Page 43 of Song Bird Hearts

“I’ve killed for the highest bidder and enjoyed it. Is that the kind of man you want kissing you? One who thought it would be easier to just let you die? One who looked at you as a paycheck when we first met? Is that what you want?”

All those words, and my mind catches on one of them. Like a fool, my eyes widen, and I take it as the proof I’m looking for.

“Looked?” I repeat.

He blinks. “What?”

“You said, ‘looked,’” I repeat, staring at him. “Past tense.”

Knox’s hands curl into fists, like the ground just shifted underneath him and he has to hold onto something. “I did not.”

“You did.”

He tilts his head back in frustration. “You don’t understand, Val?—”

“Then help me understand!”

His voice rips out of him like a roar. “I will strangle you with the red string of fate that ties us together! Do you get that?” The words are brutal, poetic, and also. . . so raw it chokes the air from my lungs. He storms toward me until my back finds the post again, my heart in my throat. I flinch when he slams his fist into the porch post above me, the sound echoing like a gunshot. “I sleep with a fuckin’ gun,” he spits. “I haven’t shared a bed in ten years without endangering someone. I wake up swinging. I don’t trust myself. Do not play this game with me, Trouble. I’m just trying to do my goddamn job.” He shakes his head. “Just let me do my goddamn job,” he chokes out.

I wanted emotion. I’m getting it. I just never thought. . .

My eyes water, but I refuse to let the tears fall. Not here in front of him, not like this. He can’t see me cry. But his words slam into me, one after the other. He could have at least kissed the brick before he threw it at me. He could have. . . he could have. . .

“You’re right,” I say softly, looking anywhere but in his eyes. How selfish am I? How much of fool have I been? “I’m sorry.” I slip from between his body and the pole, desperate to get away before I make a fool of myself. “I’ll let you just. . .do your job.”

“Val—” he starts, voice rough as his hand lifts like he’s gonna reach for me.

I don’t give him the chance, taking another step back. What a fool I am. What a terrible, stupid, naïve fool.

The screen door slams open behind us before I can bolt. Gilden bursts out, barefoot and shirtless like he’d just woken up. His curls are a mess on top of his head, but his eyes are sharp.

He looks between the two of us, clearly realizing some shit went down, but out of character for him, he doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he says, “we’ve got a problem.”

I turn toward him fully, shaken, but knowing that my emotions are gonna have to wait. “What kind of problem?”

“One of your little internet sleuths just figured out where we are,” he replies, his lips pressed into a fine line.

Knox’s face hardens as he steps up beside me. I flinch away from him, a movement that Gilden doesn’t miss. “What? How?”

“Process of elimination. They’ve been following patterns, tracking reports and the fucking doorbell cameras even. Someone mentioned National Forest signage and began looking up Google earth videos to find cabins. Smart fuckers.” Gilden shakes his head. “A lot of your fans convinced the person to take the video down once they realized, but. . . it’s already out there.”

“Shit,” Knox growls, grabbing the gun he’d been cleaning and starting to snap it back together. “We gotta move. This place is compromised.”

“Where the hell are we supposed to go?” Gilden asks, tense as Wolf steps out on the porch after him.

They talk back and forth, but their words fade out as my mind takes over. This place is compromised. We can’t stay here. How long will I be forced to run and hide? How long will I have to do this? I can’t keep this up forever, and the 27 Foundation isn’t going to let things go. Is this really how I want to live the rest of my life? Hiding like a scared little girl?

Famous Valerie has been doing just that, keeping her head down, letting other people tell her what to do. But the old Val, the one I am at my core, would never back down from a fight, would never hide.

And I’m not going to let her disappear under the weight of all that fame. Not anymore.

I tilt up my chin, all three of their gazes going to me. Whatever they see in my eyes, they stop talking, and instead wait to hear what it is I have to say.

“Home,” I declare, my voice strong. “We go home.”

Chapter20

Knox

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