Page 32 of You're So Vine
“Your sister sounds strong.”
“Can carry a hay bale in each hand.”
Ava folds back so she’s lying on the bed again and gives into laughter. Me and my fragile male ego try to maintain our dignity.
“Then why horses?” she says, still smiling. “Why not —I don’t know—rescue dogs?”
Shit. The answer to that lies in a verydark place. But Ava has been so open with me…
She picks up on my sudden stillness, and sits up again, smile gone.
“You don’t have to tell me,” she says. “About your reasons. About Lee.”
My turn for a smile, a rueful one.
“You’ve got to stop giving me an out,” I say. “If we’re to do this, you have to know stuff about me. Stuff that’s … not pretty.”
I see her acknowledge the truth of that. See her hesitate, too. I’d do the same in her place. Sometimes secrets are better left unsaid. Trouble is, you don’t always know which until it’s too late.
“Can you tell me about the riding school first?” she says. “Maybe I could help out there, too?”
“Sure. We always need volunteers. How about you come out with me next Sunday?”
“What would I do? Teach the kids to ride?”
“It’s not so much about learning to ride, more about how the experience of being on a horse gives them confidence. Some of these kids have intellectual as well as physical disabilities, and the team who work directly with them are all trained-up health professionals. The volunteers … we’re just there to walk alongside, give extra support. And to do the stable work,” I add.
“Done plenty of that in my life,” says Ava. “What other skills are they looking for?”
“You need patience, and you need to be calm,” I say. “And you need to like kids.”
Ava stares at me for a beat. “Is zero-point-five out of three acceptable?”
“Where’d you score the half point?” I ask, amused.
“I quite like kids,” she says. “I’ve met a couple who were pretty cool.”
Guess everyone has these critical moments when you’re starting out in a relationship. When you realize what the deal-breakers are. Like how much you trust each other. And what paths you both want to go down in life.
But I’m leaping ahead. I’ve promised to tell Ava about my past and when I do there’ll be no taking it back. We might be over before we’ve even got started.
ChapterEleven
AVA
Cam’s going to spill about him and Lee, and part of me wants to shove a pillow over his face and hold it down until he stops twitching. Setting aside the fact that he could lift me and the pillow off him with one hand, I know that won’t solve my problem. Because the problem is me. If Cam shares his secrets, then I should share mine. And I’m not even sure I’ve admitted them fully to myself yet.
Feeling vulnerable sucks. Jealousy sucks. Waiting, not knowing and being anxious suck big time.
“Do we need alcohol for this?” Asking for a friend.
“I’m all out of mandarin juice and refined rowan berry,” he replies.
“Nate said he saw a cocktail on the menu at Bartons with octopus’ milk in it.”
Cam goes quiet.
“How do you—?”
