Page 45 of You're So Vine
She stares at me a beat longer, then drops a kiss on my knuckles, releases my hand. “Sure.”
Then she picks up her third donut, offers it to me. I’m tempted but…
“Save it for after the blood test,” I suggest.
Ava nods. “You don’t have to come. The hospital’s a ten-minute walk. I can meet you back here.”
Hoo boy. For a moment, I feel winded.
Ava reaches out for my hand again. The urge to run comes back stronger than ever.
“I don’t think less of you for disliking hospitals,” she says. “I hate hospitals. I hate feeling dependent and I hate not knowing what’s going on. And I’ve only been in the hospital a couple of times with broken bones and concussion, occupational hazard with horse riding. I was in and out in a few hours. Nothing like what you went through—”
“Ava!” I yank my hand away. “Drop it.”
It’s the first time I’ve snapped at her. First time I’ve snapped at anyone for years.
She recoils. Her blue eyes flash.
“Bet you’ve told Lee all about it,” she accuses. “Bet you didn’t hesitate about spilling your guts to her.”
I regret snapping at her, but that was below the belt.
“Lee didn’t push me,” I say.
“Oh, so I’m pushing you?” says Ava. “Am I not simply showing you some fucking empathy and consideration?”
The guy behind the counter is looking our way. Guess we’re making what’s known as “a scene”.
“I don’t want to talk about it now.” Not here. Not with eyes on us. Not while I feel like I’m backed into a corner.
“Okay, you know what?” Ava shoves the one leftover donut back in the box and scrapes back the chair as she gets to her feet. “You go. I’ll call Danny and get him to pick me up from the hospital.”
Shit. “Ava…”
Too late. She’s out the door. The guy behind the counter catches my eye and shrugs, as if to say “Women, eh?”
He’s wrong. Only one person to blame for this, and it’s yours truly. Doing what I do best, which is react badly when my emotional buttons get pushed.
Lee bore the brunt of that for years. It was true what I said about her giving me time, but she also never let me off the hook. She kept on encouraging me to give things a try and then stick them out, not give up. Lee was positive, optimistic, kind, and relentless. Even when I behaved like an immature shithead. Same way I did just now.
What the fuck, Hollander.Avawasshowing you empathy and consideration. It’syourfault you couldn’t handle it. It’s the same reason you got shitty last night. Sure, those guys might have been jerks, but you overreacted because their stupid jokes reminded you of all the times you’d been an emotional coward. Those women Lee set you up with were perfectly nice (okay, maybe not the arsonist, shewasa touch insane.) But to spend more time with them would have meant deeper conversation and venturing into emotional, vulnerable territory. So, instead, you dumped them and ran away.
Now, you’re the one who’s been dumped, and you deserve it.
Ava was right. She doeshave bigger balls than most, certainly bigger than yours. If you want her back, you’d better make more ballsy choices from now on.
You could start with not being resentful that she didn’t leave you that last donut.
ChapterFifteen
AVA
Being patient, you may have already guessed, is not one of my top skills. Running, riding, driving—moving forward at speed has always been my thing. It’s why I’m direct because who knows what might happen tomorrow? Why regret what you didn’t say?
Of course, that also works in reverse. What you do say can make everything fall to shit. But dammit, unlike the times when interrogation absolutely is my goal, I wasn’t trying to be nosy. Or “pushy”, gah! I bet the saintly Lee Armstrong pushed Cam all the time. She just disguised it by being all sweet and nice. I wouldyell out loud in frustration if I didn’t think it might send Mom off the road. Danny wasn’t picking up when I called him, and Izzy and Max left for the airport this morning, so I had no choice but to beg Mom to come and get me from the hospital. Which she did, bless her. Unfortunately, her first question to me was about Cam, and where he was.
“Not here,” was my short answer.
