Page 60 of Reputation
“I do,” she said, smiling fondly.She looked back at him.“This position is what I’ve been working toward for a while,” she paused, the smile falling from her lips.Remembering the precariousness of her contract, it occurred to her how close to the edge she was with this man.Reality splashed over her like a bucket of ice water.She drew in a deep breath.“This job is very important to me.I want the permanent offer next year.”
Because it’s the only thing that will prove I didn’t waste my potentialechoed in her head.The thought caused a bitter taste to swell in her mouth.
Holding eye contact, she watched him scan her face, but he carefully controlled his reactions.She wanted to know what he was thinking..
“What about you?”she asked, changing the subject.“Did you always know you wanted to play hockey?”
“Pretty much.”He nodded, taking a sip of his bourbon.“I started learning when I was three,” he said, laughing.“I was barely old enough to walk, but as soon as I had those skates on, it was like…I don’t know.It felt right.When I was ten, I knew I wanted to go pro and wanted to play for the Royals.I’m homegrown, grew up cheering for this team, and I knew that’s what I wanted to do.”
“No girlfriend or wife, though,” Eavie said casually, looking back at her drink.She didn’t want him to know that his response mattered more to her than she let on.
After learning that he’d once been engaged, she wanted to understand more about him.She wanted to know what happened.
She saw his crooked smirk out of the corner of her eye.“No girlfriend or wife,” he confirmed.
“Any reason why?”She lifted her gaze again, looking at him as she asked.
He turned away, as if her question had hit a sore spot.It was his turn to stare at his drink.
Shrugging, he said, “I’ve been too focused on my career.Any serious relationships I’ve had have broken up because I spend a lot of time working on and off the ice.With all the travel, they inevitably get fed up with my lack of attention, I believe one past girlfriend called it.”
Her next question balanced itself on the precipice of her tongue.She wanted to know, but also didn’t want to upset him.She sat facing him, watching him drink as she debated.She took a moment to scan his chiseled jaw and model-like cheeks with a dusting of dark stubble she wanted to brush her fingers over.
Finally, she opened her mouth to ask the question she’d debated over.She knew it might be a sore subject, but if she was going to untangle this mess of feelings she had, she felt she had a right to know.
“And what about your fiancée—or ex-fiancée, I guess,” she asked as gently as possible.
A muscle in his jaw flexed before he lifted his glass to his lips.Her eyes tracked the movement of his throat as he swallowed.His chest pushed against the white fabric of his shirt when he inhaled.
He turned to look at her.His normally confident demeanor was gone, and she saw a sadness in his eyes that caused her heart to constrict.
Licking his sensuous lips, the bottom one just a little bigger than the top, he answered.“When my contract in Chicago was up, I was set on going to Toronto.Growing up here, I’d always wanted to play for my home team, and they were in a good position to win a cup.My agent was working out the deal and,” he paused, shaking his head.“Abigail—she had no interest in leaving Chicago,” he sighed sadly.“When I signed the deal, I moved a few days later, and she stayed.”
He said it so casually, but a hint of bitterness beneath made Eavie think there was more he wasn’t saying.Sadness and something like defeat shone in his stormy eyes.
Unable to stand it, she looked away, momentarily closing her eyes.She couldn’t imagine how hard that must have been for him—to think he’d found the one person he wanted to spend his life with, only to have her end it when his career took him elsewhere.
Eavie had always considered herself a feminist, but she also couldn’t imagine not supporting her future husband in his career, just as she expected he would support her.
She cleared her throat.“And there’s been no one since?No one serious,” she asked.
A heartbeat passed, then another, as if he was fighting to control his ghosts.He turned his head, a gentle, wistful smile finally pulling at his lips.
“Maybe one day, with the right woman, it’ll work out,” he answered softly.
His words hit her square in the chest, and she suddenly wanted to be that woman.Something about the way he said them, though, made her pause.It almost sounded like he didn’t believe it would happen.
Tilting her head, she regarded him thoughtfully.“Why does it seem like you don’t believe that?”
He chuckled darkly.“Chalk it up to my experience so far.I have a hard time trusting the intentions of women.As it turned out, I couldn’t even trust my fiancée when it came down to it,” he said bitterly.
That was interesting.There was so much emotion underneath his words that she knew he was carrying his own scars.
“Is that why you hide who you really are to the world?Why you’re someone else with the media and the public?”she asked, beginning to fill in the blanks of her own understanding of him.
He turned amused eyes on her.“What makes you think that’s not who I really am?”he shot back.
She let the silence descend on them again as she let his question hang in the air.Slowly, she took a sip of her drink.
