the extra pair of eyes had helped. Gerard was in his forties like Nikolai, and despite his joking, there was a competency to him. It was the same feeling Elliot had around Nikolai. Like nothing bad could happen if Elliot just stayed close.

He understood the three of them better now, Nikolai and Meredith and Gerard. How they slotted together like puzzle pieces. He wondered what it was like to have such an old friendship. To have stable relationships that spanned almost half your life. People you could trust to keep you safe.

That sounded better than all the money in the world.

He opened his eyes to peer back at Meredith. There were smile lines at the corners of her mouth, a history in the way she held herself.

Elliot ached then with a kind of desire he’d never felt before. To have this kind of lived-in life. Old friends and inside jokes and smile lines. The kind of certainty that when you teased your friend or lover, they wouldn’t attack you for it. Hit you for it. A life where he could make mistakes and be forgiven. He could earn and spend the currency of friendship.

He thought a lot about that as they drove back to Nikolai’s house. About what he was volunteering to do, and how, if Nikolai succeeded, Elliot’s whole life would be different.

He was finding that a bit less scary than he had this morning.

By the time Alex parked the car, Nikolai was strolling out of the house. He and Alex went right to the trunk to grab the shopping and Elliot hurried to get out of the car to help.

Then he got a look at the very full trunk.

---